Tuesday, July 31, 2007
4:49 PM

Okay hi, in case anyone's wondering - yes I'm still alive.

Com crashed. Along with my H3 and everything. Well I must say everyone else panicked more than I did.

Ken's lent me his brother's lappie for now - till I get Deep Thought back or his paranoid parents (alliteration!) find out its gone.

Anyway I think Deep Thought's too dysfunctional a name for it.. when it returns from the money sucking HP/Compaq Service Centre I shall have to re-christen it.

Something more auspicious. Like O Blessed Eternally Functioning One or something. But we'll see.

In other news, the new Temasek Times is out, Yuan Qing is good - nice, clean style. Good for publications, better than my loud, casual advertizing style.. Lol. I got the pleasure of designing the cover though (despite them changing the header to ORANGE). Its in COLOUR (for the first and only time in TT history..) so its nice and purdy..

My article's in it - 100 Percent Chinese. Read it if you would like a taste of how monolingual I am. THOUGH THE EDITOR DID CHANGE SOME THINGS. Inaccurate information! Rawr!


Oh yes.
My church, New Creation, is having a General Paper (GP) Seminar this Saturday from 4 - 6pm. Its at SUNTEC so its not like its in some ulu place in the middle of nowhere..

A teacher from VJ is gonna be speaking, and the material for the sem was prepared by professional writers in my church. So yup. Its gonna be really good and useful - and I know that most of us don't have the pleasure of being fantastic at GP, yes? (refer: TJ's 13% distinction rate)

So I think it'll be really good if you guys could come and be blessed - don't worry it isn't holy molely.. Its about GP.

Yeah.. Back to writing. HAWhawHAW..

In Your Freedom from Savior King by Hillsong 2007 June/July release
In Your Freedom
Words & Music by Marty Sampson and Raymond Badham

I search for You
God of strength
I bow to You
In my brokenness

No other King
Could have so humbly come
To save my soul
And heal my heart

I have nothing more
Than all You offer me
There is nothing else
That is of worth to me

I love You Lord
You rescued me
You are all I want
You’re all I need

I pray to You
God of peace
I rest in You
My cares released

In Your freedom I will live
In Your freedom I will live
I offer devotion
I offer devotion


Awesomeness. (:

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Friday, July 27, 2007
11:24 AM

Realized how busy this year has been.
Am taking a short break from my H3. Which makes sense now, hallelujah.

I even forgot the 23rd of June this year.

The living are so busy that they forget the dead.

Well, more than a month late, but hello old friend acquaintance, whatever you were to me.

Life is precious, and I know it. It has been many years, enough time for many of us to mourn your passing. Perhaps you did not know it. No, you did not, else you would not have chosen to end your life. Many people miss you. You were loved. Are loved.

I do not know where you are now, I can only hope that you called upon His name before you left. But life is precious. Fragile.
And you taught me to treasure it.

---


In other news.
I know not why.
But I feel I've lost a friend.
Your silence is more deafening than your insults.

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Wednesday, July 25, 2007
6:45 PM

Hello.
Very tired and busy.
Tired mostly.
Have to redo my H3.
Pray for me. (:
I still know its gonna be alright. That God's still in control.
But this is my challenge, so do keep me in your prayers.

Anyway.
The funnies that have been happening to our class..
***
Mr B: I don't understand why some of you highlight your notes in a rainbow of colours. Unless you have a rainbow brain, its not going to help you.

Mr B: (everyone's slightly late for lecture, rain is pouring fervently outside) Where's everybody? Why are they late? Have they been washed away?

Conversations between Soef and Mr H.
Mr H: Sofie Adnin Soebrin.
Soefie: *in that tone* Heyyyy Hasim Hasan!
Mr H: *looks shocked* Excuse me? What?
Soefie: Thats how you play the game right? You say my full name and I say yours? :D

And the marvels of Soefie's casual links leaps:
Rishik: Snape is dead.
Soefie: But Hasim is alive right?

Mr R: (greeting our class while we were lining up during fire drill) Oh, I'm surprised you haven't died in the fire.

Mr H: Kenneth,
Kenneth: *interrupts* Mr Hasim, do you count your calories?
Mr H: Er.. what? *silence* How heavy are you Kenneth?

(at the same fire drill. Both Mr H and Mr R are wearing pink shirts)

Me: Mr H, Mr R is wearing pink too!
Mr H: No, this is not pink.
Me: Yes it is! What else could it be.
Mr H: Look carefully, its not pink.
Me/Soef: Are you sure? I think its your transition lenses...

ZH: Mr R, Mr H is wearing pink too!
Mr R: *uppity noise* Uh, mine is like, more expensive? And I think I look better it in. ;)

*uproar from class*

Mr H: It takes very little to amuse your class doesn't it?
ZH: MR H!!! QUICK, DEFEND YOURSELF!!!
Mr H: Over a shirt? Don't all of you have better things to worry about, like your A levels?

