Smoke and Mirrors

2008-06-02T22:17:00.002+08:00

Have been testing out Wordpress.com.

http://lavished.wordpress.com

I like the interface and management, a lot cleaner.

Tokyo Day 2

2008-05-25T20:18:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Dumdeedoo..

I love Jap food. I feel so much more at home here than I did in the States.. though of course, I still love the US of A...

Went to Shibuya and Harajuku, Sis and I actually managed to get FOOTWEAR. Bought a pair of pretty slippers...

Saw the Freak Show in Harajuku (aka all the uh, cosplayers in their jrock garb) and we actually walked to Meiji shrine to have a look.

ATE THE BEST KRISPY KREME EVER. *love, melts, love, melts again*

Yes, they have my favourite donuts here in Japan. Every brand in Singapore pales in comparison. (Even though j.co is my no-fish-prawn-also-good alternative in Sg, with Munchy's falling in behind and Donut Factory so totally lagging after.)

We were queueing (yes there was a queue for Krispy Kremes) for our yummilicious donuts when one of the shop assistants came out with a tray of piping hot, literally FRESH off the donut conveyor belt original glazed donuts and began handing them out to people in the queue. THE BEST FREE SAMPLES EVER.
And the most orgasmic donut experience ever. :D
It literally, melted in my mouth - icing, flour, and all. Warm and oh so good.
As Sis said, we'll never get such a fresh experience ever again.
I mean how often can and will you ever get donuts so obscenely fresh? And Krispy Kremes at that!

Uh okay and thats about the most exciting thing that happened today.
Lol.

We exhausted ourselves with so much walking that we stumbled back to the hotel early today - we were back even before 7.30pm.

Gonna turn in early tonight 'cause we've to be up early tomorrow to take the train to Disney Sea.
Train system here is like the London Tube. Aka, many, many lines. Many colours. But in Jap.

2008-05-24T20:42:00.002+08:00

Hello!

We're in Tokyo now, which means I'm (almost) back to our timezone. Tokyo's an hour ahead, as compared to LA being 15hours behind. So its time to readjust my body clock back. x_O

Love the service standards here totally. So much better than LAX airport. Bleh.
LAX airport needs to behave like one worthy of a major American city.

But well, everything always seems watered down in comparison with Japan - the pinnacle of service standards practically anywhere in the world.

Hotels here are small, as usual. Sis says she feels like she's on a cruise ship (lawl). Cause Japanese toilets are really quite, quite tiny. And there isn't even really much space for me to use Lappy because we have to use the LAN point and I can only go as far as the wires go - which means I'm crouched at the edge of my bed typing this.

Lots and lots of pictures taken (mostly by Sis because she claims she's the better photographer).
Proper vacation post sometime later.

Have missed both Mardi Gras and The Zone concert.
And I misssssssssssssss church.

Well at least there's Arrow camp coming up in a couple of weeks. Yayness. :)
And RT chalet!

I miss all the folks back home. :(

2 more days in Tokyo - will be flying back Tuesday morning.
Tomorrow - Shinjuku and Harajuku.
Monday - DisneySea!

Oh yes have I mentioned that the bulk of our purchases are probably from Disneyland?

Didn't manage to get many gifts for people cause we didn't really shop this time.
So sorry if I didn't get you anything!

Post Disneyland happiness. :)

2008-05-22T14:37:00.002+08:00

I love Disneyland. Although for a couple of moments today I started to feel just a teensy weensy bit too old for the place, the feeling soon dissipated. Well. It definitely is a different experience this time around. The last time I went to Disneyland was when I was 10 years old. And I still totally love being immersed in the atmosphere. It still brings out my inner child (which contrary to popular belief, never actually goes away), makes me highly excitable and causes me to buy loads of cute (and generally stuffed and fluffy) things.

Since I've arrived, my current plushie count is four.
My favourite purchase of the trip so far so totally has to be my Reese's Peanut Butter Cups beanie pillow/cushion. Yes, you heard me right. It's rectangular and shaped like a packet of Peanut Butter Cups and its orange and lovely and squishy. :)
The other 3 members of the crew are an Eeyore, Pooh and Shamu.
I'm such a sucker for these things.
So much for my resolution not to buy any more stuffed toys!

Anyway, not that I don't want to put up photos but I'm getting really lazy and sleepy.

Will do a full photolog, uhm, soon.. uhm, eventually.

*falls asleep*

Day what now? San Clementa, CA.

2008-05-21T14:07:00.002+08:00

Hello! Don't know how long my batt's going to last. The only 2 two-pin plugs we brought are currently being expended on my Mom's laptop and the camera battery.

The past two days have been awesome. Would've blogged yesterday but was wayyy too tired.

Sis and I went to San Diego Seaworld yesterday without Mom cause Mom was sick (there's something in the water, she claims. So now we've bought distilled water in these big galleons bottles...).

It was amazing. My 3rd Seaworld - after Florida and Aussie. And I still love it. Each Seaworld is unique in its own way even though they all have the same shows and rides.

Seeing these beautiful creatures still take my breath away.
*in love*

And today was even more awesome 'cause we went on a Dolphin Safari - we took a boat out into the ocean to see pods of wild dolphins. And they were swimming around the boat and all, leaping out of the water, frolicking around, and there were like hundreds of 'em. Totally awesome.. We didn't get to see whales though they've been spotted in the vicinity the past couple of days. But it was still an amazing experience, riding up front in the hull of the boat while the waves brought us up and down and brought our hearts pumpin' the same way our hearts do on the coasters... getting our feet and board shorts wet and freeeeeeeeezing in the chill of the wind.

Was REALLY hard to get photos (which means we didn't get any) but Sis caught a video of them.

Am not uploading photos now cause I don't think Lappy's ridiculous battery can last long enough for me to blog a thorough entry. (As it is it's been switched on for 10 mins and the battery's already 56%.)

But while it lasts, here are some teasers.
(And while it uploads, Lappy groans and moans in flat batt-ness.)

Okay too bad, no photos. *marvels at her laptop's battery life*
0%!!!!! Blog more tomorrow after Disneyland.

LA Day 3: San Clemente Cove

2008-05-19T14:45:00.006+08:00

Hello, day three now. The most devastating news today is probably the fact that we won't be able to go shopping at our 2nd Factory Outlet destination (oh horrors!). :(

But everything else so far has been good. We were at Citadel Factory Outlet stores today and I bought loads of stuff and got Levi's at a steal...

But was saving up to shop at the 2nd place, so well, now that may not happen.

Sis and I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain yesterday - the first thing I must say about this part of the world towards the end of Spring is that it is SO. RIDICULOUSLY HOT. Its even hotter than Singapore and since its dessert land and there are no clouds - the sun literally just GLARES down at you in its full 28 to 30 degree heat.

Got mild heatstroke/dehydration there and was seriously nauseous and giddy for some time. Took about 5 rides - queues were SO long, but it was fun. :) (Thank God for flash passes!)

Just a couple of pictures - we didn't really take many. Our bags were in the locker most of the time and we were too busy taking rides.

Sis and I are quite conditioned to roller-coasters these days so it takes quite a lot to get us going. But a lot of it was satisfactorily fun. :]

Then we tried to cab back from Six Flags to meet Mom at Citadel Factory Outlet - but we got a bad driver who brought us to DOWNTOWN LA which isn't exactly the safest place to be, especially towards evening - so we got pretty anxious when we tried calling cabs and no one knew where on earth we were referring to and stuff. It was starting to get dark and we'd already been stranded there for over an hour (we paid $100USD for the stupid driver to take us there too. Grr.). Mom finally took a cab down and rescued us and we headed over to Universal Citywalk.

Which was a really nice, happening place to be. Somewhat like the one in Osaka which we didn't really get the opportunity to explore.

(Spoils in my hand: 2 new Starbucks tumblers, one for me and the other for Agnes. And a bunch of Roxy tshirts.)

Ate at a fantastic Mexican restaurant for dinner - forgot to take pictures of the food because we were so hungry. There was a Mexican band and all. The food was really quite orgasmic. And the margaritas were pretty solid too. Good choice. We nearly ate at Hard Rock (ubiquitous to the Universal landscape) but it was full so we ended up with Mexican (I don't even remember the name of the place) which turned out to be a better choice after all! Daddy's good to us. :)

But here's a shot of the band.
And we had some lovely fried ice-cream dessert there too.

Today we shopped and came over to San Clemente - we're no longer in LA, technically. Just still somewhere in California. We're staying at a beach resort and it really looks like one of those places out of Baywatch or the OC or something - the kind you can imagine meeting some really hot surfer dude at. (And there are loads of surfers out there hitting the waves. Our resort is by the beach.)

So basically, yes today's shopping trip meant that we decided to forgo going to Universal Studios. We've all already been there at least twice or thrice anyway, though I haven't actually been to the LA one. There's going to be one in Singapore in a couple of years and I can't wait to take on some fun part-time job there. He he he.

And on a side note, I finally tried American Starbucks' idea of what Green Tea Frap is, and it tastes horrible. These people have no clue what Green Tea is. Its tastes like some sort of fruity Tazo tea and the only clue to its Green Tea-ness would be the fact that it was green. Other than that, there wasn't even a hint of green tea flavour to it at all.

Coming back to our resort - we get REALLY lovely sunsets here.
We watched it set earlier and it was, wow. The colours were just amazing.

Sis took the shots below and just CHECK OUT THE COLOURS.

Setting sun. Purple, pink, orange.

Post sunset.

Lovely. :)

Well yes. I am enjoying myself very much. I'm not sorry if any of you are jealous because Daddy God wants us to enjoy this holiday - and like I've blogged about before, its so funny how human nature leads us to berate ourselves whenever we're having fun because the devil doesn't want us to think we can be happy by doing nothing. Or by not working.

Well God wants us to sit back, relax and enjoy this holiday.
And thats precisely what I'm gonna do. :)

LA Day 1!

2008-05-17T15:32:00.004+08:00

Hello! I'm in LA now.
The flight here was 15hours on SQ Executive Economy (which means instead of the usual 3 4 3 economy class seating, its 2 3 2 instead).

Managed to catch like, 5 movies. o_O
Or more.
Lets see.
Fast-forwarded through a lot of Jumper because it was boring.
Watched 27 Dresses which OMG I actually liked so much and James Marsden was so totally adorable in with his bee-yoo-ti-ful eyes and cocky smile.
Then came Charlie Wilson's War which, as a History student and connoisseur of Cold War history, I well and truly liked and appreciated.
Decided to watch PS. I Love You after some deliberation and I CRIED like a wuss at regular intervals through the whole show. AHHHHHH I'm such a girl but I really loved it.
Watched a bit of some SERIOUSLY dead boring Japanese show in between as well. And the opening bits of National Treasure 2.

Plane food was good this time around - of course, long haul flights with SQ tend to be more pleasurable. The past few SQ flights have given me disappointing food (ie. Osaka). But this time's was a lot better (double standards!). In fact, as far as I can recall, Thai Airline probably has better food, if not as good, as SQ.

But dinner on the plane was really awesome just because they gave us a Ben&Jerry's BAR ice-cream for dessert and it was FANTABULOUS. Cookie dough ice-cream sandwiched in a layer of chocolate on one side a brownie slab on the other. Sinful dessert bliss.

Well.
Then we took ages to clear customs. Landed at 4.15pm - but with customs and waiting for the trasport service to the hotel - we only departed from the airport at 6.25pm.

Got to the hotel over an hour later at 7.50pm. And guess what, we're staying at the Hilton Universal City. Coolness. Was a bit O_O initially upon realization because my family usually gets service apartments or lower end hotels when we travel. Hilton isn't actually our usual travel fare. But it seems like Sis got points from her previous job so our stay here is actually free (leGASP!).

Thank you Jesus for these little luxuries. X)

So we had dinner downstairs. A buffet that could rival the very best Singapore could offer.
Some pictures.

Very good sashimi. And Sis and I have tastebuds that have been particularly difficult to please later. And they were, quite pleased.

In this shot - clam chower that was so thick it was literally paste. A very powerful chowder indeed. Potent wasabi in the background. A fun salad shot. And my sashimi and a very nicely done sushi wrap thing in very delicate, delicious skin.

The less happening food - which was the only one I managed to take because we finished off the very good lobster, steak, salmon and other misc seafood before I managed to sneak shots of it.

Glorious desserts (the most important part of any meal to me and sissy).

AMAZING Fondue - much tastier than many I've had in Singapore. PLUS white chocolate fondue which would've made Rene go mad. Too bad we aren't big on white choc ourselves.

Dark chocolate mousse which was so RICH it pwned me.
Creme brulee, nice bread and butter pudding and decent tiramisu.

The less happening desserts. Decent carrot cake and chocolate mini-cake. The strawberry ones were disappointing.

Didn't manage to sample everything because the spread was LARRRGEEE..
But it was definitely a good meal. :)

We'll only be at Hilton for tonight (its past 1am here) and another night - then we're off to San Clemente for another coupla nights before we head to Tokyo.

Six Flags Magic Mountain theme park tomorrow!!! Roller coasters! Many many many roller coasters!!

Okay. Must go bathe.
And sleep.

Goodnight!

2008-05-15T22:00:00.003+08:00

FLYING OFF TOMORROW!!! :)

As John says.. "Lizzy embarking on another gud lyf."

I will be thinking of all of you. :D (The other RTs especially. It shall be weird not seeing you guys now that I've become accustomed to seeing you 5 days a week.)

Packing has been a mess because I'm vain and want to dress well every day.

HAHA.

...

As usual, a lot more things I could've/should've blogged about but once the moment is gone - it becomes rather difficult to recover.

NUS still hasn't sent me a letter of acceptance. I'm now starting to get paranoid that I might actually have placed Accountancy as my first choice instead of FASS. ROFL.
Which will be oh so such a big terrible joke and I will end up in NTU Communication Studies as an inevitable end. Not that its a bad choice - it is a very good choice! Both are, and hence the good dilemma.

Talked to Mom earlier.. I love my Mom.
So many things about her to love.. :)

Anyway, its already 11.30PM now, this entry was interrupted by Jason's phone call -which I of course, am always more than happy to receive..

So good night everyone 'cause I'm still in the throes of packing. :D

2008-05-10T10:22:00.005+08:00

My teaching stint has officially ended. I'll still be in school next week for a few days but I'll no longer be employed by the English department. Lol.

Am to help with various Mardi Gras saikang and do up the Mardi Gras website.

Glad to see people wearing my shirt. Muahaha, although blue hasn't been very sellable. The purple and green are quite lovely.

It's been a really nice week - was sad to have to say goodbye to 14/08 and 16/08. The past 4.5 months have passed so quickly. I've slipped so much into 'teacher' mode that even Jason can no longer get away with grammatical slips without me correcting him.

I've learned so much in this school - one thing about the English department is that because there's always so much do, being a GP relief teacher means its gives you the opportunity to take on so many other roles and learn so many things. Yes, we may have wailed over how much more we seem to have to do on top of our regular workload, but I'm sure the rest would agree with me when I say we have learnt so much more because of this. In a way, its because the teachers have treated us like one of their own, not just as reliefs who owe no dedication and loyalty to the same cause the full-time staff are expected to take on.

Its been an amazing journey that I have no regrets having taken on. The more I taught, the more I learned, and I feel like I have grown exponentially in many ways just having been here these few months.

Thanks to all my students who wrote me notes - I suppose these are the moments where teachers feel that what they're doing actually holds true purpose and meaning, and gives them a reason to continue what they do - speak into the lives of young people who will one day hold the world on their shoulders.

I'm speaking as though I'm so old when I'm only but one of them too. HAHA!
In life, time and chance happen to us all. Under different circumstances, these very same people could have just been my friends, equals, or even superiors. But there's a time and place for everything, and by God-intervention it has been planned as such. And I'm glad I had the opportunity to sow seeds into these lives.

It is here at the threshold between youth and adulthood that I begin to see the world from a clearer, more focused lens. I truly appreciate my youth even more, now that I've seen but a tiny fraction of what the working world is like and what it does to a person, and how it could destroy a person.

Coach Gary shared yesterday on a couple of issues - respecting the parental authority placed over us and about dreams and visions again.

The session we had on dreams and visions at Fort Canning last weekend was impactful, (although I still don't know where I'm going. In fact I actually DREAMT that NUS offered me a scholarship last night. Funky eh? Considering they've not even sent me a letter of acceptance. Lol) and I could just go on and on forever - but everything just makes me so appreciate of the Ministry and of our leaders' stewardship over our lives. Arrow Ministry is totally the best place to be as a youth. :)

Anyway Coach Gary was just sharing, towards the end, last night, about the word provision - and how it is actually two words, pro-vision. And it was an enlightening moment for me. Because when you are for God's vision, when you HAVE a vision for your life, provision follows. In Proverbs (methinks), there's a verse that goes along the line of - 'Without vision, the people perish'. And I think vision is so important - especially to a youth, especially to one in the JC cluster. It is really the NOW word, the rhema word for all the JC youths out there.

Coach shared on how when you have a vision, having that vision, being visionary, knowing and seeing in your mind's eye what you want, this creates passion. And when you have passion, commitment to the cause of reaching and seeing for real what you have visualized, comes naturally.

Without vision, there will be no passion. Without passion, there will be no joy in what you do, and no success.

That is why Coach wanted the JC1s to visualize what they wanted for the A levels - already. And for the JC2s to visualize their careers, their university courses, etc. Because when you can see where you are going, you have the passion to want to get there.

So don't study in shortsightedness.
See your future, see it good, and know that whatever you're doing now - studying seemingly irrelevant things, its because you can see your future, and it is GOOD. And you are going to get there because GOD has gone ahead of you and made it good.

You are made for greater things.
I believe I am called for greater things.
The visions that God has placed in front of me when I close my eyes are visions I can scarce believe, right now, can come to pass.
But if God calls you for something, GOD is the one who will fulfill it.
And He will bring to pass His calling for my life when it is time.

So don't waste the opportunity to LIVE. :)

Anyway, enough serious talk... here are some photos from my 'farewell' dinner with the other RTs whom I'm going to be SO SAD to leave behind because I don't think there'll ever be another opportunity for the 7 of us to work together like this again. The future has very different callings for all of us. But I'm so glad that I got to enjoy this period of my life with them all.

A nice RT portrait of the 7 of us! :) @ Manhattan Fish Market, Central.

Annoying Amitha who hates all these cutesy hand signs.

I really love this picture 'cause I think its so FUNNY! Look at all the boys trying to look suave and us girls looking like we're the coolest babes on the planet.

The cows that Mifa and Maryam bought for the boys (RT FOREVER! Although, of course none of us would actually want to be RTs forever..) Unfortunately Mifa and Maryam didn't think about getting some for themselves.
The green bear is mine!! I loves itttt.

And they got me a whole bunch of really ROFL things.

There's like a hippo stapler (because I borrow everyone else's in the staff room), my green bear, a zebra-pig faced-looks more like a black/white tiger lock thats really cute and BUTTERLY Diva earrings (I'm queen of butterflies... I don't even want to start counting how many accessories I own have butterflies on them).

I really didn't expect this, along with the MEANINGFUL card that KM chose (there were like, a lot of symbolisms behind Why That Particular Card Was Chosen) and everyone wrote in. *was really touched* Felt almost like a birthday. Hehehe.

And all the guys made comments about my VORACIOUS and LOUD laughter in the card.
LOL.

And 16/08 wrote me a beautiful card too. I would post the picture I took with them but I'll like to get the one from 14/08 too before I do that.

I've enjoyed myself. :)
Maybe a bit too much too!

God is just so faithful that I don't even want to say anymore - His love doesn't need explaining. :)

2008-05-06T22:47:00.002+08:00

After the occasional griping and groaning after ploughing through (seemingly) countless essays and grammar, I (almost) cannot believe that this brief, yet amazingly fulfilling teaching stint is coming to an end.

I believe God has placed the desire in my heart to want to be able to reach out to this generation. Youths are like wet clay - whatever we harden into once we're older was shaped in this season, and I see so much hope, such an amazing sense of the future in the eyes of each and every life I get the honour of speaking into. And sometimes even pictures can tell all that.

I came across some of Mom's old photos from her youth some time ago. The most shocking thing that stood out was that back then, Mom still had the smile in her eyes.

Mom still smiles now, but she no longerwith the same confidence, vigour and expectancy that she had when she was young, wet behind the ears and unexposed to the evils of the world and disappointments of life.

Very few of us now, at our age, have lost those smiles.
That hope.
That sense of purpose.
And destiny.
And I pray that the lives I get to speak into never will.

On another note, although I'm primarily not a big Planetshakers fan, this is a really, powerful, awesome song.

Planetshakers - Healer
You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

My Healer, You're my Healer

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

2008-05-02T11:32:00.002+08:00

I marvel at how laden a word like 'LOVE' or 'HATE' can be.
At how letters,
so unremarkable and innocently harmless on their own,
can make or break a man when formed into words which form phrases and sentences and paragraphs and stories.

I marvel at the power that I have at my fingertips to mould or destroy a life.
At the power of the words that roll out of my tongue and fall from my lips to edify or to strike down.
Such power.

And how the unwise choose to abuse it.

He who is slow to wrath has great understanding,
but he who is impusive exalts folly.
The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly,
but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.
(Proverbs 14:29, 15:2)

I marvel.

2008-04-28T08:01:00.002+08:00

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Oh! Precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount' I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

***

It has been an amazing weekend. So utterly filled with Abba's love. So much so that even simple things like breakfast taste even better than usual.

Service on Sunday was wow... worship was amazing. Darlene Zschech from Hillsong Church led worship... and the anointing of God was just so strong in that auditorium.

