Wednesday, January 30, 2008
8:50 PM

Latest news, I have lost my voice. This whole being sick thing isn't funny anymore. -_-

Thank you Jesus that I'm already healed...



Lotsa design work to do now. Happy. :)
I know I'm probably crazy. Funny, since I've never had any intentions of going into the creative line (because its a crazy competitive place to go...) but I'm currently building up a pretty nice portfolio, though my portfolio is branded TJC all over.

After this slough of projects I'm going to start CHARGING for my work.
Yes Shawn I know I still owe you a blog layout. I've not forgotten, I'm just figuring out how to make it 'you'.

But yes, I should charge. HEH.

I want my voice back. :(

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8:50 AM

Was sick last night.
Curled up on my bed and waited for the fever to dissipate.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, WY and Rene decided to pop by around 2100h. One can only ignore Rene's laughter from outside my gate for so long so I had to open the door.


Mm.
Its nice to have friends. :)

Throat's still wonky and am still slightly lightheaded.
Limbs still aching.

But work beckons.

So bye bye.

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Monday, January 28, 2008
3:32 PM

Shall make valiant re-attempts to make evening jogs a habit.
At least until next week, for Road Run.

Wouldn't hurt to shed some kilos before CNY either.
Oh who am I kidding. :P

Anyway, whirlwind weekend has ended. Jason was out, and I spent more money on cabs/food those 48hours than I did for the whole of last week add together.


Kitz introduced me to this new fangled thing (or at least, new to me) called Twitter. Cramming anything lizzy-esque into 140 characters is a challenge but I'll meet it. ;D


We'll save the emo poetry for another day since I'm actually having a pretty good Monday.
Lizzy needs new hobbies. :D

She wants to learn the guitar, Japanese, German or French, to cook, to sew, to dive, and to make pretty things.

Whee.

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Friday, January 25, 2008
8:42 AM

Hello! Another week has passed. :)
The 'O' level results were out yesterday, I do hope my students get to stay because they're a really great bunch of people whom I enjoy spending time with.

The nightmare of my see-saw transition from AC to TJ 2 (or is it 3 now?) years ago seems like a rather distant memory now that the tumult of tears, fears and indecision has faded away and I'm actually waiting for my 'A' level results instead.

Although I have said it many times, I can't help but repeat how thankful I am to God that I ended up in TJ. Every day I appreciate this school more and more, having come here and now, having had the opportunity to teach here.

If I sat down and reflected on all that has happened in the past 2 years, I must say that God's hand of favour and grace has just been so strong on my life, it would be an insult to talk about my JC life without bringing Him into the picture.

Things are never 100% smooth sailing in life but when He said "I'll look after you," two years ago when I took that giant leap of faith to move from AC to TJ, He never disappointed. He's seen me through all the way, and He will never stop doing so.

I feel so patriotic today that its just one of those days I feel like saying that "Yes, I come from the best junior college." Obviously, those who know me would probably fall on the floor and die laughing from a plethora of emotions most associated with 'shock' and 'horror'. Yes, its something I have never said, but I know God has made it the best junior college for me.

You don't have to be in the place that the world defines as 'best', because GOD knows what, and where, and who, is best for YOU. Trust Him to provide that place for you. That is why, I believe, He took me out of AC even though I was in such turmoil over whether to stay or leave, because I had sincerely thought I wanted that 'cool' combination; to do Theatre Studies, KI, History and Lit. To be part of that cool 'English' culture. To be around like-minded people.

After I left, I gradually began to see all the things He has delivered me from. I would never have been able to survive there, and now I know it. Back then I couldn't see it. But don't limit God to your own microscopic vision. Just because you can't see the future, it doesn't mean God can't. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." God has already been to your future, and He says it is GOOD.

So expect good. Today's daily devotion was aptly titled "Expect good things to happen to you!"

---

Expect Good Happening To You!

Ephesians 6:17
17 And take the helmet of salvation…

When the phone rings at odd times, most people think, “Oh dear, it must be bad news.” They don’t think, “I wonder what the good news is that it cannot wait till morning!”

When we hear, “The boss wants to see you,” instinctively, we think, “Oh dear, this is not good.” But how do we know that it is not a promotion?

Our minds are inclined towards the negative. So to guard our minds against negative thoughts, we are to put on “the helmet of salvation”, which is “the hope of salvation”. (1 Thessalonians 5:8)

If you are going through a trial right now, putting on as a helmet the hope of salvation means that you have a confident expectation of good coming your way. It means that you choose to believe that this trial that you are going through is only temporary because God will see you through it. It means that you believe that this difficult period will end with your salvation — your preservation, wholeness, wellness, health and prosperity!

You may not know what is going to happen this week. But one thing that you can do is put on the helmet of the hope of salvation. And tell yourself that you are going to have a fantastic week!

“Well, you know, Pastor Prince, you never know what to expect. We hear so much bad news these days — another flu outbreak, another company retrenching its workers… I really hope that I will not be retrenched next. But I cannot be sure. I am keeping my fingers crossed.”