And alot more funny stuff.
Oh how I wish I could remember them all!


In other news, class photo taking today.
We managed to get Mr H to do some HOT STUFF.
The pictures are LOVERLY. Haha.
Can't wait to get 'em. ;)
...

Hungry.. Ken's still writing his IS.
ZZZ.
Oh. I'm still at 0 words for my H3. Deadline's in exactly a week. (: Go me.
Jesus, this is the predicament. YOU are the solution.

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Saturday, July 21, 2007
6:01 PM

HELLO.
ALL I'm going to rave about in this entry is HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, which I finished at 3.40PM today, having started at around 9.10AM. No, I wasn't speed reading.

So..
GIANORMOUS SPOILER ALERT!
Highlight if you do wish to be spoiled/discuss the book with yours truly.


Okay...
One thing I now HIGHLY regret doing for the past 39434923 years is reading TOO much fanfiction. The strong, highly imaginative and relentlessness of these fanfic writers have probably managed to cover the series from EVERY POSSIBLE ANGLE.

And when the Snape/Lily thing happened, it felt like deja vu - I felt like I was reading fanfiction. In fact, this was a sensation that I endured at MANY POINTS of the book, none of the plot twists managed to surprise me. As Schwa pointed out, Lily being a 'Mary-Sue' is quite a ghastly proposition. Rowling's ability to stretch the argument wears as thin as some of the poorer fanfics I've had the misfortune of reading.

In fact, I have read MANY, MANY pieces of fanfiction, and some of these writers beat Rowling hands down, any day. The writing was rather amateur, disappointing, as the past few books have been. The ending was quite horrid. Not the plot, but the ENDING. Now srsly, Albus Severus is a HORRIBLE thing to name your poor child.

Speaking of dead people. I must have a minute of silence for my favourite character. :( :( :( :( :( :(
MY SEVERUS SNAPE IS DEAD. *WAILS* (BAWLS EYES OUT LIKE THE SHAMELESS FANGIRL SHE IS) Well. Yes at least my adamant stubborness on insisting that he was innocent has been proven true. Dumblydore isn't alive- no loss. But the dead of FRED WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY. It added nothing to the plot. And while we're at it, lets aimlessly kill Remus and Tonks too! JOY. The only slightly poignant aspect of that was that it meant that ALL the Marauders were gone.

The Horcrux burning Harry's chest and making the wearers cranky was SO LAST SEASON. We don't need LOTR Part 4. And the Harry isn't dead because he sacrificed himself selflessly argument was taking Narnia a bit too far. Very orignal Rowling. I'm impressed.

The last chapter of the book read like bad fanfiction. Horrible, horrible names. All these little spawn of the new generation. *shudders*

It almost feels as though Rowling has been prowling (hey it rhymes!) around ff.net too much. Unimaginable, but the way the plot works out makes me doubt any less.

Snape is gone. :(
Snape is gone. *feels loss*
SNAPE... :( :(
SNAPE LIVES FOREVERRR! (denial)
And I think she just killed Hedwig cause she didn't know what to do with her. Lawl. ... ... Killing spree.. kill.. kill..

I'm just glad the series is at end. Its concluded. According to Rowling. SNAPE LIVES ON IN FANFICTION. And you see, we didn't get it too wrong after all eh? He IS watching Harry's back. We do get some things right, us writers.

I wonder who Draco's wife is. LOL~~~~~
SCORPIUS. WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS THAT?

I'm probably going to talk about little else for the next few days. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Snape. :(

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007
8:16 PM

Hi.

Extremely tired. Did a favour yesterday. For a friend.
Met up with Darling for dinner too, who was accompanying me to get it done.
And got me flowers. (=



Sunday (15/7) would have been our 9th month anniversary - if we hadn't broken up once during December, and for the fact that we've not actually been celebrating anniversaries since.

But time has passed fast this year.. And well. Its been good. I don't actually wish to spew mushiness onto these pages, would be rather uncharacteristic of me, so I shan't. (:

Love you dearie. Hehe.



In other news, UK University applications are quite scary, if you don't have the brilliant zeal that Rannald possess to zoom up to the top of the checklist that our tutors will be filling in to recommend us for placement.

And oh, I really must thank God for something. Even as he blesses, he possess such a brilliant sense of humour. Some of you know that I got the TJ Arts Book Prize last year, its not something you even work to get. They give it to all Arts students who take 3 or more Arts subjects and got 7 points or below for the O's. Basically it meant that the school blessed me with $300 worth of KINO (LOVELOVE!) vouchers, which I have only just recently managed to finish spending during the last 20% weekend on an array of loverly loverly books, English comics, and Chinese mangas.