Miracle Seed Sunday raised over SGD$18 million for the building.
Totally amazing..
We know God is paying for the building. The seeds He gives us are for sowing.

How can anyone lambast the church with the excuse that the church is just out to take our money when it is GOD'S money we are giving back to Him?

The only reason we are blessed and will continue to be blessed is because we have chosen to say thank you with our tithes.

Last week on Miracle Seed Sunday, the first thing that popped into my mind when I woke up was the phrase Pastor commonly uses; "God is not unrighteous to forget your faithfulness", which is from Hebrews 6:10. [For God is not unrighteous to forget or overlook your labor and the love which you have shown for His name's sake in ministering to the needs of the saints (His own consecrated people), as you still do.] (Amplified)

And the Miracle Seed service was one of the most impactful moments of my life. As the service drew to a close and people began streaming up front to drop their seeds into the box, I was just so totally overwhelmed by Abba's love for me. I was holding the envelope in my hand, thick with more money than I had ever dared to hold on to in my life, and Daddy was just whispering into my ear; 'Thank you, thank you for being faithful.'

And all I could do was weep from just that touch of His presence.

It was a very serene, very surreal moment for me.
But the seed has been sown; and it means that when the harvest comes in, there'll be even more to sow back into the Kingdom.

It is pride and vanity to think that the church is just trying to hype things up so people will give to the One-North project. Not wanting to give that money is akin to a small child who refuses to let his parents touch or handle the favourite toy that his parents got him with their money.

God wants the seeds because He wants to give you the harvest.
He doesn't need the seeds.
YOU need the harvest.

You don't go to church because God needs to take attendance and see how faithful you are.
YOU need to be reminded of how faithful God is to you.

And when you're in line with the Word of God - good success cannot help but hunt you down and overtake you, overwhelm you and overflow from you.

I love how Pastor uses the imagery of Luke 6: 38;
Give, and [gifts] will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, will they pour [a]into [the pouch formed by] the bosom [of your robe and used as a bag]. For with the measure you deal out [with the measure you use when you confer benefits on others], it will be measured back to you. (Amplified)

Its like how you always shake a container to try and squeeze as much cereal/biscuits/etc into it. THATS how MUCH God wants to give you. Not just enough. But saturated with blessings. :)

Expect from Him this season - for He gives seed to the sower and bread to the eater (Isaiah 55:10), and seedtime is always followed by the harvest. As Pastor said, if you tell a farmer to sow without expecting anything in return, he'll think you crazy. Likewise, as you have sown, expect even more to come. For as God says in 2 Corinthians 9:10;
Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness.

Just so excited to see God's goodness play out in my life. :)
Awesome.

2008-04-26T09:45:00.002+08:00

HONG QUAN (Mr. Lock) is officially the Man of the Year!
*applauds*

The things he does for the school which isn't even his.
RESPECT YO. :D

Anyway he had a really dead awful fall yesterday during Sports Day and now looks like he slammed into a truck but he's still the Honky we all know and love thankfully!

Anyway, miracle seed Sunday last week was just.. amazing.
It was just such a personal moment between me and God.
I feel so loved. :)

In other news, I got my acceptance letter from NTU yesterday for Communication Studies.

2008-04-18T13:21:00.005+08:00

Today is another self-proclaimed Cheeseball* day**!
* cheesy love songs that make your hair stand involuntarily and that Lizzy secretly (or not so sercretly) loves listening to.
** days where Maryam and I unabashedly wax lyrical about cheeseball songs. Also refers to Aulia's music preference every day.

Alright, so the following's part of my list (so far). I'm sure there are many that have turned me to mush in time past but aren't represented here.

Feel free to contribute to it - I'm ever ready to expand my collection. HAHA.

Lizzy's top 25 cheeseball songs (as far as she can remember, that is.)

25. Billy Joel - Just the Way You Are

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

24. Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight

I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you

23. Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time

If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time

22. Nat King Cole - When I Fall in Love

When I give my heart, it will be completely
Or I'll never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.

21. Bad English - When I See You Smile

When I see you smile
I can face the world, oh oh,
you know I can do anything.

20. Frank Sinatra - The Way You Look Tonight

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

19. The Calling - Wherever You Will Go

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

18. Josh Groban - In Her Eyes

I am not a hero
I am not an angel
I am just a man
Man who's trying to love her
Unlike any other
In her eyes I am

17. Edwin McCain - I'll Be

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth

16. Colin Raye - Love, Me

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you.
Love, me.

15. Edwin McCain - I Could Not Ask For More

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life

14. Rascal Flatts - God Blessed the Broken Road

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

13. Newsong w/ Natalie Grant - When God Made You

Oh I wonder what God was thinking, when he created you.
I wonder if He knew everything I would need,
Because he made all my dreams come true.
When God made you, He must have been thinking about me.

12. Five for Fighting - I Just Love You

I said, Darling, it's late, is everything okay?
And silence took over the room
Till she said,

I... I just love you
Don't know why, I just do
When are you coming home?
I'm coming home soon
And I... I just love you too

11. Josh Groban - When You Say You Love Me

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment,I know why I'm alive

When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?

10. Josh Groban - To Where You Are

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

9. Lifehouse - You and Me

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

8. Savage Garden - Truly Madly Deeply

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do...

7. Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

6. Lifehouse - Breathing

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

5. Jon Mclaughlin - So Close (Enchanted soundtrack)

A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye
And never knew
So close was waiting
Waiting here with you
And now, forever, I know
All that I want is to hold you
So close

4. Elvis Presley - I Can't Help Falling In Love With You

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can't help
Falling in love with you

3. Steven Curtis Chapman - I Will Be Here

I will be here, so you can cry on my shoulder;
When the mirror tells us we’re older, I will hold you.
And I will be here to watch you grow in beauty,
And tell you all the things you are to me;
I will be here.

I will be true to the promise I have made,
To you and to the One who gave you to me.

2. Secret Garden - You Raise Me Up

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up, to more than I can be.

1. Russell Watson/Secret Garden - Always There

When I'm less than I should be
When I just can't face the day
When darkness falls around me
And I just jan't find my way
When my eyes don't clearly see
And I stumble through it all
You I lean upon, you keep me strong
And you rise me when I fall

You are there when I most need you
You are there so constantly
You come shining through, you always do
You are always there for me

When life brings me to my knees
When my back's against the wall
You are standing there right with me
Just to keep me standing tall
Though a burden I might be
You don't weary, you don't rest
You are reaching out to carry me
And I know I'm heaven-blessed

The Top 3 really take the cake. :D
Because they really, really just offer me just a glimmer of how much Daddy God loves me.
Anyway, will post more lists next time...
Have been happily re-initiating myself to music since iBlessed (Lizzy's 16GB iPod Touch) came into the picture.

So anyone else wanna share their favourite cheeseball songs?

2008-04-16T09:20:00.003+08:00

A sorry excuse. (Disclaimer at end. Kindly do not misinterpret.)

This sorry excuse for you
lies upon my back while you are gone -
Soft, fleeting touches on my skin
that accentuate your
absence,
faint wisps of musk that pervade my senses
with every embrace that
isn't
yours.

I lie,

completely cocooned,

sheathed,

in a body that cannot give me
the safety
that I find in your arms.

Each fluid movement of
skin
on skin
is a stark reminder -
that it isn't you

on me.

My own body betrays me.

For although I love you,
I cannot but draw this poor substitute closer
to myself -
a comfort I am forced to take while you are
not
here;

your

shirt.

DISCLAIMER: The above moment of spontaneous brilliance in no way reflects my lifestyle nor personality, but is merely a cheeky drabble inspired by Jason's shirt coming out of the wash.

2008-04-15T19:25:00.002+08:00

Hello. Its been a while.
Time is slipping like sand from between my fingers at a pace that I can hopelessly glance at but cannot do anything about.

So went for the NTU SIC (Mass Comm) interview on Saturday.
Should I get in, I'll then have to decide if I want to pursue my interest in media/advertising and go for it, or continue doing what I'm good at - writing lit/pol sci academic papers in NUS FASS.

Can't say I detest either.
But such is the dilemma when God has blessed you with the ability to do both.

Its Tuesday already.
So many things I would've wanted to blog about that the Temporary Cache in my head conveniently empties at will.

Perhaps one of the most poigant things to have struck me in recent weeks is what Pastor Prince said at the end of service a couple of weeks ago.

He said something along the lines of;

"If the greatest Man who ever lived, Jesus, could humble Himself to die on the cross for you. What reasons do you still have to be proud?"

Who are we to be proud?
All our human effort comes to nought. It is only by HIS grace only that we stand here today righteous.

Why do we persist in trying, as though anything we do can ever save ourselves when He has already completed the job for us?

2008-04-08T12:10:00.002+08:00

I am sometimes too easy to convince.
I must never be allowed within a one mile radius of an insurance dealer.

Mingjie is trying to guilt trip me into playing for Alumni - the same way he manouvered it so that I would 1) play for Mardi Gras albeit with some relunctance in JC1, 2) join band in JC after vehemently having sworn off it after TKGSSB.

Not that it was a bad experience. It was one heaven of a ride, thats for sure.
I think its the inertia thats stopping me.
On one hand I would dearly love to pick up the sax again.
But when you've not been playing for an entire year, the concept of playing all these atypically challenging TJC Alumni Band pieces is daunting, especially for one such as me.

Anyway, have I mentioned that it was only by chance that I finally watched Saving Private Ryan the other night? Unbelievable, after all these years.

It is a good movie. One of those I always try to avoid watching because it wrenches my heart and wallops it around mercilessly.
I realize I'm not very much in the know about movies - because as far as possible I try to avoid serious movies, even though I know they're brilliant.

Lizzy likes shows like "Horton hears a Who!". Which was thoroughly enjoyable, yet subtly political and subversive in its own little, Dr. Seuss way.

Lizzy isn't shallow. She thinks.

But Saving Private Ryan was good.
Yes.

2008-04-05T09:39:00.003+08:00

Things I Saw/Heard at Marche That I Could Not Ignore:

The very LOUD pair who were probably no older than me queueing behind me and Mom. The guy was talking about how he was the one who brought his ex-gf out of lesbianism and she was a possessive control freak. The girl had a strange accent that couldn't decide if it wanted to be eloquent or Singaporean. The guy was the ex-lesbian's 3rd boyfriend after 2 boyfriends and 2 girlfriends. Yes. Thats how loud you were.
The table of people very close to us at which one guy was talking about his reservist mobilization so loudly I could hear every detail about every phonecall, every blackout while on guard duty, and also his voracious laughter which annoyed Mom into venting out her displeasure by mauling the pork knuckle.
The group of lesbian friends also sitting near us which immediately brought to mind bullet-point one.
The hot (and clearly attached) guy whom I messaged Maryam and Amitha about to which their first identical reply was; "Is he Chinese?" as though in silent disbelief that a Chinese guy could ever be hot. Amitha: "Chinese guys can be cute, but hot? I don't think soooo."

And so another work week has ended.
Its amazing how fast time flies.
You wake up before the sun rises.
You work.
You're tired.
You go home.
You sleep.
Repeat for 5 days.
And wonder where all the time has gone.
Every week brings me closer to the end of my stint as a relief teacher.

5 more weeks left. :(

I shall be sad to leave.

2008-04-03T17:00:00.003+08:00

No time for Jesus.

But daughter, I have all the time in the world for you.

I've got work to do Dad.

Don't you want to spend time with me? I've missed you.

There's always work.
In the mornings.
The plethora of emails flood my awakening senses.
EL Dept, Mardi Gras design, Daily Devotion, EL Dept, printing company...
10 mins to class.
I need to prepare Lord.
Daily Devotions. A speed read.
Thanks Lord.

I've got a lot to do.

Design.
Never ends.

Classes to go to.
Am I prepared?

Classes to cover for.
Do I have everything I need?

So God, why I am feeling so empty?

---

Time. Its a choice.

Try living a week, more than a week, without spending time with Daddy.

This.
Is what it feels like.

Dry.
Empty to the bone.
Dusty.
Alone.
Cold.

Get that unnecessary pressure off your back.
Stop shortchanging yourself.
Come back to Daddy's arms. They're reaching out for you.

2008-04-03T14:26:00.002+08:00

TELL ME.
WHY.
Have I allowed myself to be conned into giving tuition in Jurong East??????

This is ridiculous.

2008-04-03T09:35:00.001+08:00

Blogger has mysteriously lost the last entry I wrote.

Oh well.

I feel numbed.

2008-03-27T23:12:00.002+08:00

I've just realized that I never blogged about the fact that Mom bought me an iPod Touch the day before I went to Osaka.

She knew I'd been trying to save up for it for a while. Prices were still significantly steep so I'd decided not to get it.

But Mom loves her daughter too much.

So in the tradition of naming all my electrical applicances.
My sleek new darling, iBlessed, has now officially replaced my still pristine and well-preserved iPod mini, Wasabi.

Been playing FF12.
I love FF graphics.

2008-03-24T11:08:00.002+08:00

Hello. Its been 12 days since I last blogged. I don't get very much traffic these days anyway.
The Osaka and Bangkok trips are over, and I'm having mild holiday fatigue from having too much fun, spending too much money and just enjoying myself thoroughly in general. :D

Time to be good and work for the next 7 weeks before the LA/Tokyo trip.
I'm just really really blessed and fortunate to be able to enjoy my post-A-level break to the fullest. Not everyone gets the opportunity or has the resources to go on holiday so often, and I'm really thankful that my Mom can afford to let me enjoy myself so often, especially since my pay is currently being channeled to an untouchable bank account and I'm surviving on the stale and diminishing remnants of my very first pay cheque. (long story.)

Bangkok is well and truly, the best place to shop and eat I have ever encountered in all my years of traveling. So much so that I cannot believe that I've never visited it before.

Shopping there was just amazing. I cannot even begin to blog about how many new articles of clothing, accessories, bags and other misc items I now own.

Budget traveling and much budget shopping makes Lizzy exceedingly happy beyond all comprehensible vocabulary. *happy*

Osaka was very enjoyable as well, though the shopping there was mostly for glorious Japanese snacks which I have great preference for. Every 2nd food item I bought there was green tea flavoured. *loves*

It was very happifying to eat green tea ice cream, green tea chocolate, green tea puffs, green tea Pocky, green tea McVities, green tea everything.... everyday. :]
Bought back loads of sweet things for consumption.
Then Bangkok satisfied my shopping itch for everything else. (Food in Bangkok is cheap though. Eating at Manhattan Fish Market there costs less than half the price we pay in Singapore.)

So yes. I've been enjoying my life very much.
Envy me all you want, I have nothing to be proud about - I'm just very blessed by a generous God who has given my Mother a generous heart. You can never outgive or outspend God. :)

I would otherwise never have been able to afford the trips and my shopping expenses.

Now its time to save up money to spend in LA/Tokyo. XD

Must make more pilgrimmages to Bangkok to shop.
Being there has cleared the illusion from my eyes.
$10 shirts in Singapore no longer look cheap anymore. :(
(The same shirts cost 100baht ($4.40) in Bangkok. Better prices if you buy more/bargain.)

I think human beings are strange. When we enjoy ourselves too much, we feel guilty for having too much fun. How far the world has fallen. How accustomed we are to condemning ourselves. How used we are to believing that we are not deserving of the good life because we have not worked for it.

There were many times on the Bangkok trip I felt very condemned, because I was once again spending more of Mom's money after she had paid for my Osaka trip/shopping expenses just the week before. I felt bad because I was bringing in income yet not paying for the things I wanted, and with the two trips, more than $1000 had been spent on my person in the past 14 days alone.

Condemnation set in. I felt undeserving. And indeed, I am. I am undeserving of my Mother blessing me with the spending power to buy what I want without having to worry that I wouldn't be able to afford it. I am undeserving of my Mother's love because I am not always a filial daughter.

But you know, my identity is in Christ. And God's beloveds can enjoy the good life despite the fact that they do not deserve it. At all.

We have done nothing to deserve God's love. Christ's death on the cross, His overpayment for our sins, is all His doing. We only receive the gifts that come as a result of this sacrifice. No finger we could have lifted to help would have given us any part to play in our own salvation - except when we raised our voices to call Him 'Saviour'.

I do not deserve to be blessed.
But I am. Very, very, blessed.
And I can only enjoy these blessings because I am Daddy's beloved.

I do not deserve it. But the same way not allowing Mom to bless me monetarily would be an insult to her because she loves me, it is an insult to God when we tell Him we can do it by ourselves when He just cannot wait to unleash the full force of his favour and blessings into our lives.

Mom graciously paid for all my expenses although technically I should have been able to do it on my own because I'm working. Likewise, God wants to do the same when He covers your life with His grace to makes things work out for your good.

If Mom, being human, has so much love for me, what more the love of Daddy God, whose agape love is beyond my minute level of comprehension? :)

I'm just blessed. Thats all I can say.

And oh, yes, the A level results were out a couple of weeks ago, but I didn't have time to blog about it while caught up with the excitement of my various trips.

For the kaypoh people:
H2 Literature - A
H2 History - A
H2 Economics - B
H1 Maths - A
H1 General Paper - B
H1 Project Work - A
H1 Mother Tongue - E
H3 Literature - Distinction

Yeah thats all my subjects, not very interesting I know.
Applying for NUS FASS (probably majoring in Political Science) and NTU Communication Studies. Though I'm pretty much more inclined towards the former.

Hmm.
Just moving on to another stage of life I guess, and enjoying my youth as much as possible. :D
Results are just that, results.
They don't determine my life, nor will I allow a couple of alphabets to define me as a person, or whether I'll succeed in life. Because I have Jesus, and He is more than enough. :)

2008-03-12T22:10:00.001+08:00

Am in Osaka. Forgot to update.

Keyboard here refrains me from my usual verbosity.

Be back on Sunday!

2008-03-05T17:57:00.002+08:00

Days in the office pass pretty fast and bring me closer and closer to Friday.

Anyway, something perfectly traumatic just happened and is probably the most interesting thing to have ever happened to me in the office yet. :S

Was minding my own business having a chat with Mr H at Mr T's table, staring at the fish tank with its array of short-lived fishies attempting to kill each other off like they always do.

And I noticed that Mr T had placed a large piece of transparent tape to cover most of the top of the tank, presumably in case the fish ever decided they wanted to do dolphin jumps and unfortunately find themselves on dry land.

The tape was really sticky, and I was amusing myself with the thought of the fish doing Free Willy leaps and finding itself stuck onto the tape because obviously, if you couldn't get out of the tank, jumping would leave you on the tape.

While absentmindedly laughing to myself amidst Mr H's horror at my morbidity (I mean, yes, its terrible if the fish die. But the prospect of such an unfortunate death, you have to admit, is black humour), one of the fish (all of which spend their time lunging at each other trying to chew each other up anyway), in its bid to escape the evil clutches of another, did a magnificent, noisy leap, managed to miss the sticky tape which covered MOST of the surface area of the top of the tank, and landed on the table right next to my arm, eliciting, of course, what else, but the loudest shriek I could ever be possessed upon to utter while as the same time doing a highly acrobatic leap across the area of the cubicle, as far away from the fish tank as the wall would have allowed me to go.

Mr H turns around, sees the fish, and then proceeds to let out the a shriek not dissimilar to mine. :S

Panic ensues and fishy decides to do its own acrobatic flop from the table and onto the floor amidst much frantic and wild-eyed expressions exchanged between me and Mr H. Clever Mr H picks up a plastic bag. A plastic bag. Well, he picks up the plastic bag after being paralysed long enough to see fishy do a few more pathetic floppy fish leaps on the floor.

Since it was quite obvious that neither of us were going to go near the flopping exhibit despite being armed with a plastic bag, I grabbed the nearest person who seemed most-likely-to-be-less-hesistant-about-rescuing-cold-slimy-moving-creature-from-the-floor.... KM, who was minding his own business three cubicles away.

Hilarity ensues as KM takes over the plastic bag from Mr H and hovers near fish with obvious cluelessness and reluctance. Mr H is frantically shouting in the background: "You just came out from OCS, you deal with the fish!". While the hapless reply from KM was: "Uh.. but I'm not from infantry..." as he attempted, with plastic bag held open, to wait for the fish to flop high enough to land in the bag.

At least one minute had passed since fishy discovered ground-that-wasn't-wet. And while the seeming irrelevance of the entire conversation played out in my mind, tears streamed down my face because I'm a wuss and totally incapable of not tearing under such panicky circumstances.

But anyway, after several attempts, fishy did 'jump' high enough to land in the comically oversized Giant Supermarket plastic bag and KM then did the honourable duty of trying to dump fishy back into the tank from the plastic bag. By then I was quite convinced that fishy would have been quite, quite dead.

Fortunately, fishy was not.

After a mild struggle with the bag, KM finally managed to get the surprisingly-still-alive creature back into its watery habitat, and the poor fella immediately cowered in the corner of the tank, resting heavily on a certain stony tank feature looking quite, quite traumatised. Well, at least I'd like to imagine it looked traumatised since it is, after all, a fish.

Mr H then proceeded to write on the tank in whiteboard marker:
"NO LIZZIE WITHIN 2 METRES." :(

I did nothing to the fish.
But yes, I have developed a phobia of the tank and will venture less into that corner of the office. One can only deal with so many traumatic experiences so many times in a week. :S

But for now, I'm going to check if its still alive now that an hour has passed. :x

2008-03-05T00:58:00.002+08:00

Finally finished Shawn's layout, which I'd been promising him for 3 months.
x_x

Gosh I detest tables.
But somehow I just had to attempt to conquer these horrid <> <> codes and not use my usual div layers instead.

My eyes feel mildly crossed now.

Anyway Shawn and I were having a rather serious conversation earlier, just being real about certain issues. And the entire thing just brought a particular Casting Crowns song to mind.

