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Monday, October 22, 2007
11:41 PM

Hello again (A blog entry, already? Le gasp).

Well, the A's will be knocking on (many) of our doorsteps next week.
I'm sure most of us can't wait for it to be over as much as we dread its eminent arrival.

All of you probably have your own struggles and challenges; the A's really isn't small to us now because we're engulfed by the reality of our circumstances.
Many of you out there are probably stressed, worried, fearful. Ridden with nightmares, plagued in your waking and sleeping hours with many questions such as 'what if... I fail/I can't remember everything/I misread the question/Nothing I study comes out' and 'if only... I had worked harder in JC1/Paid attention during tutorials/Bothered to read the newspapers/Consulted my teachers often'...

But I've just sat through a really, really fantastic weekend of GOOD FOOD from Pastor Benjamin and Pastor Prince, and I just wanted to encourage you guys, since I know how real the perpetuating fear can be at this point of time.

But as children of God, you have absolutely no need to fear. Its unjustified.
As one of the daily devotions recently read; face it - if God can't help you, what makes you think you can do any better? And the saddest part is, God isn't only able to help you, he is more than willing to help you. He's just waiting for you to stop trying to help yourself and turn to him.


You know why you're gonna do well? Because you are a descendant of the King. As Christ is right now in Heaven, so are you in this world.

The hardest thing many Christians seem to grapple with is the infamous, almost irritating 'disclaimer' statement that simply goes, "Have faith".
And how do you 'have faith'?

The simplest way is to have a good opinion of God.
Why can you believe that you are gifted in wisdom?
Why can you believe that even though you don't know the answers, your papers will still find favour in the sight of the markers?
Why can you believe that you are supernatural and don't have to rely on what people of the world need to get good grades?
WHY live like you have no God when you have one who is more than capable, and more than willing to sandwich, smother, saturated and suffocate you with all the goodness that he can't wait to pour on your life?

Why limit God to human understanding? Why can you not accept the fact that God wants you to do well and He can make whatever little you have studied work for your good because He is a good God? Because you are not God!

Stop limiting God - He is bigger than you can imagine, and you can never, ever finish comprehending his magnificence and love for you.

So have a good opinion of God, because it is in his heart to bless you. CHOOSE to give thanks. Forget the 'what ifs' and the 'if onlys'. Stop saying 'But, I didn't study hard enough, I brought this upon myself. I don't deserve to do well.', 'I only studied this much. My teachers say my input = my output. I'm not going to get the As I thought I could get when I first came to JC.', 'I was never consistent the past 2 years, I failed my prelims, there's no way I'm going to jump 5 grades'.

Hello, are you God? Do you believe He wants you blessed? Do you believe He wants you to do well? Take my suggestion and start if you haven't. It's crunchtime, its a week to the A's. Its the best time to turn to the only one who can help you. And really, if you deserved it in the first place? Why do we need grace? Why did Jesus even come to die on the cross? It is an insult to Him, that He came to take away not only your sins, but your condemnation, and your guilt, and to give you the same POSITION as Himself at the Father's right hand in Heaven, to make you the heir of the world if you're not going to claim it?

Self-pressure, stress, peer-pressure, parental pressure... what are you trying to do, kill yourself? It does.not.work. Some people think the fear motivates them. WHY, really, rationally and logically speaking, drive your blood pressure up the wall, give yourself grey hairs and take a few years off your life, pimples onto your face, wrinkles to make you look 5 years older, when you can just rest in His finished work?

If we were perfect, if we deserved the blessing, then Jesus died in vain.
As Pastor Benjamin said on Saturday;
If you can see the invisible, you can believe the impossible.

What you believe? What do you see?

The word 'sin' in the original Greek means 'to miss the mark', anything that comes short of the glory of God. And what is the glory of God? It is to have a good opinion of Him. Don't miss the mark out of disbelief. God has equipped you with all the wisdom and grace you need to succeed in this realm.

Excerpt from yesterday's Devotion:

Mark 11:24
Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.

A blind lady was led to a great healing evangelist for prayer. After he had prayed for her, he asked her, “Now, tell me what you see.” She opened her eyes, only to be told, “Close your eyes. Tell me what you see.” She tried opening her eyes again, only to be told, “I didn’t say to open your eyes. I asked you what you saw. Close your eyes! Now, tell me what you see.”

