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Monday, November 14, 2005
9:28 PM

You are the Lord, in whom I can trust.
You are the rock I can stand upon.
Every step of the way, you take my hand and say,
"I will always be there right beside you."
When I call on you I know you'd come to me.

You are my Lord
In whom I can trust.
You are my fortress,
You're my deliver.
My shield, my strength.

For all of my days,
I'd place my hope in Jesus.
Who loved me with His life,
The rock of my salvation,
In whom I can trust.

Beautiful, beautiful song.. Listening to Kitz's rendition of the song now.. The cymbals have always amused me, but the song is still nonetheless very true, and very real in my life.

My God is the rock I stand on, He is the one I call on in time of need. It is He who loves me. And not the other way around.


This entry may or may not get posted. Liz just feels like scratching past the surface today, going back what everyone seems to know as 'Lizzy'.

Many a times I have bitten back the urge to blog about certain issues. Why? Becuse "I'm a Christian". Many people already have pre-determined mindsets of 'how a Christian should behave', and 'what a Christian should do'.

Pastor Chin was right about one thing. Us as Christians, or maybe its just me, we're always zealous for Christ. We always want to show the world 'a good impression of Christianity', and in the process sometimes come across as a tree full of swinging monkeys on nitrous oxide (see Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman).

A lot of times I've found myself holding back words that I want to say, emotions that I want to express, things that I want to rant and scream about because of the pathetic notion that 'if people see you, a Christian, behaving like that, they'd have the impression that you're a bad Christian.'

I don't know how many people feel this way, but I don't think I stand alone in this. There is often much conflict within me, whenever I want to lash out at somebody, whenever I'm irritated, whenever I'm pissed. Instead I find myself more often than not withdrawing from everything and everyone whenever these emotions try to take over. I'd pray in tongues, I'd just give my worship to Him, because I desperately want to keep my mouth shut if I'm not going to say anything that edifies His name, not because I can control myself from feeling angry or sad but because I don't want to 'lose it'.

What is 'losing it'? Not hitting the mark. Failing. Oops I cursed, I swore at my teacher, I wished so-and-so was dead, etc. This is one area of my life that I believe God has, by His grace, delivered me from. My God is the God of 'I am', He is here now. And the manifestations of His great love for me are taking place here and now because He loves me and He bought me by the blood of Christ on the cross.

Sometimes I feel that because I choose to remain silent, because I choose not to fight back, the more I don't say anything, the more I feel like the choking, pressing fingers of my aggressor grips tighting on my neck, choking me, driving me to the edge of the cliff even though I know that I am stronger than the other. I know that if I so much as pushed back, I would triumph. But I do not.

Why? Because I'm afraid, I'm afraid to be bitchy, to be able to tell someone to 'Piss off and get a life' when I'm frustrated with how I'm being treated. I don't want to be a people pleaser. I don't want to live my life by how others view me. I want to live a life for Christ, and I know that even in all these things He sees me through.

Prayer. Prayer is very important to me, because I know no matter how much I bite my tongue and keep my silence, no matter how easily I get over my irritation (only to have it resurface when the situation is brought up again), nothing compares to the power of the Holy Spirit who makes intercession on my behalf at the Father's throne.

Who am I? What can I accomplish on my own? I am nothing. My grades mean nothing if I don't have God's favour. A job with a $15, 000 pay would mean nothing if my life was empty. My successes ain't gonna be depedent on how great I've done academically, my future is secure only because my God is for me. He is my Abba, He loves me. And He wants to make things easy for me. His burden is easy, and His yolk is light. Happiness chases after me. I do not need to chase after happiness, because in Him I have JOY. I have PEACE. I have LIFE.


I just want to be able to stand up. I feel boneless, I feel inadequate, being pushed around, taking those words like they don't mean a thing. Biting back words to save myself from the trouble that would come if I so much as stepped one toe out of line.

Masking my irritation behind a quiet facade of tolerance.


I'm an individual who normally doesn't give a damn about very much, nor bothers to get worked up about many things until it has reached a point of severity where if it gets bad, it gets really bad.

I don't know, certain people have the impression that I'm fake. Either because I'm always going on in this giddy, happy high mood about a God seems too wonderful to be real, or because I 'try to live a Christian life' and be a goody-two-shoes people pleaser.

Either scenarios, I realize right now in my tiredness that I do not care.
I'm sure I used to.
But by His grace, by His finished work, by His shed blood for every sin that I have committed, and have yet to commit, and not by any invisible magic power that Lizzy wields in her hand, I call my life blessed regardless of who says what, who thinks what, and who has negative impressions of me and my existence.