I believe church is there for us to be real in.
Not to be holy moly.
Not to put on a "Christian front".
But to admit that we are vulnerable. We make mistakes.
We fail.
And thats why we need Jesus.

Casting Crown - Stained Glass Masquerade
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

*Chorus*
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Chorus x2

Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

2008-03-03T21:35:00.007+08:00

Well its finally here.
:)

Matt Redman - Never Let Go
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

---

So expectant of good from Daddy God.

Wheeeee.

In other news, I now have a tutee. Ho humm.

Oh yes, Wy's birthday was on Sunday. Here comes the mandatory camwhoring exploits.

Our dear friend has orangeyblond Sun Wu Kong hair.

HAH! Tried this new place, Mana Mana, at East Coast Park near Lagoon food centre. Zhaoey works there. The ambience is really lovely and romantic, though the food isn't as good as it could be. But the food is VERY affordable for the kind of ambience the place affords, so I guess it evens out.

Lizzy, Rene, WY. With that strange orange juice + milk concoction know as "Governor's Smile" or something that tasted kinda gross.

Us trying to squeeze into the pic. Looks like a bad neoprint shot. All you need is the sparkly decorations.

Attempt number two:

Well, okay yup. Everything else is on the most-addictive-website-on-the-Internet.

Toodles.

2008-02-27T21:17:00.002+08:00

WOW.
Its been really long since I've had to do a layout with FRAMES. Or iframes. Whatever. Hm.
Shall have to go refresh my memory.

Went through an annoying number of drafts for the Mardi Gras website today...
Still have to do the banners and posters.

There are some days you just feel like you've had enough of the world. Of the pessimism that exists around you. And thats when you just throw yourself back into the safety of God's arms and everlasting love.

2008-02-26T22:50:00.002+08:00

"Springtime for Hitler" from The Producers is running through my head.
I love that movie, its crazy.

Anyway, the coalition of relief teachers' attempt at a movie marathon yesterday was quite amusing. With Kee Meng's obsession with war/tragedy, Auli's desire for romance/humour, Maryam's fascination for horror and my need for brainless or fantastical movies, we made quite an awesome foursome. Then Mifa turned up and was utterly aghast at our choice. :P

So in the end, we got Babel because 1) none of us had watched it before and hence could not veto it and because 2) it amusing ended up having uh, several elements of everything.

Except the humour.
What a long Arthousy film.

Very thought provoking, I must say. Quite well executed.
But I don't think I could sit through Babel a second time.

Muses...

Why, do tell me, why is it that we are taught not to dream?
Why are we more enlightened about what we CANNOT do than what we CAN?
Why?

Why does cynicism exist? Why do we choose to give up our pursuits?
Why do we likewise tell others not to dream because we have given up our dreams?

What makes adults any wiser about the world just because they never succeeded in becoming the artist, musician, photographer, writer or movie star their youths wanted to be?

What makes them say 'No you cannot do it' just because they did not even try?

What makes you think of the 99 who fail you won't be the 1 who succeeds?
What gives you the right to make yourself one of the 99?
Do you think the one who finally succeeds would have ever succeeded if he told himself he would be just like those who failed?

Sure not everyone succeeds. For every individual who manages to scale that ladder in the name of Art there are those who have have never even taken the first step. But why can't you be that one? Why NOT?

What gives someone else the right to determine that you cannot survive being an artist?

"Love cannot be taught."
What is life to an artist without his art?

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe." - Anatole France

Why do we teach the young to be jaded just because we are jaded too?
What gives you the right to determine their future even before they step into it?

I'm not angry, but it is definitely frustrating.
How easily we succumb.

"If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream." - Martin Luther King Jr

2008-02-21T22:54:00.002+08:00

EVERYBODY.
SAY HI TO MY NEW TUMBLER.

The colour doesn't turn out that well but the one on the left is really an olive kinda green and its really pretty. I mean, green + butterflies = how can lizzy not get it??

But I really liked the one on the right too. Was deciding between the two but got both in the end cause Jason's going to take the other one. Lol.

Pretty. :)

2008-02-20T22:04:00.005+08:00

Well well well.
It's been an interesting day.
But before we get to that, here's some pictures that Zhaoey finally uploaded from Rene's birthday celebrations.

@Ministry of Food (Marina Square)

@ Timbre

From left: WY, Zhaoey (in green), Rene, Lizzy, Han, Von.

Loves. :)

And today was another lovely day....

Well, until Maryam lost her wallet. We'd gone to Central @ Clarke Quay after lunch for some (window) shopping, but ended up lazing in Starbucks because it just totally felt like a good day/time for lazing... when Maryam realized she didn't have her wallet with her.

Only Maryam can lose her wallet, be dramatic, and still make it into the funniest incident ever. Shall not go into details because all I can remember doing the entire time as we made our trip from Central back to Bedok (which we left not so very long to go to Central) was laughing unnecessarily.

Anyway, we got back to the food centre at Bedok, and my limited Chinese vocabulary was employed to speak to the uncle who ran the drink stall that was closest to the table we were sitting at... and LO AND BEHOLD! He had indeed picked up her wallet, and promptly returned it to her... after taking several agonizing moments to remember where he stowed it while Maryam, Amitha and I held our breaths in anxious anticipation.

Well, I know its very easy to say what I am about to say now that her wallet HAS been retrived, but the entire time from the moment she realized it was gone when we were in Starbucks @ Central to the time we got it back in Bedok, I just knew that we were going to get it back. Because the prayer I often pray in the morning comes back to me - my friends are blessed because I'm blessed. And I'm blessed because God loves me. I pray that my friends will be blessed out of the OVERFLOW of Daddy's love in my life, and therefore things like that should NOT happen. I was angry, not with any human being but with the devil for trying to pull a fast one. But my identity is IN Christ, and I know WHOSE I am. You wouldn't want to try messing with my God. :)

Well anyway, on to lighter things...

THE NEW RANGE OF STARBUCKS TUMBLERS ARE OUT AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM!

*heartssssssss*

Have been using Ice Mountain bottles since Auli accidentally dropped my old tumbler sometime in January... but the tumblers earlier this season were most unappealing to me.

The new ones were launched on Monday (according to my good friend Boo) and they are... *drumroll* GREEN. GREEEEEEEEEN. GREEEEEEEEEEEEN. Okay. Mild obsession, very mild, really.

And they have orange butterflies on them. Its PERFECT. It was made just for me. I know it. =X
Haha. But yes, I really do love it. Going to buy it tomorrow. And getting one for Jason too, another one that I really liked. Er, its green too, of course. Lalala.

Anyway, here's a happy picture. The only downside is that Mifa isn't in it.

From left: John, Lizzy, Maryam, Kee Meng, Auli

Precious, precious people. :)

2008-02-18T21:53:00.003+08:00

Had a rather lovely Monday.
I really thank Jesus for every single little detail he weaves so smoothly into my life... like an awesome Monday timetable for example...

And for the fabulous friends I've found at my job. I know we can be loud and rowdy and I apologise for any trauma/irritation we've caused.. but we really love what we're doing and do take it seriously. Today as we were chilling out during lunch, having 2 hours of brainless fun in Settler's Cafe and having a nice relaxing best-ban-mian-ever dinner, I realize I really do have God to thank for just putting everything so nicely into place, and I choose to believe that He's done it all for me just because He loves me. :)

*insert warm fuzzy feeling here*

Awesome, really awesome. I just sit back and reflect on how God has placed these people in my life, on how He has just made everything work out for my good..

Quoting a Steven Curtis Chapman song, I'm "covered with the fingerprints of God". :)

In fact, the song has really lovely lyrics, so here they are.

Steven Curtis Chapman - Fingerprints
I can see the tears filling your eyes
And I know where they're coming from
They're coming from a heart that's broken in two
By what you don't see
The person in the mirror
Doesn't look like the magazine
Oh, but when I look at you it's clear to me that...

I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

Never has there been and never again
Will there be another you
Fashioned by God's hand
And perfectly planned
To be just who you are
And what He's been creating
Since the first beat of your heart
Is a living breathing priceless work of art and...

Just look at you
You're a wonder in the making
Oh, and God's not through, no
In fact, He's just getting started and…

Yep. You know, regardless of what you think you are, I just want you to know that God sees you perfect. He sees the PERFECTION of the finished work of Jesus, He sees the blood that Christ has already shed for you, and He sees you IN Christ. Means He sees you absolutely blemish free. :)

You are not worthless. In fact, you are worth everything. You are worth far more than you can ever begin to imagine. So don't waste this God-given life.

In our fallen world today, many people are losing sight of their own personal worth. Why are so many people, so many youths, heedlessly taking their lives, giving up their virginity, taking drugs, ruining their bodies, giving up hope... because they do not see how precious they are. They do not realize how precious they are. They do not see their WORTH. They do not see that they are the precious pearl that Jesus gave up EVERYTHING to save. That when He hung there on the cross it wasn't just for 'us'. It was for ME. For Elizabeth Lee Mei Chieh, who has taken the wrong roads, strayed down the wrong paths, and sometimes wilfully, stubbornly chosen to do PRECISELY what God said NOT to do. It was for this Christ died.

YOU are worth far more than what you think defines you. Because you will never understand how much you are worth until you realize how much God loves you. And when you know how much you're worth, you won't give up your life so easily, or your virginity, or your virtue and values. Because you know you're SO above that, that you don't need to give those up to prove anything to anyone. And it sets you free to live.

There's a difference between existing and living.
Don't just exist.

Live.

2008-02-16T23:40:00.002+08:00

Been trying to clear out the stuff I've accumulated from my former days.

Took out the entire box of CDs and and the bag of magazines...
And promptly gave up.

Well really, does anyone really want Point Break's Apocalyptic CD or Westlife's Greatest Hits or Britney Spears' Oops I Did it Again??

And those are the least of my pile.. I mean there's another mini pile of Gackt CDs and the painfully large stack of old jrock magazines with Dir en Grey, Naitomea, Pierrot and whatever not on the covers... along with those large full page spreads of the bands inside.. Miyavi.. BLAHBLAHBLAH...

And there's the Moonchild photobook which cost me close to SGD$100.. or was it more? Can't remember... and another Malice Mizer photobook.. and more more more Gackt photobooks.. BLEH.

Okay, yes, if anyone is interested, please ask me NOW. Cataloging has proven to be quite a challenge, so it'll be easier if you tell me bands/singers you're interested in and I'll see what I have. :S

I'm selling/giving everything at ridiculously low prices so please tell me if you want stuff. The entire jrock related collection is probably worth at least $500 or close to a thousand I'm not sure and I don't think I really want to calculate and find out.

So if you want it, please tell me cause I want it out now that I'm done spring-cleaning. *pokes Dotty*

What else what else..
Oh yes, random BSB/Boyzone/Britnet/Bardot/Hanson/etcetcetc CDs too.
I'm too sheepish to go down the list.

I don't know if I'll be getting rid of my anime VCDs... but I do have Prince of Tennis manga vol. 1 to 16 (or was it 22) that I don't want anymore and will be willing to sell for $10. (Note that the paper isn't new and will probably be the ChuangYi shade of yellow) And the Prince of Tennis VCD vol. 1 as well.. do message me if you're interested, everything is negotiable.. :P

Rawr. Yes. Help Lizzy get rid of the superfluous things that are still unfortunately in her possession. Thank you.

2008-02-13T20:11:00.007+08:00

Happy photos from my birthday.
Those from Rene's (whose birthday is on Friday but we celebrated yesterday) haven't come in yet.

I love these people. :)

And I miss the ones below.

Idly, I realize that we'll never don the puke green uniform again, not officially, that is.
No matter how much we've complained about it... well, it's still part of the identity that has shaped and defined us for the past 2 years, and continues to trigger all the memories that we've come to associate with this school. And how plentiful these memories are.

I'm happy with what I'm doing now.
Its just that sometimes I wish I could do so much more for them.

2008-02-10T23:05:00.000+08:00

Hello. Am quite sleepy now although I suppose I do have quite a lot on my mind I wish to say.

It has been another whirlwind weekend. All weekends are, these days. Coveted days with which you attempt to spend as much time with your NS boyfriend as you possibly can.

I used to find it difficult to believe Agnes when she told me that 'In uni, almost everyone is attached.' But I'm not even in uni and I'm starting to find that it is already true.

Perhaps I've led a sheltered life, where the ones with boyfriends or girlfriends were a minority, but I really dislike fitting the mould and being 'one of those' people who are foolishly attached at 19.

And now I find out for the 2nd time in 6 months that a friend who is but 21 years of age is getting married. It is quite a giddying thought.

I'll say more tomorrow when I'm feeling more coherent.

For now, the bed beckons. Goodnight.

2008-02-09T12:04:00.000+08:00

Time for some camwhoring!

Yes Happy CNY everyone, hope you've had your fill of ba kwa, pineapple tarts and whatever your favourite CNY goodie may be...

The CUTEST. MOST ADORABLE. cousin. Ever. *loves*

And the dog of another cousin. It's the most obedient, nua dog I have ever met. If I had a dog, I want one like that. The nua nua type.

And thats about it. :x
I've to go meet Mr Bala and the rest of the History bunch soon...
Hualalala...

2008-02-05T13:15:00.000+08:00

Darling sent flowers to the school. One day late, but still. :)
Loves.

Anyway, didn't blog earlier on about The Incident That Happened on my Birthday.

Basically, the other relief teachers had been running near my place, and we got back to my place close to 7.00PM, which was the time I was going to meet my 4/6 friends.

So anyway, I was an hour late and only got to Central around 8.00PM. Took 12, which I should have just stayed on because from Lavender it goes all the way straight down to Central.

But nooooooooooooo I decided to be smart, get off, and cab from Lavender, which turned out to be like the biggest mistake ever because it was waaaaaaaaaaaaaay slower than 12, and the best part was that the cab driver didn't even know where the darn building was, and I made him drop me off somewhere much further down in some ulu-ated part of Merchant Road.

So there I was, fuming, annoyed, late... on my birthday.... stomping back to Central going crazy over the horrible surcharges and stupid imbecilic cab drivers...

But you know, what I was really angry with, wasn't the surcharge, or the lousy cab driver, or the bad traffic.. but with myself. Angry with myself for getting off the bus, for wasting $7.30 on a cab.... fuming all the way back to Central.

And there I was. Screaming "URGHHHHHHH God that was $7.30!!!" in my head...
And suddenly God just nudged me and gently reminded me. "Hey, that isn't your $7.30. That's My $7.30."

And I just gradually, started to calm down. I really, really, really, really didn't want to be pissed off on my birthday, and I was already feeling a tinge of vague 'emo-ness' as it was. And God just gently reminded me, hey, its okay, it isn't your money you wasted, its mine. And can I not possibly give you more than $7.30?

A lot of the time we get angry in such situations because we blame ourselves for having 'wasted' the money, money that could have been better spent somewhere else. Get angry because we blame ourselves for the stupid little decisions we make that are wrong.

But God is bigger than our mistakes. I got so monstrously riled up over being an hour late and over $7.30. Isn't God BIGGER than TIME and MONEY? Can He not repay my time and money with MUCH MORE? Not just of quantity but of QUALITY?

And I realized... I was slipping into a 'lack' mentality. $7.30 spent on a bad cab equates to $7.30 less to spend on shopping, or saving. And THE turning point that set me free was that, hey, MY GOD IS BIGGER THAN $7.30.

Yes, it was my mistake, it was my fault. But God is bigger and not just bigger, but WILLING to give me MUCH MORE even though I was the one who had messed up.

That is grace. And it gives and it gives and it gives because the work on the cross is finished. His blood has paid it all. God doesn't see my mistakes, He doesn't point a figer when I foul up. He reaches both hands and carries me into His embrace, into His wholeness, into His safe, stable, large and more than sufficient arms.

:)

LOVESSSSSSSSSS.

2008-02-04T23:28:00.001+08:00

There are some years you enjoy really elaborate, really well celebrated birthdays.

There are other years when you just want a nice, peaceful quiet little catch-up with some jolly good old friends.

This is one of those other years.

And I enjoyed it, very much. :)
In a quiet, rather uncharacteristic sorta way with no pomp and circumstance whatsoever.

Thank you, to everyone who has wished me Happy Birthday, starting with Joel (Ng) up to Andrea (who has insofar, been last) and for those special people who have made this day even more memorable for me.

The ones who gave me Larry the cowsheep and the ones who bought me dinner, cake and gave me a lovely angpow. The ones who tried to surprise me at lunch and I was really touched by. :)

Thank you Jesus.

You know, He just knows what I need, when I need it. Like when I was Sec4, I probably needed it then. The big celebrations and the overwhelming gaiety of it all. I had so much then. And I enjoyed it. Every year my needs are different, and my demands on a birthday are different, and every year God meets them in His own special way.

And I know I'm well loved. And well looked after. :)

2008-02-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

Crazy dreams.

In between coughing out army green phelgm and tossing around in bed at 7.00am in the morning, I had two really bizzare dreams that are already beginning to slip from my mind as I recall them.

The first of which took place in an unidentified shopping centre, I can only remember that in it, Leah working in a little fondue shop in the basement. I was meeting Jason who was with another girl. And he was being all cold and uncomfortable around me and refused to hold my hand or talk to me while she was around. And I clearly recall she perfectly suited the profile of females I'm generally disdainful of.

I probably don't even need anyone to do a psycho-analysis of this first dream. :P
Oh ya then the latter part was funnier because I decided to RUN AWAY. Like run, crying all dramatically and all, and I was wearing HEELS. From the shopping centre, which was like in town or something, all the way home. In my heels. Even in my dream, the saner part of my mind was laughing in disbelief.

Okay.
So I dozed in and out of consciousness.
Second dream... GUESS WHAT! A level results. Lol.

Ms Chew was there. It wasn't even in school. The hall was somewhat hall-ish but it definitely wasn't TJ hall. She was telling me how well I did and how a lot of people didn't do well for the A levels this year. And when I looked at it the first thing I saw was a big D. But apparently in my dream the D belonged to my H3 Lit which stood for Distinction. And I got As for everything except Lit which I got B for. And Ms Chew was saying how I got top script for History (who on earth even knows who gets top script for History?). And I was actually pretty pleased with it and the B didn't even bother me at all.

Guess thats why its a dream. LOL.
Oh well. :)

Amusing stuff.

Pastor Mark Hankins preached today and it was such an anointed message. :) Whee.
One more hour to the 19th year of my existence. Wooo.

2008-02-02T15:40:00.001+08:00

OMGGGG THE RSAF BEAR IS LIKE SO CUTE.

Sis got it for me (Yes she works at Mindef), they're selling it to get money for charity or something.

Oh they sell serial numbers.. I got 504. Don't ask why.

And it even has this array of little badges!!!
And it says 'Above All' below the airplane. LOL.

The flag and its Captain stripes. And its little sleeve pocket. TOO CUTE.

Another shot of it plus the other badge it came with (left paw), although I can't say I know the significance of either. LOL.

*sucker for all things cute and fluffy*

2008-02-01T12:29:00.000+08:00

Accoutrement
But lovers are like umbrellas arnt they?
They're like gloves
They cover you up, they keep you warm
They look so good, they fit so nice
they shield you.
Then you leave them on a train
You think 'How did I manage that?'
And 'I didn't like them anyway.'
Or 'I've lost them.'
Marnia

From 'No Bliss Like This', an anthology of love poems compiled by Jill Hollis that Mifa, Maryam and I have been scouring over like hungry insatiable 19 year old girls.

A lot of it is pretty sad and makes me feel pretty jaded.
But good poetry is there to be appreciated.
Hmmm.

Okay, back to work.

2008-02-01T00:07:00.000+08:00

Went for Switchfoot concert with a giddy head and a frog's voice but the band is AWESOME.
Well, West Grand Boulevard was good too. Got to see these 2 bands twice today since there was the big hype about them being in TJ and all.

Amitha was being such a huge fangirl about it. Quite funny to watch.

Switchfoot rocks for me because I see Jesus in all their songs. Regardless of who is singing to it or whether they realize what they're singing about, every time I hear the songs I know, I know who it was written for, and I see Jesus written so beautifully into these lyrics and tunes, and I can't help but lift my eyes, smile and give Him all the praise that He deserves.

Because at the end of the day, He is still the reason. He is always the reason. And He will always be. I know under most normal circumstances I wouldn't even bother with such concerts, especially those that involve standing-room-only and the dread moshpit.

And I can say the only reason why, is that I can't dance for anyone else. I can't sing for anyone else. I cannot jump to a tune about lost love or how much someone else hates the world. I cannot jump to empty words. Because I have found the only reason worth living for, and it is only for Him that I can give my praise, because dancing, singing, living for Him, is what is truly valuable.

Everything else just pales in comparison, becomes a lousy imitation, when one has seen, felt and truly experienced God's love. :)

These are words that actually mean something. They are not empty words.
They are words that cry out for the void to be filled, a void that the music of the world can only expand but not fill. The void is a vacuum that this world cannot satisfy. As the lyrics of the song Meant To Live go: We want more than this world's got to offer.

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again
- Only Hope (Mandy Moore stole it)

Rumor has it you love me
Rumor has it the world spins upside down
Rumor has it my only hope is you
And the rumors are true
I turn everything over
- I Turn Everything Over

I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me
- 24

When I'm a broken-hearted man
Complacent and tired
When I've been knocked out of the race
I've been a fool for long enough
To fight it, to fight it
It's in Your arms I find my place

You meet me where I am
Forgive where I am

Where I lose myself in grace
(Where I'm lost and found)
I want to lose myself in grace
Let Your love reign down all over me
Cover me
- You Already Take Me There

2008-01-30T20:50:00.001+08:00

Latest news, I have lost my voice. This whole being sick thing isn't funny anymore. -_-

Thank you Jesus that I'm already healed...