This went on for a while, until the lady realised that the evangelist was asking her what she saw on the inside. Did she see herself seeing? When she understood that, she said, “I see myself with sight.” Then, the evangelist told her, “Now, slowly open your eyes.” That moment, she opened her eyes to perfect vision!

When you prayed just now, what did you see inside you? Were you praying for someone’s healing but that person in a coffin? Were you praying for a financial breakthrough but the banks pursuing you till you are bankrupt?

Many people don’t get what they pray for — they get what they believe they receive when they pray, because Jesus said, “Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.”

“Whatever things” includes everything. And believing that you receive them comes before having them. Jesus once told a centurion, “Go your way; and as you have believed, so let it be done for you.” And the centurion’s servant was healed that same hour. (Matthew 8:13) The centurion saw his servant healed. He believed that he had received his miracle, even before it came to pass.
--------------

Believe it, and it will come to pass.
And Pastor Prince preached on Sunday a really, really glorious message on the power of speaking. As a Christian, you really have no idea how much power there is in your tongue. By His death on the cross, Jesus has made you a King Priest. And you know what that means? The words from a King's mouth have authority. The words from a Priest's mouth has power.

When you say 'I will fail', you will fail.
This is not motivational speaking. This is the power of the risen Lamb of God in your mouth.
Non-Christian can utter positive utterances to themselves till they're blue in the face and still die of cancer. They can will themselves into believing that staying calm, doing yoga and herbs will cure them of cancer. But they will not see wonders and miracles the way you will because DADDY WANTS YOU WELL. HE wants you WHOLE.


I myself had a really bad throat through the week, my mouth was riddled with multiple ulcers, and one of it was conveniently situated at the back of my tongue. The pain was so sharp that I couldn't open my mouth, swallow even my saliva or talk without excrutiating torture, given that this champion ulcer was but one of many. Any food that entered my mouth had to be liquid before I swallowed to risk minimum tears leaking from the corners of my eyes, and I was even tempted to go to the doctor (an activity I have not engaged in for over 8 to 9 years).

At Arrow service on Saturday, it was so bad that I could barely open my mouth to worship, it hurt just to move my jaw. But I really wanted to worship Him, because I knew that my healing was in Him. I just kept thanking Him and worshiping Him, I could feel His presence but my mind was on the pain because it was just so present. All through worship it was there, through Pastor's praying, through the message... and then, as the service closed and we sang the last song. I suddenly realized that I was singing. And it didn't hurt.

It didn't come immediately, I wanted the healing so badly during worship, when it really engulfed my senses, and the area of healing has always been contentious for me because I hardly fall ill, and most of the time I wait out the course of the sickness. But this time the pain was so bad that I just couldn't wait any longer.

And God hears you when you ask, when you take from Him. During worship Pastor kept saying that God was in the place. And I just kept saying, 'I know you're here, and I know that if you're here there's no way I'm not gonna be healed. No way that I'm not already healed. You can't possibly be here holding me and comforting me and not heal me. I am the healed of the Lord.'
And it just hurt all the way.
But God is faithful even when we are faithless. Don't depend on your own faith. Just have a good opinion of Him, know that HE wants to bless you. And He loves it when you take from Him. Just like Mary, who had 'chosen the good part, which will not be taken away from her.' (Luke 10:42).
He pours into your hunger, the more you want from Him, the more you ask for Him, you enlarge the pool that He is able to fill.

Stop limiting God.
The A's are here, or the O's. Or any trial or exam.

Say it outloud, make the devil mad.
Proclaim that you are the righteousness of God in Christ.
That you are a success, that you are intelligent.
That whatever you study will come out.
That God will show you the right topics to study (face it, you cannot finish studying everything).
That as you write your papers, the right words will flow.
That as you lay your hand on those scripts before/after the exam, that favour will be upon all that you've written, blind the examiners if necessary, let it be a blessed script that will get high marks - not because you deserve it, but because your God is an awesome God.

Have a good opinion of your Daddy. Because it is His heart to bless you.

Enough of 'I will fail', 'I don't deserve it'. Yes. You don't deserve it. Neither do I. But I know, that I know, that I know, that He is my success and my wisdom. That MY FUTURE CANNOT HELP BUT BE BRIGHT. I may have done well for a few subjects, but I don't want to let my faith be in that, because then I'll have to maintain it on my own. I just want to REST in His love. Because its safer, and better, and so much more refined and precious in His hands.