Have been listening to a few of Pastor Prince's CDs lately. There's one message that has come across very clearly, more than once, of late.

"The words that the people of this world speak against you hold no power over your life as long as you don't believe them."

I believe what my God says about my life. Not about what other people think they know about me.

-time check, 10.13PM because Liz is watching Project Runway. Hehe. You should watch it too. (:-


Anyway... there ain't much in the way of wanting to justify myself. This is me, say hello. =)
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Sunday, November 13, 2005
11:33 PM

Mmmmmmmm.~

Was feeling quite pissy just now. So glad for grace. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. (:

Update on schedule;
There's JC worship at West Coast (WHERE?!) on the 10th of Dec, and Eucharistia(?) on the 17th. Mm.. Ter's, Yenn Weii's, Liying's and Saxophone's Day on the 12th.

MMm..

"I will restore to you the years the locusts have eaten."
"You redeem your past by making good use of the present."

"I am that I am."
He is, not just was or is to come.
He is here. He is now.

Learn to enjoy the present, because thats why my Jesus is. (:

Don't postpone your love. If you love them, tell them. Don't postpone your enjoyment.
Enjoy now.
Don't worry about tomorrow.
LOVELOVELOVE.

I miss many people.
I miss Krys. I miss Schwa. I miss Floss. I miss spending time with you guys.

I miss Chou, I miss Lex, I miss Eric. Its been a while.

I LOVE YOU ALL! <3~

I will be still and know my Lord is God.



HE CARRIED MY CARES AND MY WORRIES!
No 'What Ifs', no 'If Onlys'.
HE has REDEEMED me from every worry. And has CROWNED me today with PEACE.

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Saturday, November 12, 2005
11:32 PM

Hello diary… I shall write everything down.Everything. Thoughts.Events. Dreams…I shall confide my secrets. Only to you. -Dreams of Anne Frank, Bernard Kops

I find myself suddenly faced with the high standards and expectations that is to be ACJC's Drama Elective programme.

We've to do a Modern and a Classical piece for the auditions, and Liz is admittably not particularly well-read. She is slightly abashed to say that she has not read any of Shakespeare's pieces save for 'The Merchant of Venice', of which she believes she was the abridged version that held residence on her bookshelf many years ago.

Other than the fact that I barely know the of the struggles that ensued between the Capulets, Montagues and the tragic demise of the two ill-fated lovers, there is close to nothing of Romeo and Juliet that I am aware of.

Still, the more daunting the challenge, the more interesting this will make for interpretion. My mind has been made up and my choice has been made.

No matter where I go, I will prosper. Not because of who I am, but because of whose I am. I belong to God. My Jesus lives in me. My life is blessed because of His finished work on the cross, and thats that.

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10:08 AM

Step One: Make a post (Public, Friendslocked, Filtered... Whatever you're comfortable with!) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 GEEKY holiday wishes; the wishes can be anything at all, from simple ("I want a fanfic!") to medium ("I want toys!") to really big ("I want a WACOM tablet/digital camera/good fan fic"). The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or the MaccaBee, or your secret special friend) could get in touch with you. Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two: Surf around your friendslist (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part: If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have an extra of a certain toy, or a gift certificate you won't use, or access to a REALLY AWESOME fan-artist who just might be convinced to apply their skills to some seriously WRONG illustrated smut, do it...

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not; it's your call! There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just... Wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special...

What Lizzy Wants for Christmas this Year.. :x (Mostly material, really.)
1. To spend time with my family.
2. To spend time with the friends that I've come to know and love these past four years, especially the last two.
3. That adorable sheep from Nicci.
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy DVD.
5. A new collar for Jerry.
...

Woah I think I'd have a lot of trouble trying to make this 10 cause I'm already so blessed that I can't think of anything I need or want that hasn't been fulfilled. o_O


ANYWAY!!!
Christmas is coming!
You can leave your name and addresses here if you'd like to be on my Christmas card list for this year, all comments are moderated, which means no one else but yours truly will be able to view your address, no worries. ^^




CHRISTMAS IS IN THE AIR!~~~
Happyhappyjoyjoymyfavouritetimeoftheyearwhoopppeeeeee.