Lotsa design work to do now. Happy. :)
I know I'm probably crazy. Funny, since I've never had any intentions of going into the creative line (because its a crazy competitive place to go...) but I'm currently building up a pretty nice portfolio, though my portfolio is branded TJC all over.

After this slough of projects I'm going to start CHARGING for my work.
Yes Shawn I know I still owe you a blog layout. I've not forgotten, I'm just figuring out how to make it 'you'.

But yes, I should charge. HEH.

I want my voice back. :(

2008-01-30T08:50:00.000+08:00

Was sick last night.
Curled up on my bed and waited for the fever to dissipate.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, WY and Rene decided to pop by around 2100h. One can only ignore Rene's laughter from outside my gate for so long so I had to open the door.

Mm.
Its nice to have friends. :)

Throat's still wonky and am still slightly lightheaded.
Limbs still aching.

But work beckons.

So bye bye.

2008-01-28T15:32:00.000+08:00

Shall make valiant re-attempts to make evening jogs a habit.
At least until next week, for Road Run.

Wouldn't hurt to shed some kilos before CNY either.
Oh who am I kidding. :P

Anyway, whirlwind weekend has ended. Jason was out, and I spent more money on cabs/food those 48hours than I did for the whole of last week add together.

Kitz introduced me to this new fangled thing (or at least, new to me) called Twitter. Cramming anything lizzy-esque into 140 characters is a challenge but I'll meet it. ;D

We'll save the emo poetry for another day since I'm actually having a pretty good Monday.
Lizzy needs new hobbies. :D

She wants to learn the guitar, Japanese, German or French, to cook, to sew, to dive, and to make pretty things.

Whee.

2008-01-25T08:42:00.000+08:00

Hello! Another week has passed. :)
The 'O' level results were out yesterday, I do hope my students get to stay because they're a really great bunch of people whom I enjoy spending time with.

The nightmare of my see-saw transition from AC to TJ 2 (or is it 3 now?) years ago seems like a rather distant memory now that the tumult of tears, fears and indecision has faded away and I'm actually waiting for my 'A' level results instead.

Although I have said it many times, I can't help but repeat how thankful I am to God that I ended up in TJ. Every day I appreciate this school more and more, having come here and now, having had the opportunity to teach here.

If I sat down and reflected on all that has happened in the past 2 years, I must say that God's hand of favour and grace has just been so strong on my life, it would be an insult to talk about my JC life without bringing Him into the picture.

Things are never 100% smooth sailing in life but when He said "I'll look after you," two years ago when I took that giant leap of faith to move from AC to TJ, He never disappointed. He's seen me through all the way, and He will never stop doing so.

I feel so patriotic today that its just one of those days I feel like saying that "Yes, I come from the best junior college." Obviously, those who know me would probably fall on the floor and die laughing from a plethora of emotions most associated with 'shock' and 'horror'. Yes, its something I have never said, but I know God has made it the best junior college for me.

You don't have to be in the place that the world defines as 'best', because GOD knows what, and where, and who, is best for YOU. Trust Him to provide that place for you. That is why, I believe, He took me out of AC even though I was in such turmoil over whether to stay or leave, because I had sincerely thought I wanted that 'cool' combination; to do Theatre Studies, KI, History and Lit. To be part of that cool 'English' culture. To be around like-minded people.

After I left, I gradually began to see all the things He has delivered me from. I would never have been able to survive there, and now I know it. Back then I couldn't see it. But don't limit God to your own microscopic vision. Just because you can't see the future, it doesn't mean God can't. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." God has already been to your future, and He says it is GOOD.

So expect good. Today's daily devotion was aptly titled "Expect good things to happen to you!"

---

Expect Good Happening To You!

Ephesians 6:17
17 And take the helmet of salvation…

When the phone rings at odd times, most people think, “Oh dear, it must be bad news.” They don’t think, “I wonder what the good news is that it cannot wait till morning!”

When we hear, “The boss wants to see you,” instinctively, we think, “Oh dear, this is not good.” But how do we know that it is not a promotion?

Our minds are inclined towards the negative. So to guard our minds against negative thoughts, we are to put on “the helmet of salvation”, which is “the hope of salvation”. (1 Thessalonians 5:8)

If you are going through a trial right now, putting on as a helmet the hope of salvation means that you have a confident expectation of good coming your way. It means that you choose to believe that this trial that you are going through is only temporary because God will see you through it. It means that you believe that this difficult period will end with your salvation — your preservation, wholeness, wellness, health and prosperity!

You may not know what is going to happen this week. But one thing that you can do is put on the helmet of the hope of salvation. And tell yourself that you are going to have a fantastic week!

“Well, you know, Pastor Prince, you never know what to expect. We hear so much bad news these days — another flu outbreak, another company retrenching its workers… I really hope that I will not be retrenched next. But I cannot be sure. I am keeping my fingers crossed.”

No, my friend, biblical hope is not “I hope so”, but “I know so”! You can have a confident expectation of good happening to you because you are not like the people of the world. You are a child of the living God. You have a Saviour watching over you. There are more angels given charge over you than there are demons against you. And greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4) There is every reason for you to have a confident expectation of good happening to you!

---

Expect good from your heavenly Daddy. He WANTS good things to happen to you, so believe it! :)

In other happy news, today is book out day. (:

2008-01-21T15:38:00.000+08:00

Waiting
never seems to end
and sometimes you've just gotta pretend
that you're good at waiting and you've done it all your life -
not that it ain't true,
it is.
But you force yourself to be subdued
because you don't want to show
that you're probably the most impatient person you know
who can't wait a week, another week, maybe two -
for someone who actually means something to you.
Patience is key but all I have is the lock
and its just getting harder to be something I'm not.
I know to you it looks like I just don't care
and sometimes you can't help but question why I dare
to try and hide
the shameful truth that I
am pining like a lovelorn fool inside.
I'm trying to shake off this feeling of despair
But although you'll never see it
I do - and it's
there.

2008-01-18T20:24:00.000+08:00

Bugis Street is such a horror to navigate. And all for a couple of belts. Braved it with Mifa today and it was like omgwherearewe? to the tune of blaring techno from practically every single jam packed gaudy stall in the entire vicinity.

*shudders*

Missed SBA dinner. So sorry guys, I was really intending to go, marked it down on my calendar and all. But I'm really mentally, physically and psychologically drained at the moment. Too much bitching for the past few weeks has polluted my system, and I know if we meet tonight we'll probably just bitch the night away as we always do - its a TK thing. Well, not just a TK thing but it being an entire bunch of TK girls, inevitably the bitching will take precedent.

Tired of bitching, sounds impossible eh? But I really am. I just don't feel like talking anymore. *silenced* I've met my word quota for the month. kthxbye.

I want to do something. I'm restless. I want to make something. My fingers are itching to make stuff. Will someone please come up with the name for the TJ Alumni concert so I can start designing?? Or Mardi Gras, or even the drama t-shirt they wanted.
Gimme gimme more.

Just listening to some worship songs now. Do you realize that sometimes, you just really don't want to go to church? Have you ever wondered why some of your friends just always, vehemently refuse to go? It just suddenly struck me, that I'm starting to feel how they feel. Its not because they don't want to go to church, but because going to church brings out the guilt in them. There's Arrow service tomorrow, and I was just reflecting how its only there, in the presence of God (or not even there at Arrow, but right here in my own home, with Jesus) that I can truly be vulnerable. And Pastor Benjamin really has such a calling from God for our generation, that God always uses Pastor to preach so accurately into our lives that the words cannot help but penetrate and strike deep at my biggest weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

And perhaps, this is the reason why many of us don't want to go to church, because we don't want to let down the shield that we've taken so long and strived so hard to put into place. The facade of strength, that we as humans could ever be strong enough for ourselves.

Which we never can.

And its pride, for myself, I know its pride. Pride that keeps me from wanting to be vulnerable, to anyone else. And fear, that my vulnerabilities will reveal the side of me no one ought to see.

I know we all feel that way, regardless of what you choose to think, or not to think.

But come to God with your weaknesses. Because who else can you go to? He takes your weaknesses and makes them into strengths. He doesn't want you to give it to Him just so He can pinpoint you like every other human being just to prove what a lousy person you are. And even if you don't go to church, do you think God doesn't already know your weaknesses?

Coming to His throne, sitting at His feet, being vulnerable in front of Him, is just so He can love you back into wholeness. All your sins were judged on the cross once and for all. He isn't judging you, nor does he punish you. He cannot - for if He did, Jesus' death on the cross would be a mockery. Why come all the way to die so that the one sin you commit can be left out of the equation?

Its only there in His arms can I be vulnerable. Its only there I am safe. I can't rely on myself, my weaknesses glare unforgivingly at me, and all other humans will do is point out the same.

He is the answer, and He will never disappoint.

Anthony Evans
Letting Go
Behind your disguise
I see in your eyes
Something has left you wounded
I don't have the answers
For all of your tears
But you're not abandoned here

He knows where you are
He's been there too
When you can't go on
He'll carry you through
When your loosing hope
He's still in control
He's never letting go

So the damage is done
You try to move on
Still your empty handed
But this isn't your home
I want you to know
You don't walk alone

Of your situation
In the face of the unknown
He's right there
Look deep into your heart
For his reflection and
Don't let go please don't let go

I don't have the answers
To all of your tears
But you're not abandoned here

2008-01-18T07:23:00.000+08:00

Well well well.

It's been an interesting night.
I'm becoming so minimalist with my entries, its not even funny anymore. I need to start writing again. Really, writing.

It is now 11.15AM. And I'm really sleepy because of my very much interrupted sleep that only I can be held responsible for.

'... Mr. Bennet treated the matter differently. "So, Lizzy," said he one day, "your sister is crossed in love, I find. I congratulate her. Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed a little in love now and then. It is something to think of, and it gives her a sort of distinction among her companions."'

RAWR.
I need sleep, books, and some solace.
Most of all, I need Your comforting presence, Jesus.

2008-01-16T10:26:00.000+08:00

Newly revamped Smoke&Mirrors up and running - now back on Blogger after four years.

Was listening to Pastor's "Finding Your Life Partner" series last night, and was so drawn to it that I couldn't stop listening to the whole 3 hours. It made my mild depression slightly more acute. A lot of it spoke to me, in ways that I have tried very hard to ignore for a long time because I just didn't want to face the facts.

Everytime I go back to the Word the message keeps ringing out loud and clear, a message that I've been trying to deafen and ignore. I feel like such a young, fresh and inexperienced idealist. And the truth is, that is what I am.

God, I do not have the strength to do what is needed of me.

I'm only turning nineteen, who am I kidding?

2008-01-14T21:49:00.000+08:00

I feel vaguely schizophrenic when teaching.

Oh well, God's grace is more than sufficient for my shortcomings.

2008-01-11T08:23:00.001+08:00

Hello, I know it has been long since I've actually blogged properly, but with the changes and stuff, I'm still settling in and trying to get a layout done for the big move, not that many of you are probably aware that blank-space.net has gone kapische as it is. :)

Am thinking of re-taking things up with another web hosting provider thats currently offering a better deal, but it'll still be pricey, pricier than the previous one actually, but offering over 300% more space.

Am looking for someone to share it with, if anyone's interested. To cut cost and all, you know.

In other news, life is currently enjoyable, and the weeks are passing and slipping by like running water. Soon enough the results will be out, and I'll find myself in some university or another. Time does pass fast when you're having fun.

Shall leave you with my latest love.
Hillsong United's In a Valley by the Sea.

SECOND CHANCE
VERSE 1
You called my name
Reached out Your hand
Restored my life
And I was redeemed
The moment You entered my life
Amazing grace
Christ gave that day
My life was changed
Went from my shoulders
Fell the weight of my sin

CHORUS
So it’s with everything I am
I reach out for Your hand
The hope that changed a second chance I’ve gained
On You I throw my life
Casting all my fears aside
How could greater love than this
Ever possibly exist

VERSE 2
Consume my thoughts
As I rest in You
I’m now in love with a Saviour
Bearing the marks of His love

CHORUS
(REPEAT)

BRIDGE
So I wait upon You now
With my hands released to You
Where a little faith’s enough
To see mountains lift and move
Yeah I wait upon You now
Dedicated to Your will
To this love that will remain
A love that never fails
(REPEAT 2 TIMES)

YOU REIGN
VERSE 1
What could stand before You
As You chose to embrace
A cross so undeserved You took for me
The wait of sin upon You
When You offered Your life
As You walked the streets of men with fading strength
How could we live
But not see, Your sacrifice, Your glory

CHORUS
You reign, You reign
Over everything Lord You reign
With power and justice divine
Over everything Lord, You reign

VERSE 2
What was Your last thought
As You drew Your last breath
Where the victory was Yours for us to see
And all will know the truth
As we live by our grace
Every praise to You alone
How could we live
But not see, Your sacrifice, Your glory

CHORUS

BRIDGE
You reign
You reign
See now the King of glory
Love of God, become my calling
Father, I surrender
All I am, to You forever
See now the King of glory
Love of God, become my calling
Father, I surrender
All I am, to You forever

CHORUS
(REPEAT)
Over everything Lord, You reign
Over everything Lord, You reign
Over everything Lord, You reign

Bagus. :D

2008-01-04T12:00:00.001+08:00

Time is passing really quickly.

I've only 6 more weeks left at work.

Then when I'm back from my holiday it'll be the June holidays.

And another couple of months and I'll be back in school.

An interesting way to spend a year. Distinctly different from how my education landscape for the past 12 years has been shaped. (Incidentally, Tharman is no longer Minister of Education.)

A nice, refreshing breather, I would say.

Still, it begs the question of how I am actually spending this precious time apart from nurturing the minds of the newly initiated.

Currently, its by playing Final Fantasy XII.

Which I do apart from the marking, designing, designing, marking for at least 5 days a week before enjoying church and spending time with Jason for the rest of the 48 hours that make up a week.

Not very interesting aye.

I ought to be doing more with my time...

Because I have the time.

...

..

.

I want to be engaged in activities that are glorious to Daddy.

2008-01-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

Hello hello. 2007 has passed so awesomely, and I apologize for not blogging.
Its January again, which means domain renewal. Lizzy would now like to take the time to announce that blank-space.net will be closing down. These past 4 years have been a good ride, but needlessly paying $80+ every year for something I'm scarcely using just isn't practical anymore.

I'll either move back to blogger (only because it'll allow me to play around with my layout) or multiply or something.

Oh yes, blessed new year everyone! Expecting so much from 2008.
I'm going back to school tomorrow. Irony of ironies!
I know there are lots of other things I was supposed to blog about, but I was too busy enjoying life, and my musings grow more muted by the day.

I doubt I'll be able to stop blogging for good, words play far too important a role in my life. But things will probably tone down further, not as though they haven't already. :)

Be expectant for 2008 everyone, God's going to move in a big way.
Favour and blessings, rain on me!

2007-12-21T23:14:00.000+08:00

BACK FROM ARROW ADVENTURE CAMP which was so awesome I can't find a better word to describe it.

Wanted to blog about everything just about now but I'm like so tired I don't think I can manage it.
LOL.

Oh gosh JESUS is so so so REAL and so so so GOOD.
I feel so edified, loved, and so many things that the English or any other language's vocabulary will suffice in describing HOW JESUS REALLY ROCKED THE HOUSE DOWN AT CAMP!!!!

ALL FINGERS AND TOES UP to the amazing Camp Committee for enduring all the murmuring during the first 36hours, and for the amazingly dedicated and carefully planned activities and most IMPORTANTLY for uplifting JESUS HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT!

Experienced my SAVIOUR like never before and I know I sound like some crazy hyper freak now but who cares because I'm HAPPY and JOYFUL and full of PEACE because I am in HIM. Filled with HIM inside OUT.
(:

Midnight soon, must sleep, Christmas party tomorrow yohhhhhhh.

2007-12-18T00:28:00.000+08:00

OFF TO ARROW ADVENTURE CAMP FROM 18th (tues) to 21st (fri)!!!

SEE YOU IN A WEEK!!

So excited, and expectant, for so many good things to happen at camp. :)

BYEBYE.

2007-12-13T22:33:00.000+08:00

HULLOHULLO.

I'm so blissfully, satisfactorily tired from having done nothing.
Well. Watching 4 movies, eating pizza, wings & chips for an entire afternoon at Rishik's counts as nothing I guess. :P
You 2008 JC2 peeps, well, you'll get your chance in another year or so. :P :P :P

Anger Management wasn't really what I'll call my kind of show or humour but the ending was pretty sweet nevertheless.
Kung Fu Hustle still gets me cracked up every time I watch it and I've watched it so many times.
Adaptation was LONG and DRAGGY although structurally woven very brilliantly.
Handmaid's Tale was just BAD; no plot development, no character development, no respect for the novel, the very essence of Atwood's so-called-brilliance wasn't even vaguely present. Terrible.
And oh, Shik's siblings home-made 'ghost movie' which was really hilarious and cracked us up alot.

Such a nice, enjoyable, chillaxing day which is one of the very bestest ways to spend one's time after the A levels. (: One of the Things on the 'To Do' list that everyone dreams of doing when the exams are out of the way. Enjoying life the way its meant to be enjoyed. HAHA.

And the girls just talking about how we want our weddings to be on the bus ride home. Leave it to girls to talk about such girly things. Joy joy joy. (:

ANYWAY
LAst night was Server's 'Thanksgiving' service of sorts. THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE.

But still, it was so refreshingly awesome, it was just a personal thing for me, just God's reminder, that the world is periphery to the church. Everything we do in this life, everything I'm living for, its Him. I worry so much about my future, but what for? This life is God-given. The reason I didn't kill myself when I was 14 is because of God. My life is doubly His. And everything I do is for HIS glory. I just needed that gentle reminder. (:

Awesome service and so.so.so.much.food. Unbelievable. The church really pampered us with the food. (:
Practically every conventional meat (except pork since the caterer was halal) from fish to lamb was represented on the spread. I feel so loved. :P No way to love a Singaporean like feeding them good food. HEHE.

Alright.
Going to bed because I'm tired. LOL.
From what eh. No idea.

Goodnight!

2007-12-12T13:35:00.000+08:00

Okay, slept at 5am because I was happily doing my Christmas cards...
Woke up at 10am for no good reason and couldn't get back to sleep thereafter.buggerit...
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Here's a pic, a lot smaller than it looks actually. Its only about 4 by 4 inches give because laser printing is expensive. Well, at least the ripoff place I always print my stuff at in Katong Mall is expensive. And the service isn't even good. :S

If anyone knows cheaper places I can colour print do tell me...

Well anyway, cost price after materials and envelopes not counting manhours lost already comes up to $2.40 per card. Not that I think anyone wants to buy some for friends, they're not all that well made anyway 'cause Lizzy isn't besties with her scissors and penknife. Or rather, the house's blunt scissors and penknifes. Her penknife has disappeared since last Christmas. And Sis lost the large cutting mat (I don't know how that's possible) during packing. So it I had to sacrifice an old stack of drawing block which as usual, Mom refuses to allow me to throw.

So yeah, fruit of my labour~ double layered inside because I don't want to write on black.

And here's a random picture of inter-JC laserquest/games that we played on Saturday. Blues (SAJC/CJC) against the browns (TJC/MJC/MI). Lol. Shak looks, uh, dashing.

In other news.
Went out for dinner/shopping with Agnes and Jaslyn yesterday.
IF anyone's interested, here's my Christmas/Birthday wishlist. :P (so far, lol)

1. Philip Pullman - His Dark Materials trilogy (selling at $40+ at Kino)
2. Neil Gaiman - M is for Magic
3. Khaled Hosseini - The Kite Runner
4. Marvel 1602: Fantastick Four [graphic novel]
5. The brown velvety sweater from Zara, size M [go figure!] ($49.90)
6. Shopping/kino vouchers are always appreciated. :P

OMG I so want to buy so so so many things.
Shall wait for mom to come back from her cruise.
I need, uh, working clothes. Yeah. Working clothes.
(Teaching next year ma, TJCians, you haven't seen the last of me! Buahahaha.)
Okay. Off I go. Christmas card time. Shall go down to my favourite Starbucks at Millenia to chill.

O yeah Gloria Jeans has GREEN TEA FRAP now. Haven't tried it yet. Anyone?

2007-12-10T22:17:00.000+08:00

If Not For Christ - FFH

If not for Christ I would surely fall
Over myself and bear the fault
Of all my deeds so terrible
If not for Christ I would surely fall
If not for Christ I would surely fall

If not for Christ I would surely break
Under the weight of my mistakes
And in my sin be kept away
If not for Christ I would surely break
If not for Christ I would surely break
It was for me He bled and died

It was my sword that pierced His side
It was my name that Jesus cried
When on that tree He bled and died
It was for me He bled and died
And now to Christ I owe it all
He is to me a tower strong
Salvation does to me belong

It is to Christ I owe it all
It is to Christ I owe it all

Finished my Christmas cards! 2 designs.

Preview:

The Christmas tree is a typograph made with the words 'Merry Christmas'.
Some of you will be getting it, uh.. hopefully I remember everyone!
Was intending to sell my cards this year but I don't have time. So.. shrugs. Do tell me if you're interested anyway, it'll probably be around $2 per card if you want it. ._.

Jason's gone off to KL for 5 days. No boyfriend for 5 days. Wonder what it'll be like when he goes NS. Hm hm hm.
We'll find out soon enough... Lol.
Well I have Jesus, and He'll look out for us both. (:

2007-12-07T12:50:00.000+08:00

Hello good netizens of the web.

Lizzy finally has a breather this fine Friday ~~morning~~ afternoon to blog about Prom and everything Thereafter.