As we study in this last lap, lets study knowing that He has already given us the VICTORY. Study from rest, not out of fear, not out of stress or pressure.
Live the God life.
He has already made us heirs of the world.
We are in this world but not of this world, we don't need to live like the people of this world.
Don't live like you have no God.
Claim your inheritance.
You ARE the righteousness of God in Christ.
And you are DESTINED to reign.
1 comments.

 Anonymous said

Hey dude,

I chanced upon your blog and have thoroughly enjoyed it. I attend New Creations too. God bless you man.Im in JC 2 too. Thank you for glorifying God..

Srijit

1:49 AM  

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Saturday, October 20, 2007
1:36 PM

Blogging in Starbucks means I don't know if any nosy imbecile is leaning over to watch my life unfold. Another week has passed. A lot of drama this week, which still makes me indignant to think about.

I'll refrain from expounding on it though I've had a lot of time to intricately refine my unhappiness in my head.

The A's are just two Tuesdays away (can't stop staring at this poseur lesbian pair in front of me who are only sec4 and dressed as though they're about to walk down Hollywood Boulevard) and I'm still calm as the eye of the storm.

It'll be over soon enough, another month or so.
(The We-think-we-are-hot-but-I-think-you-are-so-not employees of Precious Time and peeking out again. Do they even get any business? Seriously? I never seen anyone buy anything from there and I study here so often.)
Mrawww.
GP on 31st.
Math/SEA on the 2nd.
And soon it'll be H2 Lit on the 26th. Whoopee.
Econs...
Rawr.

Words unassociated with my academic material seem to have dissipated from my mind like an insubstantial peagant.

...

I want my brain back. :S

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Sunday, October 14, 2007
11:23 PM

Sometimes I feel so uninspired when I type in this little white box that I think upon the day when I stop blogging. (Le gasp!~)

I think, it will be long from now. If ever. Unless the internet goes out of fashion, or something.

Many mullings today. Was flipping through an old copy of New Paper from last month. As we all know, New Paper is tabloid trash. Many dead people make it to the front page.
It was about 2 Chinese Nationals who had been involved in car accidents, given up the ghost as well as the Singapore Dream.
There was an article, most solemnly penned by a clearly emotive journalist, about whether we, as Singaporeans who possess the much coveted pink IC, truly appreciate the card which we irritably queued to receive after our 15th birthday.

I suppose a lot of us take things forgranted. Never again will I ever allow the comment that 'History has taught us nothing' to float so nonchalantly past me. History has taugh me so much. It has opened up my virgin and ignorant eyes to the world. Lips that said in Sec4 that I couldn't give a rip about politics and was the most stubbornly apathetic fool on this planet are now silenced and awed by the nature of international relations.

Yes, many of us complain, so much, about Singapore.
And most of the time, these are the people who truly are empty vessels making the most noise.
I have learnt to appreciate so much about Singapore. Our governance, the PAP.
They are not perfect, but before you open your mouth to unleash a torrent of dissatisfactions, face it. They're the best we've got. Its quite unfortunate, the type of culture we've come to built.

Singaporeans are champion complainers. In some ways its endemic to our Chinese/Asian 'culture' of choosing to say the bad even in light of the good. For some reason, people never seem to enjoy getting praised.
"Wah you lost weight ah!"
"No la! Its the shirt!"

"Your son very smart ah! Got straight As!"
"No la, very stupid ah, he very lazy ah!"

Singaporeans are so bad at being gracious. And likewise so bad at receiving grace. And likewise, equally incapable of appreciating what they already have.

Much of it would be empty words. Oratorical champions, talented journalists and juvenile bloggers may tell you to appreciate the fact that you can sleep soundly in your bed every night, its possible to study in Starbucks, leave your belongs at the table and go for a meal and your items would still be safe when you return, that you live in a blissfully air-conditioned nation, have a McDonalds at every turn, yadda yadda.

But its something you catch for yourself.
And after so many years of being proud of not knowing or giving a hoot about anything out of my personal stratosphere, I'm glad to be able to read the papers and appreciate the complexities of ASEAN's role in the Mynmmar, UN's limitations, and the nature of Burmese politics in general. I'm glad to be able to read about Hamas in the West Bank and Gaza, and truly appreciate why 'Rejoice O Israel' brought the Foreign Minister to tears.
That song, is beautiful.