SO. Just as I finished spending $300 on books... the school just awarded me the Lucy Khoo (who?) Book Prize. Something I didn't work for either. They give it to the top 10 people who make the biggest improvement in GP grades from the Promos to the J2 JCTs. Lawl. Basically I got an E last year, and an A this time. And no I didn't strategize to fail okay. Which self respecting Arts student enjoys seeing herself get 21/50 for a GP essay.

BUT. Yes. Praise Jesus. Another $100 worth of Kino vouchers for me. LOL~~~~~ Joy joy joy joy. More books! More books! Lol. So TJ has been sponsoring all my literary fetishes for the past year. I've not had to pay for any of them. (: JESUS YOU ARE SO GOOD.

Yup. Another miracle blessing to add to the overwhelming list of the things Daddy has literally thrown into my lap so undeservingly. I don't care what people may think, but I'm giving all the glory to Him. Thanks for giving me money for one of the earthly things I love the most - books. X) X) Just because YOU love me.


Yay.

And oh. POTTER ON SAT I CAN'T WAIT I CAN'T WAIT SO EXCITING!!
Collecting it from school.
Its finally going to end. For the sake of continuity we've been trudging at it. It hasn't even been all that good, the past few books. But its Potter after all. And it must be read. :P

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Sunday, July 15, 2007
8:45 PM

Hosanna by Hillsong United is really powerful.
I never really thought much about the song before yesterday, when we sang it at Arrow.
It's really, really beautiful.


Hosanna - Hillsong United
I see the King of glory
Coming down the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Chorus
Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest (x2)

Verse 2
I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival
Staring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Bridge
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity


The impact is just so great on my Spirit now. Even as I listen to the song now.. I feel His presence just here with me this very moment.

Its not the song. I've heard it many times over.
But when you catch the revelation behind the song.
Then it becomes powerful for you.

Just like in church, you can belong to a church for 10 years and listen to all those sermons.
But if it only stays as a head revelation and doesn't drop into your heart, it will not become true for you.

So what do you believe?

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Saturday, July 14, 2007
11:48 AM

Hullo, its a loverly loverly Saturday morning.
It is now 11.54AM.

I set my alarm for 9.30AM so I could wake up bright and early to write my H3 (ya right).
Its amazing how many hours I've already invested into my paper and all I can say is that I have 500 words for it. (:
The innate perfectionist refuses to settle for anything less than coherent, which contrary to popular opinion, is not as easily attainable as it looks.

So, enough about this H3 thing which I've currently yet to continue since I woke up a mere hour ago, and spent the last half fighting with the modem/router/Deep Thought which refused to connect to the dear, precious, Internet.

Speaking of the Internet, I find it highly ridiculous that the one place in TJ with the worst Internet connection is the Library.

And oh, JCT grades are BBBAD, literally.
Haha.

GP - A
History - B
Literature - B
Math (H1) - B
Econs - D

Now I've to figure how to get my Econs grades to rise above that abysmal mark. Everything else I'm okay with. I was aiming to average Bs this exam, and I suppose my grades are satisfactory enough, even though I dipped quite a bit for History. Knowingly I didn't study as thoroughly as I normally do for History anyway. I'm really happy with Lit, this is the first actual exam I did pretty well in. My text essays were fine but I blotched my PCs, ironic considering I used to be so much better at PC when I first came to TJ. (Hm. Causal links?) GP was quite amusing. Well I guess Mr T is a pretty good teacher after all. GP grades last year were most horrid, but seems I've pretty much grasped the technique of spewing out GP-esque essays now... all I need to do is streamline my thoughts and make everything tighter, and this applies to all my subjects I suppose.

Now, time to talk about POTTER. (:
SPOILER ALERT!!
Since its open I've already caught it twice. On Thursday with Jason and Friday with Kitz and Jaslyn. Whee whee whee.
Must say I didn't like it all too much the first time. It felt as though they were just trying their best to get the plot across (and so much of it already being chopped out and all) and there was scarcely any character development. Everyone was fighting for screen time of course, and there were so many moments where I know my specific group of friends would be squealing away. But unless you grasp the canon/fandom concept, it'll probably slip right past.

I like young Snape. (: (:

Umbridge: Because you know, somewhere deep inside, that you deserve to be punished.

(LAWL)

Okay anyway. Umbridge kinda reminds me of Mrs L... TJCians, comments?
But its funny anyway.

And because I've had the opportunity to watch it twice I had more time to note subtleties. Did anyone notice the blackboard when they were doing their Charms OWLs? It said: Use Azio Mizuri (can't remember the spelling, actually) ink only.
Okay I can't really remember what the name was but it looked Jap. Haha. Japs pwn even the quill ink industry.

Secondly, this movie just gave me another opportunity to detest CHO CHANG even more. Katie Leung spent the whole movie giving BLATANTLY adoring/pretending to be shy looks at Harry. It was QUITE revolting. And then they had to kiss. Well it was a first kiss. Clumsy. And whatnot. So it looked bad too, fortunately. Thank God for Ginny and her jealous glances. I'm so glad its going to be Ginny in the next movie and not Cho. I still marvel at how they managed to weed out such an unflattering looking Chinese girl with the strangest, most confused accent I have ever heard.