I'm running out of space on blank-space.net. Wonder if I should renew it next year. Its costly I must say.
SO, you shall all view the photos from Photobucket. Joy. :P

Kay here's Jason and Lizzy in the cab after spending 396303 hours at Thomas'. He's been cutting my hair for 4 years and always does my Prom hair and makeup. :) :)
Highlights (which cannot be seen in all pictures due to bad lighting) cost me $80, styling my hair and makeup another $80. So it was $160 in total and cost more than my $39 Prom dress (which was still gorgeous anyway) and $29.90 heels. ;P
And if anyone is interested, Jason actually got a decent haircut too. *beams*

So here's my full Prom glory - with Soefie. Soefie is gorgeous even though she vehemently tries to claim she's fat and dumpy, which she is not. She is gorgeous. ;)

And thirtythree without Kenneth because he was shuttling between our table and OAC's.
Everyone looks darn good alright. If they had a best dressed table we would win it. *shameless* LOL. But seriously, all the girls looked absolutely fab, and amazingly none of our dresses clashed. Check out the diversity man. ;) Good for the cameras. And the boys were hot too, of course. Sam was so going for The Man which was so blatantly obvious in Zouk later that night. Funny, funny boy. :P

Our history class boys from 18/06! Our History class has a lot of solidarity can. MR BALA ROCKS. We're sad he's going but he's the best IH teacher anyone could ever, ever have the privilege of having.

History class photo! And everyone shouted all the randomest things when the camera flashes were going off. "Bala!" "ASEAN!" "KOFI ANAN!" We are such nerds.

TJCSB, or the meagre bits of TJCSB we managed to get.
Lol.

And the TKGS SOLIDARITY. W0000000t. Overwhelming response. TK girls have always banded together, much to the chagrin of everyone else who often feel overwhelmed, overpowered and undermined by the sheer volume of noise and presence TK girls shamelessly display. Always knew there were throngs of us in TJ, and not even all of us turned up for Prom so its... pretty scary. Lol.

Then the silly pictures started.

And they didn't stop.
All the way to Zouk, at which I was too bored/displeased to take any photos. I had to listen to teenage pop music all night which the DJ probably condescended into playing because we were all students. And everyone was sucking it all up like good little teenagers because it was fun.

Day after was Jason's turn, so I braved the rain and killer slippers to go to Conrad where they were putting up for the evening.

The boys looking smart.

The girls being gorgeous.

My boy.
Tadaa. Was the usual flurry and rush. Helped with hair (boys) and makeup (girls)... then went to visit Boo in Millenia before going home to crash.

Day after (Thurs), watched Golden Compass in the morning, and it was thereafter another mad flurry to attend Shik's brother's traditional Hindu wedding, which I must say, was a most interesting, hilariously amusingly experience.

More phototaking abounded, of course.
Like Zhenghui said, our class should just hire a photographer to tag along with us. We camwhore so much its not funny anymore. :P

Whee. Okay, and now I finally have time to sit down at home. IRONICALLY. ITS BRIGHT SUNSHINE on the one day I'm home while I've had to tote around my dad's obiang GNC foldable umbrella for the past 2 days braving the wind and rain. Somebody buy me an Esprit umbrella.
AHHH. BRILLIANT SUN. *is tempted*

2007-12-04T10:20:00.000+08:00

GOOD MORNING WORLD!

Prom is finally here and I get it over and done with.
I even had a nightmare about Prom last night. Unbelievable.
Shopping for it has been soooo brainlessly tiring, although, well, brainless is what you do after the A levels.
Such uncalled for frivolity!
*pulls a Mr. Collins*

And as it is my dress is Incomplete with no necklace to go with it - yet.
Going to give my hair some new color later. Will see if I can get Something to go with my dress.

Anyway non-stop Prom shopping for six days has taken its toll on my patience. To think that there would come a day I disliked shopping. Le gasp.
Prom shopping, you see, is quite unlike regular shopping. Where, at leisure, you splurge unnecessarily on expanding your wardrobe. Prom shopping for certain nitty gritty specifics, is most tiring indeed.
For all the walking I've done, I've certainly not bought enough to make all that exercise worth it. (Although I did indulge in getting a casual sundress yesterday.)

Was so shopping-weary that Jason and I finally decided to just sit at home and watch some happy feel good VideoEzy rentals - Hairspray and Night at the Museum. Rather enjoyable I would say. Even though the former had way too much singing (a la broken recorder) with lyrics that went on loop at least 20 times within a song. And it was almost as psychotically happy as Enchanted despite its slightly serious themes.
And oh, I finally found out who Zac Affron is. High School Musical I avoided like a plague.

(Sidenote: what radio station is Dad listening to?? BSB's I Want It That Way is wafting out on the airwaves. Aieee wan eet daaaat waaaaay.)

ANYWAY.
I'm clearing out my room, so if anyone wants like Gackt CDs, Gackt pictorials, Malize Mizer, old issues of jrock mags, and lots and lots of manga that I'm trying to give away, PLEASE TELL ME.
I've also the usual dish of boyband CDs, Britney and whatnot, which if unwanted, shall go to CashConverters very very soon. So please claim them fast. Kthxbye. :D

And oh, Jason says that I've to blog about the Shooting Star.
We were standing in my porch looking at the stars 'cause you can see them pretty well from my house (comparatively, this is Singapore after all) and I can't remember what we were discussing, but as we were looking away, a shooting star hurtled across the sky in the distance, and such a pretty thing it was - as pretty as a hurling ball of light can be, that is. We're trained to think of shooting stars as pretty, so pretty it shall be.
But yes, my first shooting star, whee.

Mm. Prom.
Dec is going to be so busy.
Confirmed so far:
4 - Prom
5 - theressomethingican'tremember.
6 - Golden Compass/Shik's bro's wedding
7 - Caregroup
8 - JC cluster event
15 - Arrow/Band concert
18 - 21 - Arrow ~~torture~~ adventure camp
22 - JC cluster Christmas partaay
23 - Christmas service
24 - Family Christmas party
25 - CHRISTMASSSSS!!!!!
28 - Staff conference

Jan
2 - Start work/school
5 - Jason's birthday
12 - Jason's enlistment (lol lol lol)

Okay that doesn't leave me with much time to prepare for Christmas!!!!!
Must start doing my presents/cards verrrrrrrry soon.

2007-11-30T12:41:00.000+08:00

Am currently addicted to the Enchanted soundtrack.
Its so difficult not to be you know. Even though the lyrics are so disturbing.
I don't think kids should watch movies like these. It confuses them even further.
"See Mom, fairytales do exist!"

Perhaps I'm as cynical about it as McDreamy (Patrick Dempsey), but it was such a nostalgic show to watch. When you're a kid, you live in a magical realist world. At least I did. Then education and growing up happened.

Ever Ever After (Carrie Underwood)
Storybook endings
Fairy tales coming true
Deep down inside
We wanna believe they still do
In our secretest heart
Its our favorite part of the story
Let's just admit we all wanna make it to

Ever ever after
If we just don't get it our own way
Ever ever after
It may only be a wish away

It was such a fun movie though. :P

True Love's Kiss has been running through my head non-stop because its just so annoyingly catchy.

Even though the lyrics are equally disturbing.

True Love's Kiss (Amy Adams)
I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss
And a prince I'm hoping comes with this
That's what brings everaftering; so happy
And that's the reason we need lips so much
For lips are the only things that touch
So to spend a life of endless bliss
Just find who you love; through true love's kiss

It was such a fantastic spoof of every fairy tale I was enamoured with from babyhood.

And the lyrics to Thats How You Know will probably be the bane of every boyfriend/husband and the fantasy of every girl.

Thats How You Know (Amy Adams)
Well does he leave a little note to tell you you are on his mind?
Send you yellow flowers when the sky is grey? Heyy!
He'll find a new way to show you, a little bit everyday
That's how you know, that's how you know!
He's your love...

...

Well does he take you out dancin' just so he can hold you close?
Dedicate a song with words in
Just for you?

...

Because he'll wear your favorite color
Just so he can match your eyes
Rent a private picnic
By the fires glow

Another psychotically happy tune. Whee.

But evidently I'm not cynical enough to be immune to So Close, which is the mushiest excuse for a love song ever and turns me completely to putty. Its one of those I'll-marry-the-man-who-sings-this-to-me songs. Or actually, be prepared to hear this song at weddings. :s

So Close (Jon Mclaughlin)
You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
Now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far - We are; so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

On that note, if you've not caught the movie... WHATS WRONG WITH YOU? Go watch it. Now.

2007-11-29T22:38:00.000+08:00

Pre:

Present:

Post:

2007-11-28T21:55:00.000+08:00

Blahblahblah.

Sleepover at Mifa's yesterday was really fun.
Prom shopping today was bad.
Mom won't let me get a $150 dress.
Really ugly clothes confronted me everywhere.

There's a top I must have from Urban Outfitters. The Isetan I went to didn't have my size but I really hope I find it. It reads "GREEN IS THE NEW BLACK. Save the trees."

And there's this dress from Esprit. But I won't pay $160 for it. (And neither would Mom duh.)

Rawr.............

Tired and cranky now. Lol.
More coherence once Lizzy has had enough time to savour her new, and unfamiliar freedom, to stop, rewind, reflect, replay, read plently of good books and actually post something intelligent.

2007-11-27T11:29:00.000+08:00

Well the A's ended yesterday.
We went to watch Enchanted as a form of academic purging. Perfect movie. :]

Our CPE seemed happier than the lot of us who were ending the A's.
"Okay you may leave, your A levels are over. *BEAM BEAM BEAM*"

Us: *dazed and confused, strolling out of seats*

Well, I'm just leaving the entire thing in God's hands. I can't do anything about it anymore. So its 200% Jesus now.

So, I have my 'life' back now. What shall I do with it.

2007-11-24T22:12:00.000+08:00

In case there's any self-respecting Singaporean out there who hasn't seen it, here's the irony that is MDA's top management rap.

Ps. It is not a parody. Nor a satire. Though for a lot of us, it was a 'eureka' moment that explained a lot about the current state of local media as well as the need for responses in the form of Royston Tan's 'Cut'.

Very enlightening indeed.

2007-11-17T12:23:00.000+08:00

STARDUSTTTT.

Okay had a really #$%knsk?? day packing my room/books/house/etc/etc/etc and breaking in lungfuls of dust. Jason was a darling and helped me even though anyone who sets eyes upon my mess will be fully aware of how big a M.E.S.S it really, truly, honestly is.

18 years accumulating rubbish and having to even throw things from my primary school days away was so not very, very fun.

But he tolerated it anyhow though I must reiterate that it was really an unfathomable amount of thrash.

Went for dinner in the evening with Mom (so we could stop breating dust) at Billy Bombers and had yay yay yay Vanilla Milkshake which was lovelovelove until dessert when Ben&Jerry's cookie dough ice-cream came and Vanilla Milkshade, to my horror, wasn't sweet anymore.

But yeah first time I got pwned by sweet stuff. I'm normally very, very good with my desserts. *nods head enthusiastically*

But one can only take that much sugar at 9.45PM and I had to sit for 128mins of awesome awesome Stardust.

(Excuse the bimbo flippancy my house is covered is dust, we're renovating and packing like we're moving and its not fun fun fun at all sitting in all this dust and mess and having to resolve issues like throwing things away when mom keeps rumaging through your rubbish and taking out things that should be thrown away while nagging at you for keeping so many things when you have so little space OXYMORON I've lost all sense of punctuation like Mr. Bala.)

STARDUST.
Claire Danes is pretty pretty pretty. Michelle Pfeiffer is a good Lamia. Well I mean, Lamia isn't good but you know what I mean.
The changes they made to the original novel served the movie well, unlike some others (AKA THE PSEUDO DARK IS RISING COUGH COUGH). Robert de Niro is hiiiilarrrrious, and the ghosty brothers were such awesome comic relief.

It was good, good goood. I enjoyed it much. (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:

You must catch it, whoever you are.

Sanity abandons.

ONE MORE LIT PAPER LEFT. Bwahahaha.

And they can't even leave me in peace and have to renovate the house now.
And they're gonna be renovating right into December grah grah grah.

2007-11-16T10:10:00.000+08:00

Whee.WHEEE.WHEE.WHEEE!

HISTORY IS OVER!!!
THE paper is over!!!
I don't know why all of us were so riled up over History.
Maybe because Bala is an awesome teacher and it was the most unpredictable of the papers.
It was like war in the Hall.

One more to go! 26th.
*3rd world dance*

2007-11-14T11:23:00.000+08:00

Both the secular and Christian music scene is blessed to have Carrie Underwood.

So Small
Carrie Underwood

Yeah, Yeah

What you got if you ain't got love
The kind that you just want to give away
It's okay to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith

Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small

It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole
While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count cause you can't get it back

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
Oh, and when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And then you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Oh, it sure makes everything else seem
So small

Yeah, yeah

2007-11-12T23:42:00.000+08:00

Lol. Did this picture quiz on Facebook. (Yes, don't blast me, I'm tired. And econs. Is econs.)

Temperament
Flexible
Nothing seems to bother you - you sail through life crisis free. It's not that your life doesn't have its ups and downs, it's just that you handle everything without unnecessary drama and antics. You approach each day fresh, not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. You are confident that you can handle anything that comes your way and experience has shown that you are absolutely right about this.

Interests
Simple
You are continually pursuing a simpler and less complicated life - you don't allow yourself to fall victim to all of the "should do's" that society continually bombards you with. You are thoughtful about your life choices and think in terms of yourself, others and the world in which we live. You have a great sense that we are part of something much bigger and we must be good to others, if we want others and the world to be good to us.

Amusement
Thoughtful
You are easily stressed out and overwhelmed - you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Because you tend to be self reflective, you know your limits quite well and must remember to not exceed those limits. When you overwhelm your life with obligations and responsibilities, you tend to shut down and go into yourself even further. Take some time to find your serenity and kick back your feet.

Passion
Traditional
Your notions about romance are viewed as unrealistic by many, but don't let that stop you. When you think of romance, you think of huge gestures of commitment, sacrifice and love like we see in the movies. Flowers, chocolate, and wine are just some of the ways to your heart. You want to feel loved and treasured by your partner and you expect to be courted, admired and hotly pursued. You long for old fashioned dating.

I'll like to think its all fairly accurate.
Though being 'crisis free' and 'easily stressed' seems somewhat oxymoronic.
Rather true, nevertheless.

Tired.
Goodnight.

2007-11-11T23:00:00.000+08:00

God is good.
Normally go for 2nd service.
Jason and I try to get tickets, go for breakfast, and get seats for the rest of the caregroup (who go for 2nd).
Was kinda late today. And tickets disappear with greater alacrity when Pastor Prince preaches.
Jason was earlier and messaged to say that the ticket he got was for the '6th' bloc. (aka the very last bloc of available tickets). Silently I asked God to 'reserve a ticket for me' because I didn't want to join the main queue.

I arrived around 10 to 15mins later, saw the table still open (it closes once they finish giving out tickets), and went up the escalator. Honestly, I didn't think I would be able to get a ticket. Yeah I asked God for it, but how much I believed it was really negligible. I saw a number of people going to to the table. And I hesitated, I stood at the escalator, hesitated, once or twice. And finally walked to the table.

Lo and behold, the server was holding one last ticket (Golden Ticket!) which God reserved just for me. (: As the lady stamped my hand and the guy passed me the ticket, he just said, 'Wah last ticket, you're very blessed ah!'

All I could do was give a goofy grin. God is so good.
'See I told you the ticket was yours.' said Daddy with a measure of gleeful pleasure.

God has such a lovely, loving, affectionate sense of humour. (:

Lit, Econs, Econs, History.
THEN STARDUST.

Well. Its The Week. The bulk of my papers.
Jesus, Your grace is more than sufficient for me.
I may not study as much, as hard, as long, or as thoroughly.
But You are my glory and the lifter of my head.

A Psalm of David. The LORD [is] my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death,
I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Psalm 23

2007-11-06T10:06:00.000+08:00

On My Cross - FFH

How wide is Your love
That You would stretch Your arms
And go around the world
And why for me would a Savior's cry be heard

I don't know
Why You went where I was meant to go
I don't know
Why You love me so

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That pierced Your hands and Your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down

And just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
After You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross

How deep is Your grace
That you could see my need
And chose to take my place
And then for me, these words I'd hear You say

Father no
Forgive them for they know not what they do
I will go
Because I love them so

2007-11-05T22:30:00.000+08:00

One must write to survive.
The suppression, though it takes its course like slow, molten lava,
Will still burst forth eventually.
The taste of words on my fingertips
Is an answer to a hunger that only expression will satiate.
Cogs creak from disuse and rust falls almost nonchalantly
As the mind churns with diffiulty to remember
Half-alien, yet almost familiar phrases.
A silver of uninhibited excitement courses through veins
That have almost forgotten the tangy aftertaste of sunshine,
The flavour of a rainbow,
Or the melancholy of emotion.
A burst of colour, barely sufficient to showcase the imagination
Is all my insufficent words can and will reveal.
Yet I would rather write,
Than live in the monogamy of this gray prison.

2007-11-05T01:14:00.001+08:00

Chris Tomlin - The Way I Was Made

Caught in the half-light, I’m caught alone
Waking up to the sunrise and the radio
Feels like I’m tied-up, what’s holding me?
Just praying today will be the day I go free

I want to live like there’s no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one’s around
I want to sing like nobody’s listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I’m not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

Made in Your likeness, made with Your hands
Made to discover who You are and who I am
All I’ve forgotten help me to find
All that You’ve promised let it be in my life

I want to live like there’s no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one’s around
I want to sing like nobody’s listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I’m not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

Ohhhhh
The way I was made
Ohhhh
I want to live like there’s no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one’s around
I want to sing like nobody’s listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I’m not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made
I want to be the way I was made
I want to be the way I was made

2007-11-02T20:31:00.000+08:00

NO MORE SEA!!!! I think Mr H must be pretty pleased with himself over the AFC question.
Oh well. Joyjoy.

Okay since we're at it, if anyone want any of my subject notes do ask early. Lawl. =x

Anyway...

Does anyone want tuition or knows anyone who needs/want tuition from 2008 onwards? Am planning to tutor (for $$, of course, not that I'm broke or anything) sec/jc level History and English (and Lit or Social Studies if you'd like). Credentials: O level History (A1), O level Literature/SS (A1), JC Prelims: Literature (A), History (A).

Do tell me if you're interested, preferably living in the East, or meetups in central areas acceptable.

(And here I am smack in the middle of my A's.)

But SEA is over and I'm happy!
5 more papers but 24 more days! Gee.

2007-11-01T23:12:00.000+08:00

You can never silence the voices of the oppressed.
Or of those who know that Apartheid is wrong.

"Weeping"
Josh Groban (feat. Ladysmith Black Mambazo)

I knew a man who lived in fear
It was huge, it was angry,
It was drawing near.
Behind his house a secret place
Was the shadow of the demon
He could never face.

He built a wall of steel and flame
And men with guns to keep it tame
Then standing back he made it plain
That the nightmare would never ever rise again
But the fear and the fire and the guns remain.

It doesn't matter now it's over anyhow
He tells the world that it's sleeping
But as the night came round I heard
It slowly sound
It wasn't roaring, it was weeping
It wasn't roaring, it was weeping.

And then one day the neighbours came
They were curious to know about the smoke and flame
They stood around outside the wall
But of course there was nothing to be heard at all
"My friends," he said, "We've reached our goal
The threat is under firm control
As long as peace and order reign
I'll be damned if I can see a reason to explain
Why the fear and the fire and the guns remain."

It doesn't matter now it's over anyhow
He tells the world that it's sleeping
But as the night came round I heard
It slowly sound
It wasn't roaring, it was weeping
It wasn't roaring, it was weeping.

Say ah, say ah, say ah
Say ah, say ah, say ah

[Ladysmith's solo]

It doesn't matter now it's over anyhow
It doesn't matter now it's over anyhow

It doesn't matter now it's over anyhow
He tells the world that it's sleeping
But as the night came round I heard
It slowly sound
It wasn't roaring, it was weeping
It wasn't roaring, it was weeping.

Say ah, say ah, say ah
Say ah, say ah, say ah [to end]

2007-10-30T23:08:00.000+08:00

A Word to Husbands by Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.

GP TOMORROW.
Whee.
We're all madly excited.

2007-10-25T09:34:00.000+08:00

Daily Devotions

---

Only One Thing Is Needful

Matthew 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

George Müller, who lived in the 1800s, cared for more than 2,000 orphans in his five large orphanages. But he never allowed his huge responsibility to take him away from the Word of God. He said that every day, he would set aside time to study the scriptures until his inner man was happy in the Lord.

Once, Müller met a man who worked between 14 and 16 hours every day. He told the man, “You are destroying your health. You don’t have time for your family, and most importantly, you don’t have time to nourish your inner man with the Word of God.”

The man replied, “I hear you, but I can’t see how I can cut down my working hours and spend time on the Word because even with the 14 to 16 hours I put in each day, I still can’t put enough bread on the table for my family.”

As the man walked away, Müller said, “He doesn’t believe that if he seeks God’s kingdom first, God will take care of all his needs.”

Likewise, do you really believe that every day, only one thing is needful? Even if the bills don’t get paid, the children are not making any headway in their studies and the office work is not completed, all these things can wait. Only one thing is needful — that you spend time in the Word of God.

You will not lose out when you take time to sit down and listen to God’s Word. Even your health and well-being, and that of your loved ones, will be blessed because you choose to set aside time for His Word.

Jesus said, “… seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” He did not say that all these things will be given to you, but added. To be given means that you receive what is enough. But when things are added to you, you get more than enough!
---

Off to school for GP.