Likewise, in church today, Pastor Josh was preaching while Pastor Prince was away in London, feeding many hungry souls the truth of God's grace.
The hunger is so strong where they can't get him every week.

For us, each Sunday we nestle in the comfort of those plush red chairs. Some of us fall alseep, others leave halfway.. yet many of us persist in queueing. Sometimes we don't realize how so very blessed we are to be able to hear the Good News preached so succinctly and gloriously to us each and every week while others would gladly come to Singapore to sit in just to listen to Pastor preach in person.

Even as Pastor's books are hungrily snapped up in the UK, and Pastor preaches to thousands who just want so very much to soak up the message of GRACE. We shouldn't forget how so INFINITELY FAVOURED to be here in Singapore, to belong to New Creation Church, and to be part of the GRACE REVOLUTION.

It is amaaaaazing. And I just can't wait to see what more God's gonna do.
With the church, through the church, and for its people.
Awesome.
Really awesome.



And oh, Jason finally introduced the rather sua ku Lizzy to the wonders of an 'EQUALIZER' (wuzzat?) that exists in iTunes. Yes. I'm really sua ku about this.
Pirates of the Caribbean sounds so shiok now.


And the new Casting Crowns album is nice, yo.

"Prayer For A Friend"
Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You
Complicated circumstances have clouded his view
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

I fear that I won't have the words that he needs to hear
I pray for Your wisdom, oh God, and a heart that's sincere
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You
My best friend in the world, I know he means much more to You
I want so much to help him, but this is something he has to do
And Lord, I lift my friend up to You

'cause there's a way that seems so right to him
But You know where that leads
He's becoming a puppet of the world, too blind to see the strings
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
My friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You



"East To West"
Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other



Have a blessed week everyone. (:

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Thursday, October 11, 2007
8:30 PM

Ugh. Remind me never to study with Soefie again. :P
She spent most of the afternoon distracting me.
I can't believe we watched all the Luke and Noah bits of 'As the World Turns'.
Its all Dinah's fault. And Soefie's. Of course.

Barely finished..anything.
When are the A's again? Oh right - 31st.
It's the 10th now. Would panicking be a good idea?
I doubt so. It cramps my style.

Was reading Ahnaf's blog - because Soefie was reading Ahnaf's blog. Not that he's my bosom friend or anything, but a most entertaining and cherished aquaintance.
He is such a diva. So hilarious.

At Gloria Jean's again. Soef and I just consumed a whole slice of Chocolate Royale. It is quite, quite heavenly.
For those of you who've not yet tried Glora Jean's..
Iced Chocolate is lovely. :)
Scones are fresh and just the right texture. And they're only $2.00.
Sandwiches (quality ones) are only $3 to $3.50.
The higher quality gourmet sandwiches are also very palatable.
Quiche is good - and less than $4.00.
Salads are nice. (: Less than $4 too (for potato or pasta). The greens cost $6+, which is ironic since they're just made of, well, lettuce mostly.
(Chocolate makes me lose my vocabulary. Warble warble.)

But 'tis gooood. Cheaper than Starbucks. And I'm in love with the comfortable silence of this outlet. Sure the emptiness doesn't say much for business. But this place is Daddy's gift to me man. :D


Oh yea. We celebrated Dad's birthday on Sunday at Kushin-Bo.
OMG. It's totally yummmmmmmmmy. I could eat sashimi and green-tea icecream all night. :]
So totally worth the extra 1kg that confronted me on Monday morning.
(It is gone now, in Jesus' name. Ahem.)

The jangles they have when they have their half-hourly 'specials' is really annoying - and its amusing to see people rushing like crazy for the special 'deals' like bits of lobster or crayfish that they give to the first 25 people or something. Quite, quite funny.
But overall a really enjoyable foodie experience.

One that I can only take in moderation though.
As much as I adore Japanese cuisine for what it is.
(Jason and I been trotting down to MOF and Azabu Sabo lately. Desserts make Lizzy high and happy. :D)

Okay back to Balance of Payments. W00h00. Joy..
I feel woozy, saturated and mildly top-heavy from Chocolate Royale.. Mmm.. so rich..
*flops into a headachified puddle*

The state our minds are reduced to when the 'A's are fast approaching. :S
It functions in a completely different dimension altogether. :S

Ohh. Jason's back from dinner. :D

Laters.