Umbridge: Boys and girls are not to be within eight inches of each other!

Haha. Okay the jokes were quite amusing. And the Friday crowd at The Cathay was much more receptive than the few that were in the cinema at GV Grand on Thursday.

Kit was laughing and guffawing so loudly and at some really INAPPROPRIATE times. I have no idea why.

Luna is lovely! I love Luna. She is the PERFECT Luna! Finally some GOOD casting. After they made Sirius look like a shaggy Dorian Gray and Lupin into some unhawt cardigan toting oldie. Oh, but Umbridge was perfectly annoying as well, of course. Good casting. Her pink room with the PLATES FULL OF CATS is highly disturbing. *shudders*

The Weasley twins are so cool so cool. But I know this is probably the last we'll see of them. BOO. :( They don't play that big a role in Half-blood Prince and I know they're probably gonna be chopped out. And they really ARE starting to look a bit too old to be in school. But they rock. XD XD

Anyway, if anyone is going to watch Harry Potter again, tell me if you notice the Gryffindor boy with the emo blond hair sitting next to Ron during one of the Great Hall scenes. WHO IS HE? WHO? WHO?!

Oh yes. And !emoHarry made his presence felt a lot, though less irritatingly than as expressed in the book. Dudley was positively amusing. I like Dudders.

Hmm. The Sirius being sent into the Veil scene was fast, no opportunity to bawl my eyes out. Lol. BELLATRIX IS LOVELY. I love Helene Bonham Carter. (: She's the voice for Corpse Bride by the way, which was modelled after her.

And I still dislike the Dumbledore. He has ruined Dumbledore. He's not kooky and crazy and woohoo like the first one was. He's too edgy and pointed. Even though the plot gets darker I don't really think Dumbledore turns into such a high strung creature.

Now I feel like re-reading Book 5 and 6 in preparation for next week's release of Book 7. I can't WAIT. To see how it ends and to see if JK Rowlin can redeem herself for how bad the past few books have been. Movie 6 is probably going to be really boring. The book itself was dull enough. There was scarcely any action involved and it'll probably just be another plot vomitting session. Too much plot was unrolled in Book 6. Christian Coulson will not be playing Tom Riddle this time though, sadly. He's too old now. :(

Oh well. H3. Er. Yeah. Or not.
*wobbles away*

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007
9:55 PM

H3's not getting very far. I'm frustrated, and I've spent many hours being frustrated. I'm trying to write quality stuff. But its not spilling forth as fluidly as I would like it to. I wish I could languish in the pleasure of having completed a 4500word paper, but I do not yet possess the clout to do so.

I am in several degrees of agony, and the only thing I can do is cry out to Daddy God, because I have never experienced so much difficulty writing before.

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Monday, July 09, 2007
6:10 PM

Hello blog.
So far, yet another unsuccessful afternoon trying to write my H3.
I've not many days left. Early Sept's the submission. And I've to let Mr. R vet my draft by the 1st week of August.

JCT grades so far.
I'm getting Bs. Urgh. Okay well there is nothing wrong with Bs. Except that I can be a perfectionist wannabe and be discontented because it ain't no A.

(all adjusted for moderation...)
History: 61/100 overall. Presumably B.
Lit: 68/100 overall. B.
Math: 66/100. B.

Awaiting GP and Econs to complete it all.
I'll be happy to get a B for Econs. Because well. It's econs. I've not actually gotten a B for Econs yet.

And I was feeling rather morose, somewhat, that I had missed my As for my 'pet subjects'. I'm such an arse sometimes. Some of my friends and my fellow schoolmates are happy just to get a decent pass for their subjects. Many of them are sad because they don't hit the passing grades, and here I am being discontented at having received Bs.

Was talking to Daddy God while walking home from Siglap earlier. I asked him why I was so unhappy with my marks. Really, I think its all quite silly. I have absolutely no reason to be unhappy about it. Not just because B is a very decent grade to be averaging, but because I'm God's BELOVED. And to be GOD's BELOVED is to be everything all in one on its own. Seek first his righteousness, and ALL THESE THINGS shall be added unto you. I don't have anything to worry about.

So I was lamenting to God about how I was lamenting.
And He said, "Well, isn't it good that you haven't peaked yet? Do you want to peak now? You will peak by your 'A' levels. Those will be the best papers you ever write."
And I briefly wonder if they will be my last, since (for now) my eyes are quite set on a Communications/Business Double Degree at NUS. Which probably means I won't be reading History or Literature at University. As beautifully lofty as these subjects are, and as much as I dearly enjoy them and love them.... Sigh. I want to do something practical. I want to be there in the world, I want to DO stuff. I don't want to be reading books and books on History and Literature, I have an itch I want fulfilled. I want to be an entrepreneur, I want to be a freelance designer, I want to be so many things, and this course is the first (so far) to interest me enough for real life application.