2007-10-22T23:41:00.000+08:00

Hello again (A blog entry, already? Le gasp).

Well, the A's will be knocking on (many) of our doorsteps next week.
I'm sure most of us can't wait for it to be over as much as we dread its eminent arrival.

All of you probably have your own struggles and challenges; the A's really isn't small to us now because we're engulfed by the reality of our circumstances.
Many of you out there are probably stressed, worried, fearful. Ridden with nightmares, plagued in your waking and sleeping hours with many questions such as 'what if... I fail/I can't remember everything/I misread the question/Nothing I study comes out' and 'if only... I had worked harder in JC1/Paid attention during tutorials/Bothered to read the newspapers/Consulted my teachers often'...

But I've just sat through a really, really fantastic weekend of GOOD FOOD from Pastor Benjamin and Pastor Prince, and I just wanted to encourage you guys, since I know how real the perpetuating fear can be at this point of time.

But as children of God, you have absolutely no need to fear. Its unjustified.
As one of the daily devotions recently read; face it - if God can't help you, what makes you think you can do any better? And the saddest part is, God isn't only able to help you, he is more than willing to help you. He's just waiting for you to stop trying to help yourself and turn to him.

You know why you're gonna do well? Because you are a descendant of the King. As Christ is right now in Heaven, so are you in this world.

The hardest thing many Christians seem to grapple with is the infamous, almost irritating 'disclaimer' statement that simply goes, "Have faith".
And how do you 'have faith'?

The simplest way is to have a good opinion of God.
Why can you believe that you are gifted in wisdom?
Why can you believe that even though you don't know the answers, your papers will still find favour in the sight of the markers?
Why can you believe that you are supernatural and don't have to rely on what people of the world need to get good grades?
WHY live like you have no God when you have one who is more than capable, and more than willing to sandwich, smother, saturated and suffocate you with all the goodness that he can't wait to pour on your life?

Why limit God to human understanding? Why can you not accept the fact that God wants you to do well and He can make whatever little you have studied work for your good because He is a good God? Because you are not God!

Stop limiting God - He is bigger than you can imagine, and you can never, ever finish comprehending his magnificence and love for you.

So have a good opinion of God, because it is in his heart to bless you. CHOOSE to give thanks. Forget the 'what ifs' and the 'if onlys'. Stop saying 'But, I didn't study hard enough, I brought this upon myself. I don't deserve to do well.', 'I only studied this much. My teachers say my input = my output. I'm not going to get the As I thought I could get when I first came to JC.', 'I was never consistent the past 2 years, I failed my prelims, there's no way I'm going to jump 5 grades'.

Hello, are you God? Do you believe He wants you blessed? Do you believe He wants you to do well? Take my suggestion and start if you haven't. It's crunchtime, its a week to the A's. Its the best time to turn to the only one who can help you. And really, if you deserved it in the first place? Why do we need grace? Why did Jesus even come to die on the cross? It is an insult to Him, that He came to take away not only your sins, but your condemnation, and your guilt, and to give you the same POSITION as Himself at the Father's right hand in Heaven, to make you the heir of the world if you're not going to claim it?

Self-pressure, stress, peer-pressure, parental pressure... what are you trying to do, kill yourself? It does.not.work. Some people think the fear motivates them. WHY, really, rationally and logically speaking, drive your blood pressure up the wall, give yourself grey hairs and take a few years off your life, pimples onto your face, wrinkles to make you look 5 years older, when you can just rest in His finished work?

If we were perfect, if we deserved the blessing, then Jesus died in vain.
As Pastor Benjamin said on Saturday;
If you can see the invisible, you can believe the impossible.

What you believe? What do you see?

The word 'sin' in the original Greek means 'to miss the mark', anything that comes short of the glory of God. And what is the glory of God? It is to have a good opinion of Him. Don't miss the mark out of disbelief. God has equipped you with all the wisdom and grace you need to succeed in this realm.

Excerpt from yesterday's Devotion:

Mark 11:24
Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.

A blind lady was led to a great healing evangelist for prayer. After he had prayed for her, he asked her, “Now, tell me what you see.” She opened her eyes, only to be told, “Close your eyes. Tell me what you see.” She tried opening her eyes again, only to be told, “I didn’t say to open your eyes. I asked you what you saw. Close your eyes! Now, tell me what you see.”

This went on for a while, until the lady realised that the evangelist was asking her what she saw on the inside. Did she see herself seeing? When she understood that, she said, “I see myself with sight.” Then, the evangelist told her, “Now, slowly open your eyes.” That moment, she opened her eyes to perfect vision!

When you prayed just now, what did you see inside you? Were you praying for someone’s healing but that person in a coffin? Were you praying for a financial breakthrough but the banks pursuing you till you are bankrupt?

Many people don’t get what they pray for — they get what they believe they receive when they pray, because Jesus said, “Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.”

“Whatever things” includes everything. And believing that you receive them comes before having them. Jesus once told a centurion, “Go your way; and as you have believed, so let it be done for you.” And the centurion’s servant was healed that same hour. (Matthew 8:13) The centurion saw his servant healed. He believed that he had received his miracle, even before it came to pass.
--------------

Believe it, and it will come to pass.
And Pastor Prince preached on Sunday a really, really glorious message on the power of speaking. As a Christian, you really have no idea how much power there is in your tongue. By His death on the cross, Jesus has made you a King Priest. And you know what that means? The words from a King's mouth have authority. The words from a Priest's mouth has power.

When you say 'I will fail', you will fail.
This is not motivational speaking. This is the power of the risen Lamb of God in your mouth.
Non-Christian can utter positive utterances to themselves till they're blue in the face and still die of cancer. They can will themselves into believing that staying calm, doing yoga and herbs will cure them of cancer. But they will not see wonders and miracles the way you will because DADDY WANTS YOU WELL. HE wants you WHOLE.

I myself had a really bad throat through the week, my mouth was riddled with multiple ulcers, and one of it was conveniently situated at the back of my tongue. The pain was so sharp that I couldn't open my mouth, swallow even my saliva or talk without excrutiating torture, given that this champion ulcer was but one of many. Any food that entered my mouth had to be liquid before I swallowed to risk minimum tears leaking from the corners of my eyes, and I was even tempted to go to the doctor (an activity I have not engaged in for over 8 to 9 years).

At Arrow service on Saturday, it was so bad that I could barely open my mouth to worship, it hurt just to move my jaw. But I really wanted to worship Him, because I knew that my healing was in Him. I just kept thanking Him and worshiping Him, I could feel His presence but my mind was on the pain because it was just so present. All through worship it was there, through Pastor's praying, through the message... and then, as the service closed and we sang the last song. I suddenly realized that I was singing. And it didn't hurt.

It didn't come immediately, I wanted the healing so badly during worship, when it really engulfed my senses, and the area of healing has always been contentious for me because I hardly fall ill, and most of the time I wait out the course of the sickness. But this time the pain was so bad that I just couldn't wait any longer.

And God hears you when you ask, when you take from Him. During worship Pastor kept saying that God was in the place. And I just kept saying, 'I know you're here, and I know that if you're here there's no way I'm not gonna be healed. No way that I'm not already healed. You can't possibly be here holding me and comforting me and not heal me. I am the healed of the Lord.'
And it just hurt all the way.
But God is faithful even when we are faithless. Don't depend on your own faith. Just have a good opinion of Him, know that HE wants to bless you. And He loves it when you take from Him. Just like Mary, who had 'chosen the good part, which will not be taken away from her.' (Luke 10:42).
He pours into your hunger, the more you want from Him, the more you ask for Him, you enlarge the pool that He is able to fill.

Stop limiting God.
The A's are here, or the O's. Or any trial or exam.

Say it outloud, make the devil mad.
Proclaim that you are the righteousness of God in Christ.
That you are a success, that you are intelligent.
That whatever you study will come out.
That God will show you the right topics to study (face it, you cannot finish studying everything).
That as you write your papers, the right words will flow.
That as you lay your hand on those scripts before/after the exam, that favour will be upon all that you've written, blind the examiners if necessary, let it be a blessed script that will get high marks - not because you deserve it, but because your God is an awesome God.

Have a good opinion of your Daddy. Because it is His heart to bless you.

Enough of 'I will fail', 'I don't deserve it'. Yes. You don't deserve it. Neither do I. But I know, that I know, that I know, that He is my success and my wisdom. That MY FUTURE CANNOT HELP BUT BE BRIGHT. I may have done well for a few subjects, but I don't want to let my faith be in that, because then I'll have to maintain it on my own. I just want to REST in His love. Because its safer, and better, and so much more refined and precious in His hands.

As we study in this last lap, lets study knowing that He has already given us the VICTORY. Study from rest, not out of fear, not out of stress or pressure.
Live the God life.
He has already made us heirs of the world.
We are in this world but not of this world, we don't need to live like the people of this world.
Don't live like you have no God.
Claim your inheritance.
You ARE the righteousness of God in Christ.
And you are DESTINED to reign.

2007-10-20T13:36:00.000+08:00

Blogging in Starbucks means I don't know if any nosy imbecile is leaning over to watch my life unfold. Another week has passed. A lot of drama this week, which still makes me indignant to think about.

I'll refrain from expounding on it though I've had a lot of time to intricately refine my unhappiness in my head.

The A's are just two Tuesdays away (can't stop staring at this poseur lesbian pair in front of me who are only sec4 and dressed as though they're about to walk down Hollywood Boulevard) and I'm still calm as the eye of the storm.

It'll be over soon enough, another month or so.
(The We-think-we-are-hot-but-I-think-you-are-so-not employees of Precious Time and peeking out again. Do they even get any business? Seriously? I never seen anyone buy anything from there and I study here so often.)
Mrawww.
GP on 31st.
Math/SEA on the 2nd.
And soon it'll be H2 Lit on the 26th. Whoopee.
Econs...
Rawr.

Words unassociated with my academic material seem to have dissipated from my mind like an insubstantial peagant.

...

I want my brain back. :S

2007-10-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel so uninspired when I type in this little white box that I think upon the day when I stop blogging. (Le gasp!~)

I think, it will be long from now. If ever. Unless the internet goes out of fashion, or something.

Many mullings today. Was flipping through an old copy of New Paper from last month. As we all know, New Paper is tabloid trash. Many dead people make it to the front page.
It was about 2 Chinese Nationals who had been involved in car accidents, given up the ghost as well as the Singapore Dream.
There was an article, most solemnly penned by a clearly emotive journalist, about whether we, as Singaporeans who possess the much coveted pink IC, truly appreciate the card which we irritably queued to receive after our 15th birthday.

I suppose a lot of us take things forgranted. Never again will I ever allow the comment that 'History has taught us nothing' to float so nonchalantly past me. History has taugh me so much. It has opened up my virgin and ignorant eyes to the world. Lips that said in Sec4 that I couldn't give a rip about politics and was the most stubbornly apathetic fool on this planet are now silenced and awed by the nature of international relations.

Yes, many of us complain, so much, about Singapore.
And most of the time, these are the people who truly are empty vessels making the most noise.
I have learnt to appreciate so much about Singapore. Our governance, the PAP.
They are not perfect, but before you open your mouth to unleash a torrent of dissatisfactions, face it. They're the best we've got. Its quite unfortunate, the type of culture we've come to built.

Singaporeans are champion complainers. In some ways its endemic to our Chinese/Asian 'culture' of choosing to say the bad even in light of the good. For some reason, people never seem to enjoy getting praised.
"Wah you lost weight ah!"
"No la! Its the shirt!"

"Your son very smart ah! Got straight As!"
"No la, very stupid ah, he very lazy ah!"

Singaporeans are so bad at being gracious. And likewise so bad at receiving grace. And likewise, equally incapable of appreciating what they already have.

Much of it would be empty words. Oratorical champions, talented journalists and juvenile bloggers may tell you to appreciate the fact that you can sleep soundly in your bed every night, its possible to study in Starbucks, leave your belongs at the table and go for a meal and your items would still be safe when you return, that you live in a blissfully air-conditioned nation, have a McDonalds at every turn, yadda yadda.

But its something you catch for yourself.
And after so many years of being proud of not knowing or giving a hoot about anything out of my personal stratosphere, I'm glad to be able to read the papers and appreciate the complexities of ASEAN's role in the Mynmmar, UN's limitations, and the nature of Burmese politics in general. I'm glad to be able to read about Hamas in the West Bank and Gaza, and truly appreciate why 'Rejoice O Israel' brought the Foreign Minister to tears.
That song, is beautiful.

Likewise, in church today, Pastor Josh was preaching while Pastor Prince was away in London, feeding many hungry souls the truth of God's grace.
The hunger is so strong where they can't get him every week.

For us, each Sunday we nestle in the comfort of those plush red chairs. Some of us fall alseep, others leave halfway.. yet many of us persist in queueing. Sometimes we don't realize how so very blessed we are to be able to hear the Good News preached so succinctly and gloriously to us each and every week while others would gladly come to Singapore to sit in just to listen to Pastor preach in person.

Even as Pastor's books are hungrily snapped up in the UK, and Pastor preaches to thousands who just want so very much to soak up the message of GRACE. We shouldn't forget how so INFINITELY FAVOURED to be here in Singapore, to belong to New Creation Church, and to be part of the GRACE REVOLUTION.

It is amaaaaazing. And I just can't wait to see what more God's gonna do.
With the church, through the church, and for its people.
Awesome.
Really awesome.

And oh, Jason finally introduced the rather sua ku Lizzy to the wonders of an 'EQUALIZER' (wuzzat?) that exists in iTunes. Yes. I'm really sua ku about this.
Pirates of the Caribbean sounds so shiok now.

And the new Casting Crowns album is nice, yo.

"Prayer For A Friend"
Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You
Complicated circumstances have clouded his view
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

I fear that I won't have the words that he needs to hear
I pray for Your wisdom, oh God, and a heart that's sincere
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You
My best friend in the world, I know he means much more to You
I want so much to help him, but this is something he has to do
And Lord, I lift my friend up to You

'cause there's a way that seems so right to him
But You know where that leads
He's becoming a puppet of the world, too blind to see the strings
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
My friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You

"East To West"
Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

Have a blessed week everyone. (:

2007-10-11T20:30:00.000+08:00

Ugh. Remind me never to study with Soefie again. :P
She spent most of the afternoon distracting me.
I can't believe we watched all the Luke and Noah bits of 'As the World Turns'.
Its all Dinah's fault. And Soefie's. Of course.

Barely finished..anything.
When are the A's again? Oh right - 31st.
It's the 10th now. Would panicking be a good idea?
I doubt so. It cramps my style.

Was reading Ahnaf's blog - because Soefie was reading Ahnaf's blog. Not that he's my bosom friend or anything, but a most entertaining and cherished aquaintance.
He is such a diva. So hilarious.

At Gloria Jean's again. Soef and I just consumed a whole slice of Chocolate Royale. It is quite, quite heavenly.
For those of you who've not yet tried Glora Jean's..
Iced Chocolate is lovely. :)
Scones are fresh and just the right texture. And they're only $2.00.
Sandwiches (quality ones) are only $3 to $3.50.
The higher quality gourmet sandwiches are also very palatable.
Quiche is good - and less than $4.00.
Salads are nice. (: Less than $4 too (for potato or pasta). The greens cost $6+, which is ironic since they're just made of, well, lettuce mostly.
(Chocolate makes me lose my vocabulary. Warble warble.)

But 'tis gooood. Cheaper than Starbucks. And I'm in love with the comfortable silence of this outlet. Sure the emptiness doesn't say much for business. But this place is Daddy's gift to me man. :D

Oh yea. We celebrated Dad's birthday on Sunday at Kushin-Bo.
OMG. It's totally yummmmmmmmmy. I could eat sashimi and green-tea icecream all night. :]
So totally worth the extra 1kg that confronted me on Monday morning.
(It is gone now, in Jesus' name. Ahem.)

The jangles they have when they have their half-hourly 'specials' is really annoying - and its amusing to see people rushing like crazy for the special 'deals' like bits of lobster or crayfish that they give to the first 25 people or something. Quite, quite funny.
But overall a really enjoyable foodie experience.

One that I can only take in moderation though.
As much as I adore Japanese cuisine for what it is.
(Jason and I been trotting down to MOF and Azabu Sabo lately. Desserts make Lizzy high and happy. :D)

Okay back to Balance of Payments. W00h00. Joy..
I feel woozy, saturated and mildly top-heavy from Chocolate Royale.. Mmm.. so rich..
*flops into a headachified puddle*

The state our minds are reduced to when the 'A's are fast approaching. :S
It functions in a completely different dimension altogether. :S

Ohh. Jason's back from dinner. :D

Laters.

2007-10-09T10:58:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to blog and get out of here.
Yes I didn't go to school today, not so much out of a oh-my-gawd-I-have-no-time-to-study-and-school-is-wasting-my-time attitude but a sleep-is-good-and-I'll-really-like-to-get-~~some-alot-of-it~~ mood.

So. Came online to blog and chao.
BUT.
How can anyone come online without going to FACEBOOK??
So yes. I've been distracted for a good forty minutes.

But I've had a lusciously wonderful time sleeping. :]

Time for another photo entry. I love thirtythree. Why are we always behaving as though we don't have 'A' levels to sit for?

This time it was Nef's birthday.

We gave him a bear which he is still being mercilessly teased about today. ;P
(Moral of the story: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.)

And a hamster wheel. (Inside joke about the hamster that runs tirelessly in his head just to keep him going.)

And food. (Of course.)

We had Embarrassed-Looking-Ken for most of the night.
And many Bear jokes.

Many, many photos as usual.
For a camwhoring lot. ;D

Dinnering @ Marche.

Cow @ Marche. Its so funny. We wanted to take a picture with the cow. And all we have its its butt and lil' red tail.

And whats a birthday without some minor malu-ation. :D

Sakina has most of the nice shots but she hasn't sent them to me (HARUMP).
Most of the ones here are Mifa's or Shereen's.

Okay last happy shot.
:D
LOVELOVE.

On to a separate note, was just reflecting on the nature of relationships.
They're so.. materially expensive. Let's not even delve into the emotional or psychological aspect of it, but, yeah, it is. (For him, more than for me, materially, that is.)

It's quite amusing to be attached at eighteen, and doing everything that perhaps grown-ups do. (It's not that we ain't 'grown-up', but when you're school, everything else becomes an anachronism, or you become the anachronism, at least.)

To me, dating is the process you engage in in preparation for marriage. I know that's not the case for many out there, and I'm starting to see the logic behind it.
And that is why they don't encourage us to date at our age. Because you're obviously not going to get married in a couple of years are you? Unless, well, accidents happen.

We live as though we know everything,
Yet I say - we know nothing. :)

Maturity is subjective. And having lived 18 years, I doubt I'm in much of a position to talk about it. But its funny, being attached, having a boyfriend. Living from day to day, not knowing where the future will take us, but excited to get there anyway.
The dreamscape stretches out before us, so much potential untapped.
So much more of a life to live.

And I'm talking about LIFE here. So many more places God hasn't taken us, so many more opportunities to do His will. And I know He's moving in me already. Taking me places I've scarcely been able to dream of.

Its a week to a year.
So much I have had to change, in my mind, about relationships.
In many ways I realize my naivety. In so many ways I am still growing. In so many ways, I am still eighteen. It is not too young an age to be.
In other societies I would have surpassed adulthood by a mile.
In mine, I've had a bonus ticket, an extended childhood. A space in which I could pretend I did not need to grow up.

But the Lord grows me, and He never fails me, and I'm just so excited about what this life is going to be, what is already is. :)

It's wonderful to have a purpose for living.
And nothing can beat the feeling when you're living for Him.
Because your future won't be dependant on you.
But in His grace and promise of a hope and a future.

2007-10-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

Marrysong
Dennis Scott (1939 - 1991)

He never learned her, quite. Year after year
That territory, without seasons, shifted
under his eye. An hour he could be lost
in the walled anger of her quarried hurt
on turning, see cool water laughing where
the day before there were stones in her voice.
He charted. She made wilderness again.
Roads disappeared. The map was never true.
Wind brough him rain sometimes, tasting of sea -
and suddenly she would change the shape of shores
faultlessly calm. All, all was each day new:
the shadows of her love shortened or grew
like trees seen from an unexpected hill,
new country at each jaunty helpless journey.
So he accepted that geography, constantly strange.
Wondered. Stayed home increasingly to find
his way among the landscapes of her mind.

---

One of the PC poems for Lit (Paper 1) Prelims.
I think it maps the female mind quite pleasingly.

Been looking at some of the questions from other JCs for Lit and History (Don't know where Rannald gets his goods). Some of them are really funny.

Oh well.
The new album from New Creation Church is out.
I See Grace.
It is.
TOTALLY.
Awesome.
Thats all I can say. (:

Words fail me, a lot, these days.

2007-09-28T23:46:00.000+08:00

I am so, so blessed...
(Really really tired now, after caregroup. It was awesome as usual though.)

My grades are really a testimony of HIS goodness.. and there I was, two entries ago, complaining about my Lit and Int' History papers...

God is so, so, so good to me. (:

Ran called me 'Miss Lucky' and even Mr Bala himself said 'You addressed (the relevant stuff), I don't know if you actually knew you were doing it or were unconscious about that fact but somehow you got it'.

It would look pretty insulting to my 'intelligence', but you know, if they can't believe or don't want to believe I did it, all the better - Its all God. :)

Given my mad last minute juggle between H3 and the Prelims...

All I can say is, GOD IS A GOOD GOD.
I'm awed.
And so totally loved.

And really tired now.
MMmmm..
Saturday.. sleep in.. sleeeeeeep.............

2007-09-24T15:51:00.000+08:00

Hullo. Camping out at the airport at the moment.
1st post-Prelim-back-to-school-day.
Ken's sitting opposite me rubbing his eyes and looking bored/pained.