No, my friend, biblical hope is not “I hope so”, but “I know so”! You can have a confident expectation of good happening to you because you are not like the people of the world. You are a child of the living God. You have a Saviour watching over you. There are more angels given charge over you than there are demons against you. And greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4) There is every reason for you to have a confident expectation of good happening to you!

---


Expect good from your heavenly Daddy. He WANTS good things to happen to you, so believe it! :)


In other happy news, today is book out day. (:

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Monday, January 21, 2008
3:38 PM

Waiting
never seems to end
and sometimes you've just gotta pretend
that you're good at waiting and you've done it all your life -
not that it ain't true,
it is.
But you force yourself to be subdued
because you don't want to show
that you're probably the most impatient person you know
who can't wait a week, another week, maybe two -
for someone who actually means something to you.
Patience is key but all I have is the lock
and its just getting harder to be something I'm not.
I know to you it looks like I just don't care
and sometimes you can't help but question why I dare
to try and hide
the shameful truth that I
am pining like a lovelorn fool inside.
I'm trying to shake off this feeling of despair
But although you'll never see it
I do - and it's
there.

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Friday, January 18, 2008
8:24 PM

Bugis Street is such a horror to navigate. And all for a couple of belts. Braved it with Mifa today and it was like omgwherearewe? to the tune of blaring techno from practically every single jam packed gaudy stall in the entire vicinity.

*shudders*

Missed SBA dinner. So sorry guys, I was really intending to go, marked it down on my calendar and all. But I'm really mentally, physically and psychologically drained at the moment. Too much bitching for the past few weeks has polluted my system, and I know if we meet tonight we'll probably just bitch the night away as we always do - its a TK thing. Well, not just a TK thing but it being an entire bunch of TK girls, inevitably the bitching will take precedent.

Tired of bitching, sounds impossible eh? But I really am. I just don't feel like talking anymore. *silenced* I've met my word quota for the month. kthxbye.

I want to do something. I'm restless. I want to make something. My fingers are itching to make stuff. Will someone please come up with the name for the TJ Alumni concert so I can start designing?? Or Mardi Gras, or even the drama t-shirt they wanted.
Gimme gimme more.



Just listening to some worship songs now. Do you realize that sometimes, you just really don't want to go to church? Have you ever wondered why some of your friends just always, vehemently refuse to go? It just suddenly struck me, that I'm starting to feel how they feel. Its not because they don't want to go to church, but because going to church brings out the guilt in them. There's Arrow service tomorrow, and I was just reflecting how its only there, in the presence of God (or not even there at Arrow, but right here in my own home, with Jesus) that I can truly be vulnerable. And Pastor Benjamin really has such a calling from God for our generation, that God always uses Pastor to preach so accurately into our lives that the words cannot help but penetrate and strike deep at my biggest weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

And perhaps, this is the reason why many of us don't want to go to church, because we don't want to let down the shield that we've taken so long and strived so hard to put into place. The facade of strength, that we as humans could ever be strong enough for ourselves.

Which we never can.

And its pride, for myself, I know its pride. Pride that keeps me from wanting to be vulnerable, to anyone else. And fear, that my vulnerabilities will reveal the side of me no one ought to see.

I know we all feel that way, regardless of what you choose to think, or not to think.

But come to God with your weaknesses. Because who else can you go to? He takes your weaknesses and makes them into strengths. He doesn't want you to give it to Him just so He can pinpoint you like every other human being just to prove what a lousy person you are. And even if you don't go to church, do you think God doesn't already know your weaknesses?

Coming to His throne, sitting at His feet, being vulnerable in front of Him, is just so He can love you back into wholeness. All your sins were judged on the cross once and for all. He isn't judging you, nor does he punish you. He cannot - for if He did, Jesus' death on the cross would be a mockery. Why come all the way to die so that the one sin you commit can be left out of the equation?

Its only there in His arms can I be vulnerable. Its only there I am safe. I can't rely on myself, my weaknesses glare unforgivingly at me, and all other humans will do is point out the same.

He is the answer, and He will never disappoint.


Anthony Evans
Letting Go
Behind your disguise
I see in your eyes
Something has left you wounded
I don't have the answers
For all of your tears
But you're not abandoned here

He knows where you are
He's been there too
When you can't go on
He'll carry you through
When your loosing hope
He's still in control
He's never letting go

So the damage is done
You try to move on
Still your empty handed
But this isn't your home
I want you to know
You don't walk alone

Of your situation
In the face of the unknown
He's right there
Look deep into your heart
For his reflection and
Don't let go please don't let go

I don't have the answers
To all of your tears
But you're not abandoned here

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7:23 AM

Well well well.

It's been an interesting night.
I'm becoming so minimalist with my entries, its not even funny anymore. I need to start writing again. Really, writing.

It is now 11.15AM. And I'm really sleepy because of my very much interrupted sleep that only I can be held responsible for.

'... Mr. Bennet treated the matter differently. "So, Lizzy," said he one day, "your sister is crossed in love, I find. I congratulate her. Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed a little in love now and then. It is something to think of, and it gives her a sort of distinction among her companions."'

RAWR.
I need sleep, books, and some solace.
Most of all, I need Your comforting presence, Jesus.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008
10:26 AM

Newly revamped Smoke&Mirrors up and running - now back on Blogger after four years.