Okay. digressions aside, my good friends were also discussing overseas educations today. Rannald lugged his hoard of UK university pamphlets and stuff to school today, and they were all talking about going to Oxford, Kings' College, LSE and the like. It made me feel somewhat scared. I've been so nervous all day. When I got back SEA History, which was badly done by my standards, my heart just thumped so loudly in my chest, I could feel my breath getting short. It wasn't because I was devastated, I wasn't. I'm not that silly. Its just that I take failure so badly. I'm insulted by 'failure'. And its true, the more belief you have in yourself, the harder it is to trust God.

And thats one nugget of hope I'm giving to all my friends who feel like your studies are currently screwed upside down.

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

The weaker you are, the more hopeless your situation is, the MORE GOD CAN WORK.
What can God give me eh? I think I'm smart. I know I studied. I memorized SEA like shit. Well I got the lower grades I ever got for SEA. I even failed one of the essays. But you know, I still got a B. And you know what that means? That means that no matter how much I believe in God and how much I trust Him for my success, its different. Because I don't know what it is to be at the bottom. I just want to be frank here, because I know I'm really blessed. And that I should be thankful for my grades, and I am. But you are not me. And I can sympathize with you, but I cannot emphatize with you.

And that verse promises you EVERYTHING. Where else can you go where you have NOWHERE LEFT?
If you FAIL/didn't meet your expectations for your JCTs, GOD'S STRENGTH IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR WHAT YOU ARE INADEQUATE IN.
And the MORE you lack, the MORE HE CAN PROVIDE. Isn't that so exciting?
The most God can do for me is push me up to an A. What is that eh? People around me can say, Oh she put in that much effort and she got that result. She deserves it, yeah.

But you my friend, you. If the grades you are getting now are abysmal. Let me tell you this. God can give you TRIPLE FOLD. Hundred FOLD. Like what He gave Agnes, my caregroup leader. She didn't do well when she was in TJ, she nearly retained. She got EEO or DEO or something close to that for her Prelims. And she got AAB for the final thing.

There is no such thing as a lost cause.
I'm not talking about positive thinking. I'm not talking about even studying harder, or studying smarter.

I'm saying, look first to HIM. And all these things shall be ADDED unto YOU.
Ask HIM to show you, how best to study. Ask Him to show you the problem. Ask Him for the solutions, involve Him. Because He wants to be involved. But so much of the time we're busy trying to solve our problems on our own and God isn't going to barge in even though He has the better way! He respect you, He gave you free choice, He made human beings! Not ROBOTS.

So cling on to that TRUTH.
That His strength is made perfect in my WEAKNESSESS.
I would rather boast in my infirmaties because it means that there's even more room for God to make a miracle!!! (And this is one thing I myself have to believe for now because try as I might this H3 isn't as forthcoming as I would like it to be!)

Meditate on the verses, spend time with Daddy. Why? Because HE CARES. Why? Because HE LOVES YOU. HE LOVES YOU. Do you know what it means when the Creator of all the heavens and the earth and all the gold and silver and diamonds and houses and luxuries and cars LOVES YOU? How can you not succeed? HOW CAN THINGS NOT WORK OUT FOR YOU?

God is on YOUR SIDE.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?

Who shall bring a charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies.

Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

As it is written: "For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter."

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come,

nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8: 31 - 39

This is the verse I cling on to in every situation in my life. This is the verse that I have made my own. This is the verse that has become a revelation to me. This is the verse that I proclaim over my life each exam.

And even though I know it is difficult to keep your eyes on Him, do it.
I get Bs, and I already worry about not being good enough. Its rubbish, its illogical - not because I know I'm gonna be good enough. But because I know my God is BIGGER and BETTER than just good enough. Just now as I was walking home it was already difficult to TURN and talk to God because my grades were just running through my mind, how I studied so hard for SEA and I still did so badly. How I already tried to refine my Lit and I missed the A by those couple of marks. How I have 'fallen'. How I used to be so much better. How I've dropped from being near the top for History and Lit.

Hey you know what, all these are true. They are facts. But thats all they are. I can't refute that they exist now. But thats not my identity, and I REFUSE to let it be my identity. You are what you let your HEART believe yourself to be. If you let the failure get to you, it will become you.

I am what God says I am. If getting Bs affect me, that means it MEANS something to me. And if it means something to me, it means MUCH MORE to GOD.

HOW MUCH MORE any of you out there reading this who may not have done well by your standards either? Do you think God can help a B student but can't help a U, or S or E, or D or whatever student? HE'S INFINITE. There is no pareto optimality involved here. Giving me more doesn't mean you will get less. He just increases the pie and keeps increasing it.