Anyway, service at the indoor stadium yesterday was fantastic. Sis did a nice cool dance, and everyone around me was going 'That's Lizzy's sister'.
And they sang Chris Tomlins' version of 'Amazing Grace' after service. Awesomeness. I love that song.

Well the Prelims ended last Thursday as I said.
And Friday was supposed to be our 'lets-go-celebrate-the-september-birthdays' outing, but since Sakina was the only September baby who turned up, it was more of a 'go-crazy-after-Prelims' dinner outing.

The boys looking cool.
(From left: Ken, Ran, Sam, Shik)

PS. Ken's current status is: asleep. Too lazy to throw anything at him.

Don't have a group shot at Manhattan Fish Market. But here's a few silly ones anyway.
PS. The food there is good, better than Fish&Co actually, I reckon.

I like. Although I didn't really like my salmon. I have high standards for salmon (especially after you've been to Norway!). The rest had really nice food though. Even the rice was fragrant - and I'm generally not much a fan of rice.

Soefie face: LE GASP! :O

Two of my bestest friends, whom I'd like to imagine would one day get married. :P But they claim thats wishful thinking on my part and vehemently deny it unto death. *giggles*
ITS NOT JUST BECAUSE BOTH OF YOU ARE INDIAN. Cough.
(From left: Mifa, Shik)

Good food = happy boys.
(From left: Ran, Sam)

And after dinner we were just being silly as usual. Haha. We took a photo at every red traffic light with different cameras. (We were walking to the Esplanade from PS to take flash photos on the rooftop and annoy every snogging couple in sight).
Here's mine:

Soef and Ran are going to kill me for this shot (especially Soef, she claims I have the largest collection of 'unglam' Soefie shots in existence).

We have a lil' internal joke about the both of them being Mr and Mrs Bennet. =) =) ... :D:D:D:D:D

*insert chortle here*

Anyway, it was walking to the Esplanade that was the amusing part. I hadn't laughed that much for ages before Friday.
33/06 is the epitome of the phrase "Its the process and not the destination that counts".
Cause we pretty much didn't do anything when we got to the rooftop. :P

Almost there!

On the roof, with scary eyed Shik.

Gay boys..

Shik being scary again.

Lying around trying to behave like delinquents.

And a final parting shot which we got the mata man to take for us.

LOVELOVE. (: (:
(: (: (:
I can't thank God enough for blessing me with these people.
:D

And since we're on camwhoring, here's Jason too.

All taken with Mom's pretty new Ixus camera. Bagus!

Alrighty.
Just wanna encourage everyone to read today's Daily Devotion.
YOU have the mind of Christ.
YOU will NOT forget what you need to know for the exams.
EVERYTHING you need to know will be RECALLED to remembrance.
YOU. ARE a success. Because JESUS has died to make you one.
Not by your own efforts, but because HE LOVES YOU, and it is HIS GIFT to you - completely undeserving, but 100% all YOURS.

2007-09-20T17:02:00.000+08:00

Okay. So the Prelims are over.
Of all the major exams I've ever sat for, ironically it was my A level Prelims that I was least prepared for.

In case you're wondering why (which should come as no surprise), the magic word H3 should spring to mind right about now. :)
Today was the final submission deadline, though we handed ours yesterday.
GOOD LORD. I'm so glad its over.
It's like throwing the One Ring into Mount Doom. An insufferable Poe-esque gloom has lifted off my shoulders.
Now I can really study. (What joy right?)

Bala's International History paper today.
Insert silence here.
Yesterday's lit paper... I probably misread the entire PC poem. LOL.
Dark Chateau indeed.
"Its the sub-conscious and the conscious!"
"Its the dark recesses of his mind!"

And what does Lizzy see?
"Er.. he's trying to decipher the night-time landscape."

This whole psycho-journal thing is so overrated. =X

Okay. So I came home and slept. Most of the rest are in town watching Ratatouille.
Had a good nap. :)
Am happeh.
Whee.
...

Gonna take a break over the weekend..
Then full speed ahead!

2007-09-17T10:57:00.000+08:00

Every day I sit here in Millenia Starbucks watching the world go by. Literally.
Expats and accent ridden locals sit here dissing the latest 'stupid investor', 'stupid company', or arguing over how to up their game.
Finances and businesses fly past me by the dozen.
One of the most amusing conversations was a dinner & dance meeting being planned between a creditable bank and an over-enthusiastic-with-bad-taste potential host whose ideas were as cheesy as cheesy gets.

Juxtaposed with the Poly students who appear in the afternoon with their laptops with nothing else to do but surf Youtube and play PC games.

And the wonderful Starbucks staff who have been so obliging to us students who have literally parked our asses here each and every day.

Familiar faces greet me. We can identify the staff by characteristics.
I am ashamed to say I ahve not made the effort to know them better.
Save for Edwin who is a jolly good fellow.

Moving along.
I'm sure those of you who actually read the papers would have realized by now, that New Creation Church has acquired a lovely building in one-north. :D
Its so awesome.
Pastor was going through the break-down of funds during service, and its estimated that we need to raise another $120 million in the next 3 years to pay off the building.

In the natural that sounds like a really large sum of money, but we are so blessed now that we have the priviledge of saying; its only $120 million.

God has blessed us so much, what is $120 million to Him? Furthermore, when He expands our borders, He will HAVE to expand our finances such that we can pay for the building.
He has blessed us with the land, how can he not bless us with the resources?
And this is so exciting because it means our parents, and us, can expect so much more. Because the money will have to come to us so that we can give to the building out of our overflow. Can't wait to see all the miracles flowing in. So awesome. =)

And God is so, so, so good.
When He gives, He does't just give. He gives with style.
Like our Marine Cove investment, seriously - no one is dissing the church now because the land is bringing money into God's kingdom.
Now with the new building, it isn't just a CHURCH building.
God could have just given us land for us to build a self-contained church for ourselves.
But no, he gives us a whole shopping centre, he gives us prime land, and the best part, he gives us an auditorium we can make money out of.

He really EXPANDS our pockets, and He expands our Spirit to let us receive so much more.
To meet our needs AT THE RIGHT TIME.
8 years ago, New Creation wouldn't have needed this building or would have been able to afford it.

But like the children of Israel in the dessert for 40 years, their shoes never wore out but grew as their feet grew.

God is expanding our shoes for us, and its effortless, and its all HIS.
If He has given us the building, He will give us the money.
When I look at the business decisions made and the opportunity that has been presented to us to invest in such a profit-reaping deal, I can't help but say IT MUST BE GOD.
Because the wisdom of Man would not be enough. The wisdom of Man would be satisified with just a mere plot of land for us to build a church building on.
Rock @ one-north is so much more. :)

My God is a good God. Woo.
Can't wait to see all the goodies coming in, can't wait to see the manifestation of my bounteous, loving, humourous God in front of my eyes.
He's got a real sense of humour - and good taste too. (:

edit 1.15PM
Sis gave me the link.
Why do I persist in doing such things? :P
Well the analysis isn't entirely untrue.

You Are An INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.

Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.

It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.

But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards.

You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings.

At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak

What's Your Personality Type?

2007-09-08T11:38:00.000+08:00

GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE! THE EARTH SAYS HELLO!!!

Right, another morning at Millenia. Its Saturday already. Joy joy joy!
Lol.

Oh yes, forgot to mention that I finally tried the famed Munchy Donuts that 8Days actually gave a higher rating than Donut Factory. (Not that I've tried Donut Factory. If anyone is willing to queue for it for me, I'll gladly accept it. :P)

But Munchy opened in Millenia just this past Monday. And after walking past it every day with every resolution to try it, I finally did.

And well. For a 4 star (or was it 4.5?) 8Days rating, it was mighty disappointing.

Bought 6.
The only one that I really liked was the Green Tea Choc with Red Bean Cream filling. (I'm not being biased here just because its green tea okay).
The choc + cream filling: Okay, sweet, fairly acceptable.
Dark choc: FAIL. COMPLETELY FAIL. WHAT DARK CHOC?! Don't buy this, your regular neighbourhood donut will taste better.
Choc + peanut butter filling: Only discovered the peanut butter after nearly demolishing most of the donut, okay, nothing fantastic.
White choc and cinnamon: Okay. Nothing fantastic either.
Cookies and cream: Okay, nothing spectacular either.
Jason bought some garlic cheese one which was basically just bread with cheese. O_o I don't think you can consider this a donut.

No oomph from anything except the Green Tea and maybe the Choc + Cream.

Well I haven't tried the choc + banana, which is one of the favourites I hear.
The thing about donuts, see, is the texture... and I think the texture of Munchy's was quite disappointing. Green Tea might have been really nice because I bought it early and had it almost immediately, while I only savoured the rest after I got home.

But I've tried Sweet Ring donuts (its from some neighbourhood, I don't know where my Sis gets them, they're just your regular sugared donuts but the texture is so so so so nice even after you leave it overnight) and personally POP DOUGH is still the nicest to me.

Pop Dough is in Takashimaya, near the Haagen Daaz and Venezia ice-cream outlets. (:
If you like Krispy Kremes, Pop Dough is the closest you're ever going to get to those glazed donuts in Singapore.
And they still taste good the next morning. ;)

Summer House, (which I talked about last time) which is somewhere in the ulu-ated Burlington Square but has an outlet at AMK Hub, also seemed - to my recollection that is, to have tasted beter than Munchy's too. :S

But I'll still buy the Green Tea one, and I'll try the rest of the flavours before I sign it off as being overrated (though I can't help but think it is, already. The appalling excuse for dark choc lingers in my memory).

Alrighty.

Back to work.:D

(And oh on another note, I want to go back to AMK Hub to try to youghurt thing. Similar concept as the stuff Sis and I tried in Aussie. Has anyone tried it?)

2007-09-07T13:59:00.001+08:00

It amazes me how many morons I've already met being in Starbucks for three hours.

As much as I'm tempted to make them sound even more interesting than they already are by harping on their moronic behaviour, I shall constrain my inner bitch and refrain from doing so.

In any case, Agnes sent something really heartening in the mail just after I blogged the last entry.

Practicing the Presence
by Max Lucado

How do I live in God's presence? How do I detect his unseen hand on my shoulder and his inaudible voice in my ear? A sheep grows familiar with the voice of the shepherd. How can you and I grow familiar with the voice of God? Here are a few ideas:

Give God your waking thoughts. Before you face the day, face the Father. Before you step out of bed, step into his presence. I have a friend who makes it a habit to roll out of his bed onto his knees and begin his day in prayer. Personally, I don't get that far. With my head still on the pillow and my eyes still closed, I offer God the first seconds of my day. The prayer is not lengthy and far from formal. Depending on how much sleep I got, it may not even be intelligible. Often it's nothing more than "Thank you for a night's rest. I belong to you today."

Give God your waiting thoughts. Spend time with him in silence. The mature married couple has learned the treasure of shared silence; they don't need to fill the air with constant chatter. Just being together is sufficient. Try being silent with God. "Be still, and know that I am God" (Ps. 46:10 niv). Awareness of God is a fruit of stillness before God.

Give God your whispering thoughts. Through the centuries Christians have learned the value of brief sentence prayers, prayers that can be whispered anywhere, in any setting.

Imagine considering every moment as a potential time of communion with God. By giving God your whispering thoughts, the common becomes uncommon. Simple phrases such as "Thank you, Father," "Be sovereign in this hour, O Lord," "You are my resting place, Jesus" can turn a commute into a pilgrimage. You needn't leave your office or kneel in your kitchen. Just pray where you are. Let the kitchen become a cathedral or the classroom a chapel. Give God your whispering thoughts.

And last, give God your waning thoughts. At the end of the day, let your mind settle on him. Conclude the day as you began it: talking to God. Thank him for the good parts. Question him about the hard parts. Seek his mercy. Seek his strength. And as you close your eyes, take assurance in the promise: "He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep" (Ps. 121:4 niv). If you fall asleep as you pray, don't worry. What better place to doze off than in the arms of your Father.

--

And I think this was actually someone's email signature, but I think it summarizes everything so completely. (:

"Blessed are those who hunger and thrist for righteousness, for they shall be filled."
Matthew 5:6

Be filled my friends. Its the best feeling, the closest to Heaven, you'll get on this Earth. (:

2007-09-07T10:14:00.000+08:00

Haha. I think political songs are amusing.

Two Weeks From Twenty
Yellowcard

Jimmy wasn't really popular
He had a couple of friends back home
And sooner or later they're all getting out so he had to join up alone
He was dreaming of the ivy league since he was only three feet tall
And get the hell out of jersey and then he would never look back at all

And then you hear'em say
That miles away
We lost another one that we sent with a gun
They're gonna miss him he was two weeks from twenty and there's still no shame
From the man to blame

Jimmy never had a reason to stay
Cos all the factories shut down
All he had was a line for his name
So he could sign away his right to be proud
He tried to kiss her on the way out the door,
She just put her little hand on his face
I don't understand why you're leaving, she said
But I hope your gonna ask me to wait

And then you hear'em say
That miles away
We lost another one that we sent with a gun
His lady missed him, he was two weeks from twenty and there's still no shame
From the man to blame

Jimmy's mother went to Capitol Hill
So she could fill her heart up with joy
Maybe shake a few hands while she's there and tell them thank you sir for taking
my boy.

And then your hear'em say
That miles away
We lost another one that we sent with a gun
His mama missed him he was two weeks from twenty and there's still no shame
From the man to blame
No there's still no shame
And we're all to blame
We're all to blame
We're all to blame
We're all to blame

Alright, gonna get out of the house.
Millenia again. Its a pretty nice place.
H3 is back. Mostly cleared, minor edits. Woo hoo hoo hooooooooooooo.
*lizzy's happy*
Thank you JESUS.

I miss talking to Daddy.
Most of my time is spent in front of this screen making notes these days.
Gosh I've been using MS Word so much I now have the habit of clicking Ctr+S here in Blogger. LOL.
Yeah. I miss reaaaaaaaaaally soaking up the Word and just being so so so so secure in His embrace alone. I know He's always with me each and every moment, but I just have't been truly enjoying the sweetness of His presence, you know?

Yea.. time to go. :)

2007-09-05T19:54:00.000+08:00

Wow. This is a really beautiful rendition of Amazing Grace.
I'm not a big Chris Tomlin fan, but this is really lovely.

Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)
Chris Tomlin

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine

You are forever mine

2007-09-04T10:53:00.000+08:00

Okay, wow, so I had a blah night trying to finish my H3 evaluative commentary. Shall not bore you with elaborations. Had to wake up later today cause I went to bed late, and tadaaaaaaaaaaa, guess what appears in my inbox today.

Daily devotions:

No More Sleepless Nights

Psalm 127:2
It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep.

“I was up the whole night — my boy was running a high fever.”

“I slept only for two hours — I was trying to improve my presentation.”

“I couldn’t sleep at all — I was worried about the bills that are piling up.”

The Bible says that God “gives His beloved sleep”. Who are His beloved? You and I! Because we are in Christ, we are His beloved. (Ephesians 1:6; 2 Thessalonians 2:13)

God says, “It is vain for you to rise up early; to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows…” In other words, it is pointless to worry and lose sleep because the truth is, “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.” (Psalm 127:1)

You see, God is the one who builds your career and guards your marriage. He is the one who watches over your children and future. He is the one who guards your bank account, and watches over your financial investments and business ventures. You are not the one!

So don’t worry and stay up late as if you are the source of the increase or the one who has the power to make things happen and save the situation. God is the one and He says to you, “My beloved child, throw that care, that burden, to Me and go to sleep.” For when you are sleeping, He is working on your situation. He, who neither slumbers nor sleeps (Psalm 121:3–4), works the night shift for you as you sleep!

But because we are such doers and performers, it is hard for us to let go and let God take over. But when we actually do, casting all our cares, anxieties, worries and concerns once and for all into His hands, we will see how He cares for us affectionately and watchfully. (1 Peter 5:7) We will see Him taking care of our problems and working things out for our good. (Romans 8:28)

Beloved, trust your Father’s love for you. Cast your cares on Him and have no more sleepless nights!

This is especially important for all of us now, in this study season. I know everyone is fearful about not having enough time. Time, time, time.
But you know, if you worry about time, then you're a slave to it. But God has defeated each and every enemy at the cross - including the lack of time.
If God has made you to crush satan underneath your feet, what more TIME?
You are not a slave to time.
Time is a slave to me. I am not a slave to time. As Christ is, so am I in this world. ;)
God is my time. And it will never run out.

2007-09-03T10:50:00.000+08:00

Today's Daily Devotion:

‘I’ll Have A Large Revelation Of Jesus!’
2 Peter 3:18
grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ…

In the Old Testament, three types of burnt offerings were brought to God. The rich brought offerings of young bulls (Leviticus 1:3), the not-so-rich brought sheep (Leviticus 1:10) and the poor brought turtledoves. (Leviticus 1:14) Though of varying sizes and value, the different burnt offerings were all accepted as sweet aroma to the Lord. (Leviticus 1:9, 13, 17)

These burnt offerings speak of Jesus and His perfect work at the cross. Today, to bring a “rich” offering means that you have a large revelation of Jesus and His finished work. To bring a “not-so-rich” offering means that you have a smaller revelation of Jesus and His finished work. But whatever the size of the revelation you have of Jesus, God accepts you just the same because Jesus is your only measure of acceptance before God.

However, God wants you to grow in your revelation of Jesus because your well-being hinges on it. On that first Passover night, all the children of Israel had received the same Word of God “when I see the blood, I will pass over you”. (Exodus 12:13) But I believe that some households lived through that night trembling in fear as they heard the loud wails outside their houses, while other households rested on God’s Word, ate their Passover lamb and enjoyed the night rejoicing in His love, protection and deliverance for them.

You see, as long as the households came under the blood, they were all saved, trembling or not! But when they didn’t have a revelation of the power of the blood to save them from the destroyer, fear came in even though the blood availed for them. In the same way, God does not want you to struggle through trying times with fear, apprehension and stress. He wants you to enjoy and rest in a greater revelation of Jesus as your deliverer and salvation.

In 2 Peter 1:2, it says, “Grace and peace be multiplied to you…” God wants you to experience more of His grace and peace in your life. How? The verse continues, “… in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord”. The more knowledge of Jesus you have, the more God’s grace and peace will rest on you!

***

The more you know of our Lord, the less fear you'll have. You're already a success, because of His finished work. You cannot, by your own efforts, become any more or less successful in your life by what you do.

BUT when you have a greater revelation of His love, you'll be able to enjoy your blessings with such greater peace without having to have worried unnecessarily!

(:

Another morning at Millenia Starbucks.
Another day with Jesus.

2007-09-01T21:04:00.000+08:00

WHEEEEEEEEEE.

We had inter JC CG frisbee today. TJ/MJ/MI lost spectacularly but it was still really enjoyable overall. (: (:

Played at Marina Bay, the other teams were really strong, and honestly we weren't really good at it. Only Keng Guan was really zai, Anand had never played it before but he put up really good defence (being tall is a definite advantage). Xin En played really well too. Haha. And well, Agnes was just really funny. Her shrieks rang out every single time the frisbee got within an inch of her airspace.

The last group we played against was JC South. SA/CJ I believe. They were so fast that they scored their first point within the first 20seconds of the game and the whole thing ended way under 8 minutes. Lol.

Still, I had fun. :D

Well.
Today is TEACHER'S DAY! (only 3 hours left, but still...)
Feel kinda guilty that I didn't go back to see Mr Ang WJ or even back to TJ. This is the first Teachers' Day I've not done anything for. Feels kinda odd. :(

Anyway, to all TKGS 4e6ixers 2005, this is the reply I got from our dearest, rotund, sarcastic, favourite FM:
"I am embarassed 2 say i do miss u people and craned my neck waiting 2 see at least 1 of u 2 turn up but none came!"

Pile on the guilt man.. >__<

And I'm still doing H3. :(
RAWRR.
...

Well. Some thirtythree lurveee. Mifa's photos. Its been long since I've pimped photos on my blog.

The boys look really funny here. Haha. You can tell that Nef has put on some weight.

Happy happy happy. (: After Ran's MEP performance. These people are some of the best friends I could have ever asked for in TJ. God has blessed me with so much.

This is another one of them, and I just know she's going to COMPLAIN that 1) she looks ugly, 2) I'm mean for putting up the photo, 3) its a huge close up of her face. Bring it on Soef. :P
Anyway she's wearing the EARRINGS Mifa and I got her. (: Be glad I used this photo, the other one bears your I'm-evil-and-I'm-going-to-burn-down-the-school expression. :D

Random happy photo Mifa took of us at the bus-stop. It was just one of those days when we were heading down to Siglap for ThaiExpress. :)

Though really, I must insist on you seeing the two photos that occured before the one above. Soefie really makes me laugh a lot, sometimes.

And our LOVERLY class shirt. Paraded by two very gh3y creatures. (Mifa was taking the picture. ^^v is the NUMBER ONE WAY to annoy the living daylights out of her.)

Which is a 'secret' clearly everyone knows. (And exploits.) :P

Finally - the clincher. Our two history teachers in our shirt. We gave it to most of our teachers as an early Teachers' Day present from thirtythree. Haha.
Too bad we didn't manage to get all of them in it together.
Though as it was I don't think Mr H and Mr B were particulary bemused to find themselves donned in the same attire.

Mr T, too, was particularly embarassed to be seen wearing the same shirt as his latecoming students. :P

Here's Mr R though, whose birthday the Drama people were celebrating. Hee hee hee.

How to not be thankful for thirythree, tell me, tell me!