Was listening to Pastor's "Finding Your Life Partner" series last night, and was so drawn to it that I couldn't stop listening to the whole 3 hours. It made my mild depression slightly more acute. A lot of it spoke to me, in ways that I have tried very hard to ignore for a long time because I just didn't want to face the facts.

Everytime I go back to the Word the message keeps ringing out loud and clear, a message that I've been trying to deafen and ignore. I feel like such a young, fresh and inexperienced idealist. And the truth is, that is what I am.

God, I do not have the strength to do what is needed of me.

I'm only turning nineteen, who am I kidding?

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Monday, January 14, 2008
9:49 PM

I feel vaguely schizophrenic when teaching.

Oh well, God's grace is more than sufficient for my shortcomings.

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Friday, January 11, 2008
8:23 AM

Hello, I know it has been long since I've actually blogged properly, but with the changes and stuff, I'm still settling in and trying to get a layout done for the big move, not that many of you are probably aware that blank-space.net has gone kapische as it is. :)

Am thinking of re-taking things up with another web hosting provider thats currently offering a better deal, but it'll still be pricey, pricier than the previous one actually, but offering over 300% more space.

Am looking for someone to share it with, if anyone's interested. To cut cost and all, you know.

In other news, life is currently enjoyable, and the weeks are passing and slipping by like running water. Soon enough the results will be out, and I'll find myself in some university or another. Time does pass fast when you're having fun.

Shall leave you with my latest love.
Hillsong United's In a Valley by the Sea.


SECOND CHANCE
VERSE 1
You called my name
Reached out Your hand
Restored my life
And I was redeemed
The moment You entered my life
Amazing grace
Christ gave that day
My life was changed
Went from my shoulders
Fell the weight of my sin

CHORUS
So it’s with everything I am
I reach out for Your hand
The hope that changed a second chance I’ve gained
On You I throw my life
Casting all my fears aside
How could greater love than this
Ever possibly exist

VERSE 2
Consume my thoughts
As I rest in You
I’m now in love with a Saviour
Bearing the marks of His love

CHORUS
(REPEAT)

BRIDGE
So I wait upon You now
With my hands released to You
Where a little faith’s enough
To see mountains lift and move
Yeah I wait upon You now
Dedicated to Your will
To this love that will remain
A love that never fails
(REPEAT 2 TIMES)

YOU REIGN
VERSE 1
What could stand before You
As You chose to embrace
A cross so undeserved You took for me
The wait of sin upon You
When You offered Your life
As You walked the streets of men with fading strength
How could we live
But not see, Your sacrifice, Your glory

CHORUS
You reign, You reign
Over everything Lord You reign
With power and justice divine
Over everything Lord, You reign

VERSE 2
What was Your last thought
As You drew Your last breath
Where the victory was Yours for us to see
And all will know the truth
As we live by our grace
Every praise to You alone
How could we live
But not see, Your sacrifice, Your glory

CHORUS

BRIDGE
You reign
You reign
See now the King of glory
Love of God, become my calling
Father, I surrender
All I am, to You forever
See now the King of glory
Love of God, become my calling
Father, I surrender
All I am, to You forever

CHORUS
(REPEAT)
Over everything Lord, You reign
Over everything Lord, You reign
Over everything Lord, You reign



Bagus. :D

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Friday, January 04, 2008
12:00 PM

Time is passing really quickly.



I've only 6 more weeks left at work.

Then when I'm back from my holiday it'll be the June holidays.

And another couple of months and I'll be back in school.



An interesting way to spend a year. Distinctly different from how my education landscape for the past 12 years has been shaped. (Incidentally, Tharman is no longer Minister of Education.)



A nice, refreshing breather, I would say.



Still, it begs the question of how I am actually spending this precious time apart from nurturing the minds of the newly initiated.



Currently, its by playing Final Fantasy XII.



Which I do apart from the marking, designing, designing, marking for at least 5 days a week before enjoying church and spending time with Jason for the rest of the 48 hours that make up a week.



Not very interesting aye.



I ought to be doing more with my time...

Because I have the time.

...



..



.



I want to be engaged in activities that are glorious to Daddy.

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Tuesday, January 01, 2008
11:30 PM

Hello hello. 2007 has passed so awesomely, and I apologize for not blogging.
Its January again, which means domain renewal. Lizzy would now like to take the time to announce that blank-space.net will be closing down. These past 4 years have been a good ride, but needlessly paying $80+ every year for something I'm scarcely using just isn't practical anymore.

I'll either move back to blogger (only because it'll allow me to play around with my layout) or multiply or something.

Oh yes, blessed new year everyone! Expecting so much from 2008.
I'm going back to school tomorrow. Irony of ironies!
I know there are lots of other things I was supposed to blog about, but I was too busy enjoying life, and my musings grow more muted by the day.

I doubt I'll be able to stop blogging for good, words play far too important a role in my life. But things will probably tone down further, not as though they haven't already. :)

Be expectant for 2008 everyone, God's going to move in a big way.
Favour and blessings, rain on me!

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