Don't limit God.
Don't let your disappointment define you.
Go ahead and be sad, I've said it enough, I'm human too and even though I get such grades that I know I should be thankful for, I'm still affected, and thats the truth of it.

God doesn't fall off His throne when he finds out that we're being human. He doesn't come up to me and go, "How dare you be upset! You got Bs!"

And He isn't going to go up to you and condemn you for whatever grades you may have. So DON'T CONDEMN YOURSELF EITHER.

His strength is more than enough for your weaknesses. Remember that.
(:


PS: (As an afterthought, I just had to add this cause I'm in an awww fluffy mood and I'm listening to Always There (Russell Watson/Secret Garden) which is one of the most LOVERLY romantic songs I have and it always makes me feel so .

Yeah. Unfortunately thats the best pictorial representation of that particular female emotion.
So, what I wanted to say was. Do you remember the feeling when you first fell in love? When you first felt those stirrings and you thought of the sweetest things to do for the person. When you first exchanged shy glances. When you had yet to confirm each other's affections. When all you wanted to do was make him/her happy. When it was still somewhat awkward. When you both knew there was something. But something hadn't arrived. Yet.
Haha. Its so cute to watch. It makes me smile. *GRINS MANIACALLY*

Okay excuse the swooning female.. *toddles off again*

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Sunday, July 08, 2007
10:38 PM

RAHH!
For those who've never visited ieatishootipost, now would be a good time to pop by. Because if you're a true, hot blooded, food loving Singaporean, you have to go admire all the pretty pictures of food and his wide array of reviews. Its amazing. Makes me wonder how much free time doctors really have.

Anyway. Mom recently bought a new Canon IXUS 75. Its a pretty snazzy device.
Here's one of the few first shots taken.

Lizzay and Mommeh.


And because we have been neglecting them a bit and haven't been taking many shots of them...
Our little babies. Oreo (the black/white striped one) and Floppy (the lopped eared fella).


Some good ole' sista lurve, and the incriminating ACJC tee.


My adorable little cousin. X) She's just learning to talk and its so endearing.


Well anyway we celebrated Grandma's birthday tonight with a FANTABULOUS dinner at Keppel Club's Jade Palace Restaurant. The food was good and the company was great. Had loads of fun just conversing with my cousins and other relatives.

Here's all the cousins (3rd generation) with our 76 year old granny.

From left: Karyne (Sec1?), Diane (Sec2), Charlene (P5, in pink), Nathan (5?, sitting), Natalie (2?, sitting),Dorothy (27), Elizabeth (18), Jasmine (27, Ben's wife, my cousin-in-law), Ben (27, the only married one so far), Grandma (76), John (22?), Heidi/Tuheng (John's Vietnamese girlfriend), Jayne (Sec4).

So as you can see, the oldest is old enough to be parent to the youngest. Who is the darling of the family, of course.
They're a fun bunch. :) Much love.

John and Heidi were from TJC. Pretty much high flyers, the both of them. And they're REALLY SWEET. They're the most suitable, most adorable, cutest couple I have ever met. Sometimes they cycle (they meaning John cycles while she rides sitting on the back) to Dhoby Ghaut to catch a midnight show and cycle back to his place, where I think she's putting up these days since she's just started working at MAS. Ahh. They just look so good together. (:

Ben's the only married one so far, but it was still amusing. When my aunt (his mom) arrived, she was still all "You sick ah, boy? What did you have for lunch? Porridge? You hungry or not, want to order something? Come, drink water first."

He looked so embarassed and I think his wife pretty much tried not to watch. Its pretty different, Ben and John. John does everything for Tuheng, peel loads of prawns for her, makes sure he gets food on her plate before his own, etc. Okay la its just sweet. And she's the kind of girl you wouldn't mind doing such stuff for. She's really sweet and bubbly and fun to be around with.

Okay so dinner was fantastic. It was the a la carte buffet type. We had at least 5 to 6 types of fish, and we called some dishes twice. Overall I think we had 6 types of fish, 4 types of pork, 1 chicken, 2 tofu, 1 peking duck skin wrapped in the floury thing, ee fu mian, 2 types of tofu, chili crab & man tou, a gianormous plate of prawns, shark's fin... etc etc. And oh, nice desert too. And a bit o' durian after that (as well as birthday cake) to sum up the night.

Haven't eaten so much in a LONG, long time.
But it felt good and was good and I really enjoyed myself. Even though I'm currently filled with enough food to last me the next 2 days at least (lawls).

And more sista zilianing.
We took a lot but Sis claims this one is nice though I think I looked better in most of the other pictures (but she didn't, shhhhhh).

We go through various stages. Sometimes I look a lot like her, sometimes I don't. This is one of those periods where I don't.

Can't believe there's school again tomorrow. Back to trying to do my H3. God, give me the inspiration and motivation and intellegence to write this 3000 paper!