Okay, 'tis nearly 10pm. Guess its back to the H3. Rawr. ...
JTS tomorrow. I feel almost embarassed to recall our own last year. Sherman didn't even turn up though. :S

2007-08-31T18:36:00.000+08:00

After spending my entire week camping out here in Millenia Starbucks, I only have one thing to say...

The good looking people only start materializing on Friday. Oo la la. :D

Even though the whole area is kinda jammed with Comex and post-Teachers' Day students milling around everywhere...

The greatest plus point is the Aviva/Ironman whatever thing that's going on here in Millenia. Because that further adds to the presence of hot people. ;)

H3 is such a______.
My stomach feels funny. My head feels funny. :(

Caught Ratatouille last night with Jason.
IS NICE. SO CUTE. I LIKES. I LIKES VERY MUCH. SO CUTE. ^___^

Krys is still going oun about how my English has degenerated since I came to TJ. Yes, I now speak Singlish. Sue me. :(

So, Disney still doesn't disappoint. Everything has changed somewhat with the demise of Walt Disney himself. But the essence of Disney still courses strongly through the vein of the current movies. Cars, The Incredibles, Lilo & Stitch, etc. (:

Somehow, even this movie seemed very much like a tribute to the great man himself.
LALA.
Anyone can cook. Anyone can dream.

But was plagued with bad bout of diarrhea through the movie which was really torridly awful and dampened my Ratatouille experience.

WATCH IT ANYWAY. :D

Now.. back to H3.................................
................
..........
....
.

2007-08-30T11:07:00.000+08:00

As the exams loom closer with each passer day, I hereby leave you with quotes that you may, only under most specific of cirucumstances, wish to use in your GP essays.

History
I found one day in school a boy of medium size ill-treating a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied: 'The bigs hit me, so I hit the babies; that's fair.' In these words he epitomized the history of the human race. ~ Bertrand Russell

Education
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
~ Douglas Adams (lovelove)

The Arts
The many great gardens of the world, of literature and poetry, of painting and music, of religion and architecture, all make the point as clear as possible: The soul cannot thrive in the absence of a garden. If you don't want paradise, you are not human; and if you are not human, you don't have a soul.
~ Thomas Moore

For all who haven't started preparing for GP - you should. I don't see why it should take you very much time, it can be done with perfect ease of mind after you've spent 10 draining hours doing Chemistry or what not. Flip through the GP booklet, if you possess it, and pick out the possible questions that you're likely to do. GOOGLE, is a magnificent godsend. Don't lie to cover up your laziness - most things you need for an essay can be easily gleaned from that miracle monster.

And read the GP Bulletin, for TJ students. It is good, if you aren't strong by default, language marks are 20. Content is 30. At least strategize to cover your ass from as many angles as you possibly can to glean language marks if you can't go for language. There are essays in the Bulletin that do not read very well, but the coverage of content is admirable enough.

That said, if you'll refer to the TJ prelim papers for the past few years, most of the questions AREN'T straightforward. And since I'm most selective with the type of questions I would even dare to attempt (and most of you probably will be, of course), I'll probably only be left with the history/terrorism/national boundaries/poverty/life worth living/religion type. :D

Also, please go build up a plethora of Fast Facts on Singapore - you don't need the details, you just need to know enough to sound intelligent. And this will help if you have NO CHOICE but to do the Singapore related question for Paper 1. You'll very likely need it for AQ anyway, so knowing some trivia wouldn't hurt.

Also - main issues in the world right now that should be catching your attention (or at least, it catches MY attention cause its the sort of stuff I'll probably want to use in the type of essays I enjoy doing).

The American Presidency. Putin pulling in the reins. Sarkozy - fresh face for France? The war-that-they-are-too-stubborn-to-end in Iraq. The futile-but-I'm-too-proud-to-admit-that-I-can't-find-him search for bin Laden. (Very) recent release of Korean hostages by the Taliban. Hamas takeover in Palestine and degenerating conditions in Gaza. America's ridiculous conviction that they still have money to move into Pakistan. And more recently, the stockmarket plunge with blame currently mostly focused on bad American mortages. Its effect on the Asian market. The long-term sustainability of SEA's economy. China's shoddy standards which I'm still trying very hard to pretend to be surprised about. Uh, I'm sure there's stuff going on in Africa but like our Western fellows, find it more palatable to ignore what is beyond my comprehension, will, ability or charitability to address. :D They are still poor, impoverished, hungry, and are only being sustained in the short-term by the UN. :S
UHH. Ecetera. (disclaimer)

Well.. yes. Mr. R just demanded my H3. :(
Which I have been putting off.
Moo.
Moo.
H3..

Lifehouse is nice. I always see Jesus in their songs. (:

Lifehouse - Hanging by a Moment

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you....

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment here with you

Lifehouse - Unknown

This doubt is screaming in my face
In this familiar place
Sheltered and concealed
And if this night won't let me rest
Don't let me second guess
What I know to be real
Put away all I know for tonight
And maybe I just might
Learn to let it go
Take my security from me
And maybe finally
I won't have to know everything

I am falling into grace
To the unknown to where you are
And faith makes everybody scared
It's the unknown, the don't-know
That keeps me hanging on and on and on to you

I got nothing left to defend
I cannot pretend
That everything makes sense
But does it really matter now
If I do not know how
To figure this thing out

I am falling into grace
To the unknown to where you are
And faith makes everybody scared
It's the unknown, the don't-know
That keeps me hanging on and on and on to you

I am against myself again
Trying to fit these pieces in
Walking on a cloud of dust to
Get to you

I am falling into grace
To the unknown to where you are
And faith makes everybody scared
It's the unknown, the don't-know
That keeps me hanging on
And I am falling into grace
To the unknown to where you are
And faith makes everybody scared
It's the unknown, the don't-know
That keeps me hanging on and on and on to you

2007-08-27T22:17:00.000+08:00

Hello, I have so much yet so little to say. Been putting off blogging not because I've been particularly busy, I just haven't had the energy or willpower to articulate the million and ten things that have been having independent discourses in my brain.

The first of which though, is probably the insulting issue of Newsweek from July 23, 2007. The special feature is on crony capitalism in SEA. And well, not that I'm particularly patriotic or anything, but the nerve of these white men who think they know our region oh, so very well...

So the ex-President of the World Bank knows us 'intimately', so he claims. Well thanks for all the SAPs during the Asian Financial Crisis then. They really, really helped, you know.

"For working and middle class Asians, the past 10 years are mainly defined by rising and palpable inequality. The two wealthy city-states Hong Kong and Singapore, today boast inequality as measured by the international Gini benchmark that is on par with urban Argentina."

Well excuse me, but unlike Argentina, Singapore does not have 26.1% of its population below the poverty line.

"Today, it seems all too possible that the region's coddled political and economic elites will allow their states to slide into a Latin American morass, as they continue to live high on the hog while the dreams of ordinary people go down the tubes."

I know you're not just talking about Singapore, but the region here, but I'll leave anyone reading this to make the value judgement for yourself. Overall, the whole article reeked of the same accusations I could jolly well rally the West on.

Anyway, on to other things.

Friends have been commenting with some surprise on MSN or Friendster that they didn't know I was attached. I wasn't aware that I was supposed to proclaim it to the world at large. :P

Funnily, despite Mr. T's conviction of preying on couple-ical TJCians, I've seen a fair share of them committing the apparent odious crime of physical contact in and out of school these past weeks.

I suppose stress does funny things to you. Giggles.

Well I do wish I had more intelligent things to say. I do have many wonderful, wonderful truths. My Abba is such a fantastic God. (:

Well just a little testimony then.

Three Saturdays ago I sent my class-tee for printing. I wanted to get it before the 24th, which was last Friday, our last official day of school before we embarked on our study break, and I really wanted to get our shirts then because we were giving them to our teachers and we wanted them to wear it on dress-down Friday. 2 weeks was the barest minimum that you could expect the company to get the shirts ready for you, and the lady said that she could get it to us by the 24th. The 24th, however, would still obviously be too late since I could only get it after the day was over, of course.

I didn't even pray or specifically ask God for it, but I was mulling to Him, 'Hey Daddy, it would really be nice if we could get the shirts before the 24th, but since we can't, oh well.'

WELL. Exactly one week after I sent my order and settled the payment, the lady messaged me to inform me that the shirts were ready for collection. At first I thought there was some mistake, after all, BARELY 7 days had passed. But I replied anyway, and she told me to go down to Bishan to get the shirts on Monday.

It was so WOW. God is so totally amazing, I didn't even have to ASK Him, it was just His fingerprints all over this gift, this miracle to his beloved Lizzy (and 33/06). (: (:

I collected the shirts, and the lady told me she had written the wrong date on my order. Instead of 24th, she wrote 15th. And since their factory was in M'sia, they just completed the order and delivered it as per written.

SO TOTALLY AMAZING RIGHT! God just turns every circumstance for your good. X)
It doesn't even have to be some big, great miracle you know. Even the little things in your life, God prospers. You don't have to just go to Him when you've got big things to ask for - He'll gladly settle all the teensy weensy, seemingly most insignificant things for you too. Because if its important to you, then its important to HIM.

And I didn't even ask for it specifically. I didn't pray over it, or take communion over it. It was just - 'How nice it would be Lord, if we could have the shirts before the 24th.'

And He provided. (:
He's just like a lover, or a best friend, or a daddy - you know when you wistfully mention some things in passing without fully expecting it to happen but it still does happen to you because the person who really loves you heard it and wants to surprise you with it?

Yeah thats how I felt. Its like my Daddy couldn't wait to bless me because He heard me. (:

Lovely week ahead everyone - especially those encountering the prelims.
GOD be with you. He has made you to be the HEAD and not the TAIL. ABOVE and not beneath!

2007-08-18T17:06:00.001+08:00

Hee hee my besties love me. :)

WY gave me a really big, fat green highlighter. (Because I always seem to finish using not only mine, but hers, at a famished, vampiric rate.)

Rene made dubious looking cupcakes for me and WY to sample when we went to Aston's on Thursday (still think its kinda overrated but well its not bad for the price you're paying, other places have ripped you off for less). They (the cupcakes) were actually.uh.not bad.

Vonniekins got me apple strudel!! (: (: Von always gets me strudel to tell me she loves me. Haha. (:

And she would like to remind me that its three weeks, not two, to the Prelims.

Lovelovelove..
Thank you Jesus for such wonderful friends even though we're all so busy now and hardly see each other these days.

Rene apparently popped up outsie my house yesterday with Krin and H.Simin but I was taking an afternoon nap and too tired to entertain their little amusements. They were going to Ice Cream Chef, which I introduced (and treated) WY and Rene to after Aston's on Thursday.

Jason claims Island Creamery is still nicer.
Yeah the Nutella and Horlicks flavours at Island Creamery is probably better.
But nothing beats having crazy mix-ins like chocolate/durian with granola (its nicer than it sounds, trust me. Try it if you're in the neighbourhood.) or chocolate with malteses/marshmellows (madly sweet) or oreo&cream with kinder bueno... etc etc etc.
The permutations are endless. And heavenly. (:

Anyway, ton-ed at the airport last night with Jason after CG.
CG was exciting!!! (:
My house was filled with soooo many people. Over 20 people turned up and it was the biggest CG session I've ever seen. The last time it was this packed was the combined East B/West B Christmas party and that was two caregroups.

It was AGNES' birthday. And we planned a (rather) elaborate surprise. Hahaha. Some of the other JC leaders turned up to surprise her as well, and it was almost difficult to keep her here long enough to give them time to arrive. Hehe. Fun fun fun. (: (:

It was almost ruined by the fact that Agnes was the first to arrive at my place around 7.10PM, leading to a minor panic over how the cake was going to arrive unseen. Fortunately Xin En and Aruna were coming on their own - and they're new, so I managed to drag Agnes out to the bus-stop to meet them (a diversion! ~Legolas) while Ziyu and Jaslyn sneaked in from the other direction with the cake.

Was quite amusing really but it worked! I'll bet Agnes was really baffled over the fact that none of us wished her happy birthday and annoyed that even Kitz was late (worship can't commence without the guitarist.. hehe) and that the J3s whom she had commanded to move up to their respective Uni caregroups had unanimously reappeared again.

Lol. Yes. 'Twas fun.. Agnes is an awesome, really anointed, favoured CGL full of grace and wisdom. Totally love her even though sometimes her 'funny' jokes and bimbo-esque moments really make me bewildered. HAHA.

Okay yes..
As I was saying, Jason and I ton-ed at the Airport yesterday (or was it this morning).
Lasted till 4.30AM. Didn't help that I only slept past 3.00AM the previous night and only had a short nap before CG on Friday. Well I valiantly tried to read about the Arab-Israel conflict till about 5.30AM, trying to do Probably and Binomial Distribution in between (but alas, I couldn't remember a THING about how to do Probably or Binomial. I can't even remmeber how to type it into the calculator LOL, so it was pretty much a lost cause) and gave up and slept till about 6.30AM.

I think Jason survived most of it. Though I did remember waking up at some point and seeing him resting his head on the table. Lol.

Well well. It wasn't too bad, really. Though as most of the TK gang would know I'm not much of an overnight-er. WY and Von are. Well. Von is. I know WY spews rubbish when she wakes up. HAHA.

Mom picked us up in the morning and we went to Changi Village for breakfast before she sent him home.

Ladidum. And I've pretty much wasted most of my Saturday away sleeping/trying unsuccessfully to complete my H3.

Oh well.

Jesus loves me this I know.
Have a good opinion of God.
Because He WANTS to bless you.
Whats there to worry?
Will He not look after you?
Are you more capable than Him at solving your problems?

PS.
And I know I hardly do this, but it was on Nigel's blog and it is really awesome.
So I just had to. :O

[edit, 10.05PM]
OKAYYYY.
I just returned from dinner at Samba with Mom.
For the uninformed, its at Katong Village - where Waraku is, opposite Stonegrill and Aston's. ;)

Tonight was one of the rare days I REALLY FELT TOTALLY PWNED BY MY FOOD.
I know most of you are aware that I can actually eat when there's good food around (harhar.. even my palates are elitist). But tonight I really could.not.stomach all the meat.

Though honestly, I highly, highly recommend it. Especially for the MALES. Its $32 or was it $36? +++ for weekends.

And trust me - its really worth it. Works buffet style - there's a whole load of sides (vegs) and staple to choose from, and you sit down at your table and the dudes come around with the meat on those huge kebab-esque sticks and just serve you sides of meat after meat after meat...........

SO MANY DIFFERENT CUTS OF the poor cow came to our plates. And it was so scary to see the marbling on the juciest, most tender one.. gosh..

And of course there's lamb, chicken, fish, prawns and pork too but mostly beef and more beef and more beef.. I think the males would really love it. Us girls, I don't know. Personally I couldnt stomach all that.

For the price you're paying though, you're getting a REALLY GOOD DEAL. Especially if you're a carnivore. It is bagus.

Lizzy however. Was quite, quite pwned.. and sat there rejecting most of eager attempts to slice more meat onto her place while she stared in amazement at Mom who walloped quite a SUBSTANTIAL amount of MEAT.

She said she didn't use to know how - but after she married my Dad she gradually learnt how to eat so much. (LOL)
She also said Jason must be deprived having to eat with someone like me. *LOL*

That boy seems to have started skipping meals. TSK TSK.
I'm a girl. You're a guy. Guys and skipping meals are MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE EVENTS!
But yes its clear that he DOES have a normal, exorbitant MALE appitite - aka he CAN eat. He'll probably like the food there but I don't know how much of it I can really bare. LOL.

And for dessert they had these banana and pineapple slices that were roasted just like the meats and Mom really really loved them. But uh, yes I AM quite a fussy eater aren't I? :S

I don't eat pineapples - and the girls were discussing the other day that one banana is equivalent to a BOWL OF RICE.
And you know what happens to these carb rich foods when they get roasted right? They get caramelized. *Shuddddders*

Okay.
Yes. *cough*

And they give you these little cheese bread dollops that is just pretending to be bread. It is CHEESE.CHEESE.CHEESE.RICH.GLORIOUS.CHEESE thinly disguised by a layer of FLOUR. I do not know how something that small managed to be so rich. :O

Okay shall stop rambling now.
Moral of the story: If you love meat - go there. Yeah.

2007-08-15T18:25:00.000+08:00

Hello blog, I'm quite, quite utterly exhausted. Its 2.5 weeks to the Prelims.. about slightly more than a month to the A levels.

Today was particularly horrid. I couldn't do my Role of Government essay even though I know I did study the content for it.. I haven't quite seemed to have grasped the concept of writing Econs essays.. I really do seem to disregard it as a H2 as compared to History and Lit. Hmm. Then we had the Lit test on Poe and again I couldn't quite write. Lawl.. barely scraped 2 sides of a paper for each question..

It was one of those days I felt as though I wasn't going to make it for the A's... now don't laugh.

Truly tiring. Econs test, to double Bala, which requires your brain to function at optimality, and then Lit test. Some Civics talk that I exhaustedly slept through, lunch at Thai Ex, and double Bala once more..

I'm feeling almost incoherent now so if my grammar starts to escape me.. you know why. Maybe I should go for another run. It feels good, to run, these days. I know most of you who've known me for a zillion years would probably be shocked/appalled by the prospect of me running. But yes I've been doing it occasionally these days.

So..tired.
There's so much.
SO much content.
SO much evaluation.
SO much cause/effect.
SO much everything.

And I haven't even started. Nor have I edited my H3.
I don't want to burn out.
And I know I'm stressed, yet I know I shouldn't and needn't be.

Last night was particularly frustrating. Mom came home sick and was puking. I had to bring her water, meds and porridge at different intervals. I was annoyed cause I wanted to study, yet at the same time I wasn't studying and was fooling around online. Yet as I brought the stuff up to Mom I sorta felt as though I was 'wasting my time'.

Then I started to think to myself - how much more ridiculous could I get? Had I reached a point where my studies had become more important to me than my mother? What kind of a sick prospect is that? Is this why our society is becoming what it is today? Where we can't even sacrifice our time for the very person who has loved us and matured us since infancy?

This isn't just time you're sacrificing, you say. Its your future. Well without my Mom I wouldn't even have this future now would I?

The revelation was such a disgustingly appalling slap in the face. If I could use these excuses now, what would I use when I'm older, and working, and married? Will I always be too busy for my Mom? Not even just my Mom. Would I always be too busy to do anything for anyone that doesn't benefit me in any way?

It makes me feel sick to see how selfish I have become, what my circumstances have led me to believe. Time time time. Yes, I know I don't have enough of it. I know the exams are dawning on me faster than the sunrise, and I know this is my future I'm talking about.

If I don't get straight As for the Prelims, what scholarship provider will have me?
If I don't do well for the As, how am I going to do that Double Degree at NUS? How can I even consider applying for Cambridge? UCL? Leeds? How could I possibly flatter myself into the disillusionment that I'm actually clever?

SO. WHAT.?

Is this all I want my life to be? So I can show the world I can analyse Shakespeare and Edgar A. Poe at the touch of my fingertips, or explain perfectly the mechanisms of the Global Economy, or recite back to front the events that transpired during the Cold War.. and not have the time to look after my sick mother?

Many 'small' things we think we sacrifice now for the bigger picture later. We're so set on what we want in the FUTURE. How about now?

Its all about 'I, I, I'. Me me me. My education. MY life. MY future. MY success. MY career.
I'm so sick of this self-centered existence. I'm so sickened by the way I have allowed the conformities of this system to enable me to even consider such options.

I am repulsed by the fact that I view my education as the primary importance in my life right now. I'm not saying it isn't important. I'm just saying this isn't what education was meant for. Everything has been perverted. In our quest for perfection, in our quest to attain, to improve, to scale greater heights... much has been lost.

Sometimes its almost not surprising to wonder why Singapore is having so much trouble retaining all the Big Brains it nurtures from Primary 1.
We have placed so much importance on SELF that we have all turned into mercenaries.
I'm now saying all of us will flee. But the ones I've met who are determined to stay within the geographical boundaries of this island in the long-run are pathetically little.

"It depends,"
"Singapore is too small."
"I can get better opportunities elsewhere."
"Whats there for me here? Its so stifling."

I'm only 18. I'm in no position to judge.
But I'm tired.
And no I haven't burned out. And its not a 'yet'.
I'm not going to.

God is on my side.
And you know what, no matter how fearful I am.
Or how self-absorbed I become.
The fact remains is that this existence isn't about me.
The end of my year isn't about attaining straight As for my A levels.
If thats the only thing I want, and I must say, it likely is the only thing on my mind now.
Then I'll say I'm being extremely ridiculously shallow.
Its not even about going to a good uni so I get more paper qualifications so I can get a good job, good money and die rich.

God has a plan and purpose for my life way beyond this system.
I'm not here to run the rat race and be the number one rat.
Regardless of these circumstances,
I know, that I know, that I know, that my success isn't limited to how well I do in Singapore's academic race.
By worrying about it, I am limiting GOD's ability to bless me based on how WELL I do for my studies. Which is rubbish. IS MY GOD SO SMALL? THEN JESUS COME ALL THE WAY TO DIE ON THE CROSS, FOR WHAT? He gave up SO MUCH, he came to be my RIGHTEOUSNESS. So he can INTERCEED FOR ME at the FATHER'S right hand, so that I can say 'AS CHRIST IS, SO AM I IN THIS WORLD', just for me to take SO LITTLE?

He wants to give me so much. Why am I LIMITING HIM to what I understand?

There is so much I don't understand.
Why do I persist in seeing the world from my limited perspective.
God's faithfulness is timeless.

“So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”

There is so much more to this life.
This is just another step on the ladder.
This life is going to be so much more fulfilling. So much more of JESUS.
He's just going to strengthen me through this.
And I want to have no fear.
Because He is my victory.