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Tuesday, October 09, 2007
10:58 AM

I was supposed to blog and get out of here.
Yes I didn't go to school today, not so much out of a oh-my-gawd-I-have-no-time-to-study-and-school-is-wasting-my-time attitude but a sleep-is-good-and-I'll-really-like-to-get-some-alot-of-it mood.

So. Came online to blog and chao.
BUT.
How can anyone come online without going to FACEBOOK??
So yes. I've been distracted for a good forty minutes.

But I've had a lusciously wonderful time sleeping. :]

Time for another photo entry. I love thirtythree. Why are we always behaving as though we don't have 'A' levels to sit for?

This time it was Nef's birthday.



We gave him a bear which he is still being mercilessly teased about today. ;P
(Moral of the story: BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.)

And a hamster wheel. (Inside joke about the hamster that runs tirelessly in his head just to keep him going.)

And food. (Of course.)

We had Embarrassed-Looking-Ken for most of the night.
And many Bear jokes.



Many, many photos as usual.
For a camwhoring lot. ;D


Dinnering @ Marche.



Cow @ Marche. Its so funny. We wanted to take a picture with the cow. And all we have its its butt and lil' red tail.



And whats a birthday without some minor malu-ation. :D

Sakina has most of the nice shots but she hasn't sent them to me (HARUMP).
Most of the ones here are Mifa's or Shereen's.


Okay last happy shot.
:D
LOVELOVE.


On to a separate note, was just reflecting on the nature of relationships.
They're so.. materially expensive. Let's not even delve into the emotional or psychological aspect of it, but, yeah, it is. (For him, more than for me, materially, that is.)

It's quite amusing to be attached at eighteen, and doing everything that perhaps grown-ups do. (It's not that we ain't 'grown-up', but when you're school, everything else becomes an anachronism, or you become the anachronism, at least.)

To me, dating is the process you engage in in preparation for marriage. I know that's not the case for many out there, and I'm starting to see the logic behind it.
And that is why they don't encourage us to date at our age. Because you're obviously not going to get married in a couple of years are you? Unless, well, accidents happen.

We live as though we know everything,
Yet I say - we know nothing. :)

Maturity is subjective. And having lived 18 years, I doubt I'm in much of a position to talk about it. But its funny, being attached, having a boyfriend. Living from day to day, not knowing where the future will take us, but excited to get there anyway.
The dreamscape stretches out before us, so much potential untapped.
So much more of a life to live.

And I'm talking about LIFE here. So many more places God hasn't taken us, so many more opportunities to do His will. And I know He's moving in me already. Taking me places I've scarcely been able to dream of.

Its a week to a year.
So much I have had to change, in my mind, about relationships.
In many ways I realize my naivety. In so many ways I am still growing. In so many ways, I am still eighteen. It is not too young an age to be.
In other societies I would have surpassed adulthood by a mile.
In mine, I've had a bonus ticket, an extended childhood. A space in which I could pretend I did not need to grow up.

But the Lord grows me, and He never fails me, and I'm just so excited about what this life is going to be, what is already is. :)

It's wonderful to have a purpose for living.
And nothing can beat the feeling when you're living for Him.
Because your future won't be dependant on you.
But in His grace and promise of a hope and a future.

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Monday, October 01, 2007
10:17 PM

Marrysong
Dennis Scott (1939 - 1991)

He never learned her, quite. Year after year
That territory, without seasons, shifted
under his eye. An hour he could be lost
in the walled anger of her quarried hurt
on turning, see cool water laughing where
the day before there were stones in her voice.
He charted. She made wilderness again.
Roads disappeared. The map was never true.
Wind brough him rain sometimes, tasting of sea -
and suddenly she would change the shape of shores
faultlessly calm. All, all was each day new:
the shadows of her love shortened or grew
like trees seen from an unexpected hill,
new country at each jaunty helpless journey.
So he accepted that geography, constantly strange.
Wondered. Stayed home increasingly to find
his way among the landscapes of her mind.


---


One of the PC poems for Lit (Paper 1) Prelims.
I think it maps the female mind quite pleasingly.

Been looking at some of the questions from other JCs for Lit and History (Don't know where Rannald gets his goods). Some of them are really funny.

Oh well.
The new album from New Creation Church is out.
I See Grace.
It is.
TOTALLY.
Awesome.
Thats all I can say. (:

Words fail me, a lot, these days.

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Lizzy (04/02); student, teacher, saxophonist, graphic designer, writer, child of God.

Loves God, green tea frap and peanut butter cups. :D

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