In other, less important news, I've been wearing GREEEEEN for the past 2 days because Live Earth is a good excuse to put on my favourite colour.

And oh, Rene posted this on Friendster (I don't normally read the bulletins, really). But I thought this was really quite hilarious so I'm gonna post it here.

Psychoanalyze Yourself.
Answer the following questions with the first
thought that comes to mind. Then read
which each answer means. (No cheating!)

1. You are not alone. You are walking
in the woods. With who?
- Jason.

2. You are walking in the woods. You
see an animal. What kind?
- Rabbits!

3. What interaction takes place between
you and the animal?
- I'll pick it up and hug it. (:

4. You walk deeper in the woods. You
enter a clearing and before you is your
dream house. Describe it?
- Well I'm in the woods right? Gingerbread house! =X

5. Is your dream house surrounded by a
fence?
- Of course not.

6. You enter the house. You walk in to
the dining room and see the dining room
table. Whats on it?
- Food and a large silver candlestick holder.

7. You exit the house and a cup is on
the ground, what kind is it?
- A medevial wooden goblet.

8. What do u do with the cup?
- Pick it up and examine it.

9. You walk to the edge of the property
where you find yourself standing at the
edge of a body of water. What kind of
body of water is it?
- A huge lake.

10. How will you cross the water?
- By boat! Its really large and wide. (:

NOW WHAT IT ALL MEANS.
DONT READ THIS IF YOU HAVENT FINISHED
YET!!!









---------------------------------------

1. The person who you are walking in
the woods with is the most important
person in your life.

2. The size of the animal is
representative of your perception of
the size of your problems in your life.
(So I have small problems? LOL)

3. The severity of the interaction you
have with the animal is representative
of how you deal with your problems.
(I EMBRACE my problems?)

4. The size of your dream home is
representative of the size of your
ambition to solve your problems.
(o_O Gingerbread house? =x)

5. A lack of a fence is indicative of
an open personality. People are
welcome at all times. The presence of
a fence indicates a closed
personality. You'd prefer people not
drop by unannounced.

6. If your answer did NOT include food,
flowers, or people, then you are
generally unhappy.

7. The durability of the material with
the cup is made of is representative of
the perceived durability of your
relationship.

8. Your disposition of the cup is
representative of your attitude.
(Me picking up the cup=?)

9. The size of the body of water is
representative of the size of your
sexual desire.
(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA)

10. How wet you get in crossing the
water is indicative of the relative
importance of your sex life.
(OH so I have a large sexual desire but
think it unimportant. RIGHT.)


Okay. Amusement over.
LOL.

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Friday, July 06, 2007
8:34 PM

Hullo. The past two days have been rather miserable downright horrible.

Except for the interlude in which I watched Transformers with Jason. The show was very, very nice. I enjoyed it tremendously. Wouldn't mind catching it again. It was such a fun show. Was unconsciously grabbing his arm most of the time, but it was all so enthralling, I couldn't help it. Bumblebee is the most heartwarming autobot ever. And Sergeant Lennox was rather adorable, but only when sweaty and dirty. When he's clean he rather resembles Ryan Seacrest, which does not bring vocabulary such as 'hot', to mind. Surprisingly he was Danny in Las Vegas, and Tad Hamilton, whom I never found hot. So I guess its just the uniform and grime that makes him look somewhat hot.



Other movies I'm really looking forward to:
The Dark is Rising. I LOVED that Susan Cooper series.
The Golden Compass.
STARDUST. Gaiman LOVE.

And the final Potter book. More than the movie, anyway.

Yup. Otherwise, the past day has been filled with more tears than I feel inclined to elaborate on. I just know that I haven't cried this hard or this much in possibly, a year. Extremely tired, not physically, but my mind feels like its sliding someplace nasty, some place I used to know and am in no hurry to be reacquainted with.

I've not been spending much time with Daddy lately. Been letting a lot of my own whims claim my time and attention. And when the trigger events happened, I didn't have the strength.

Galatians 3:5
Therefore He who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you, does He do it by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith? —

It is grace that puts me here. It is not my works, it is not what I do, or what I have done. I get only the best because I have JESUS. No other reason. Not because I have intellect. Not because I knew or did not know how to do my exams. I EXPECT GOOD. Because my Jesus will never fail me. He never did. And He's already given me the victory for this.

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Tuesday, July 03, 2007
8:01 PM

Hello dear blog.

Incidents, over the past few days have prevented me from blogging. *coughs lightly*

In the realm of my H3 development, not much has been done. Spent many, many hours in the airport yesterday and all I ended up with after 6 hours was 200 words and deep settled mind numbing exhaustion.

BUT. Spoke to RANNALD today. And he helped me form a pretty tight structure. HOPEFULLY. Everything he told me is still in my mind. Currently.. it isn't. And I may break out into a panic soon. :S

In other news, reality still feels mildly suspended in holiday mode - haven't had school for five days now. Today didn't really count - we went to school, a half-day was announced, I don't even remember what for. Mr Tong looked really disgruntled with the noise level we were emitting while Mrs Loke was rambling into the mike. But in the spirit of the half-day he didn't say anything about it the same way he usually would.

So basically, I haven't really had school since it closed in Term 2. Coming back for the exams wasn't actually what I'll call school.

Shopping.
Well I've had lots of time to do that, and I must say I'm satisfyingly sated... almost. Well at least the craving aching neeeeed to participate in 1) the GSS 2) before the GST hike has been met.
Started shopping even before the exams started - crazily enough, yes. I was doing alot of crazy things before the exams started. Like beaching myself in a resort in Sentosa sun-tanning by the pool. And going for the Mango 50% sale on the Sunday just before Term 3 commenced.

;D

So, the spoils of my combined shopping spree (which I continued on this recent long weekend that I've enjoyed):
5 items from Mango - 3 tops, 1 bottom and 1 bag in total.
1 top from Zara
1 bag from a pushcart stall
5 items from Topshop - 3 pairs of earrings, 1 necklace, 1 bracelet

And all at 30% to 70% off. *beams*
I only buy stuff when it's worth it okay.. I do not indiscriminately purchase everything I lay my eyes on. Lol.

And oh, BOOKS!
Spent $50 of my remaining $90 worth of Kino vouchers as well. It was $55 worth of books, actually.

5 trashy Chinese shoujo manga. 3 of which were readable, 2 of which incomprehensible. Why did I buy it, you say? The cover nice what. *looks around hopelessly* The inadequacy of my Chinese capabilities is no secret to anyone, and I really can't read the blurbs that are in fan ti zi even though the content is in jian ti zi. So. Pretty boys on cover, looks promising and not too horny, I buy. *nods*

I finally bought 1602, Neil Gaiman's alternate universe comic in which all the Marvel characters - Fantastic Four, Captain America, X-Men, etc exist, instead, in Elizabethan 1602 England. 'Tis really good, like all of Gaiman's stuff, of course.

And Gaiman's Fragile Things - a collection of short stories. I've read about two-fifths of it. And its really, really good. Oh man I can so totally see us dissecting Gaiman for Lit. There is SO MUCH in it we can analyse. When are they ever going to acknowledge him as mainstream Literature? Well, formally that is. We already know he's brilliaaaaaaaaant.

Woo.
SO. Fulfilling. And I'm satisfied to the point that I don't even feel like shopping anymore. Lol. (For now.)

Was bored today, but ended up going down to the National Library with Mifa, Soef and Ran anyway. Was under the assumption that I had already exhausted all the material on Satire that I could possibly need from that Reference section. BUT BY DIVINE INTERVENTION. And I believe that it was divine, they had a new book. FRESH. 2007. A Companion to Satire from Ancient to Modern. Rannald waggled it at me from between the bookshelves and boy was I excited. Thank you JESUS! Almost didn't go to the Lib, but I'm glad God tugged me there anyway. (:

And oh, today's Daily Devotions is REALLY powerful.

Choose Not To Worry

Matthew 6:27
Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

Many Christians are familiar with Jesus’ rhetorical question, “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?” But not many of us actually let it get into our hearts and allow the love of God to free us from our habit of worrying.

The truth is, no amount of worrying can lengthen your life or add anything to your physical person. Instead, worrying robs you of sleep, health and many good years. In fact, it is only when you are worry-free that God’s anointing flows freely in you, strengthening, healing, restoring and adding to you.

A church member, after undergoing a mammogram, found lumps in her breast. Upon receiving the doctor’s report, she immediately wrote this down on the report: “Jesus is my healer. I receive my healing. I am healed. I rest in God completely.”

She was due to go back to the clinic on the same day in the late afternoon for a biopsy to see if the lumps were malignant. Her sister-in-law, who was having lunch with her that day, witnessed her cheerful and worry-free attitude while she was eating her lunch.

Back at the doctor’s clinic, this precious sister sat among other ladies who were also there for their biopsies. They looked very worried, so she started sharing Jesus with them and prayed for some of them. When her turn came to do an ultrasound scan, the doctor was puzzled — her scan showed no evidence of any lumps!

She went back to consult the doctor who had first discovered the lumps. Stunned, both doctors conducted their own investigation to see if a mistake had been made. They returned to her only to say, “It is a miracle!”

My friend, when you worry, you are actually believing that the devil has the power to make inroads into your life that God cannot protect you from. But when you refuse to worry, you are putting faith in God. You have more confidence in God’s love and power working for you than in the devil’s ability to harm you! When you refuse to worry but choose to rest in the finished work of Christ, you will see the manifestation of your blessing. You will see your miracle.

(:



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