X)

Have started making my 'To Buy For' list. So exciting.. :D



Oh yeah, and may I add that Apple is so scarily efficient that I cannot help but applaud their efficiency? I ordered my external iPod charger (to bring to Aussie since I can't possibly lug my whole desktop along with me) online on Thursday night, and by Friday afternoon, the Apple guy was outside my door attempting to get someone to sign for it outside an empty house (for there I was in school sitting for my Lit paper). So he just came over about half an hour ago to give to me. *stares in awe* Oh how we all love Apple, no matter how much they overcharge us for their pretty pretty iPod accessories... :D~~~



Oh yes, have I mentioned that I have the best Mom in the entire universe?
Was stuck in a REALLY REALLLLLLLY bad jam trying to get to Bible Study last night. Spent half an hour crawling my way from the bus-stop before Suntec to the Suntec one itself. THE CARS WERE ABSOLUTELY STAGNANT.. -_-"

So yes, Mom and I couldn't get to Suntec at all (she was coming from the opposite direction in her car from the office) so we headed down to this nice place near Bugis, just your average coffee shop, and had good ban mian.

Beforewhich I was introduced to her new Samsumg E630 which is actually quite nice to use. I can't remember, is it the phone Vera has/had? o_O But its not bad. And she got me a new Starhub line cause I was exceeding my current M1 one by leaps and bounds. (Currently has 700 free smses with M1 but last month's bill was nearly 1600 messages.) So now I have a new Starhub plan with free incoming all day (the M1 one only had free incoming from 7am - 7pm) and 1000 more smses. Mom is cool. @__@


We went to Bugis and Mom went slightly off her rocker in a most unbelievable manner. You know how much noise my Mom has been making about 'Please lah I don't want you to spend so much money on prom, buy clothes that you will never wear again blahblahblah', and I was just telling God that 'argh I want to wear something nice for prom! Mom's been going on as though I might as well wrap a towel around myself and go there declaring that its a dress.' So there we were, and we just walked into Topshop because Lizzy, having been conditioned in recent months by her dear friend Rene, has turned into quite an avid window shopper.

Saw this rather nice dress, and Mom was feeling enthu enough to ask me to try it on. (It costs $89 by the way.) So I did, and then she decided I looked gorgeous in it and she proceeded to buy it for me.

.
.
.
My mom, after months of incessantly reminding me that she didn't want me spending unneccessary money on 'prom things insert digusted face here', bought me a dress for prom. *was in awe*

Mom's cool can? I don't really understand her but she's cool. *nods head in slight uncomprehension* God is good anyway. I don't need to understand how he works, but he makes all things right for me. Lol.


And she has agreed to let me do my hair. Yippee yay.

K lah, think I shall go do a bit of amaths now. Going to the airport briefly later before CG. o_O

Gonna miss my CG... :\

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Friday, November 11, 2005
11:05 PM

Just so I can get my itinary in check..

12 Nov - Study, caregroup, buy _. Mana's birthday
13 Nov - Church, upgrade starhub line.
14 Nov - Study
15 Nov - Amath paper 1, Mel's bday
16 Nov - Study
17 Nov - Amath paper 2, POTTER.
18 Nov - Hist Modern(LAST PAPER!), POTTER! PS: Make trip to Kino.
19 Nov - TANNING.
20 Nov - Church
21 Nov - Mel's chalet
22 Nov - Mel's chalet, SPH camp, Potter with Himi and Rish, Krin's and Aien's birthdays
23 Nov - SPH camp, go back to school collect records, ACJC Band tune-in
24 Nov - SPH camp, AC drama audition, church Media Comms dinner night
25 Nov - Do hair, do make-up, prom
26 Nov - ? I'm sure there was something............. =_=
27 Nov - Fly to Aussie
29 Nov - Hwee's birthday
04 Dec - Return from Aussie
05 Dec - Band chalet




OMG. =_=

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Wednesday, November 09, 2005
9:37 PM

Whee! Fast entry.

Was coming home from Payar Lebar, as bus 155 was apporaching Telok Kurau, it started to pour. And there Lizzy was, sitting in the bus with Pastor Darren's Campus message plugging on my iPod mini, praying in tongues and just enjoying the quiet of having just me and my Jesus.

As I looked at the rain streaking down the sides of the windows, I just smiled to myself, and I knew, I just knew that somehow, some way, God wouldn't let me get drenched as I crossed that road from the bus-stop to my house.

Its unexplicable, and its not a coincidence.

I was just enjoying God's presence, and I just felt His love so greatly for me that I didn't need to worry about how I would cross the road when I got home in a few minutes. He was going to get me home dry, and He did.

Just as the bus turned at East Coast and streaked past St Patricks, the downpour was abruptly reduced to a light drizzle. Amazingly, I stepped out of the bus, streaked with rivets of rainwater and glanced about. The road shimmered with great puddles of water, the aftermath of heavy rain. But there was merely a drizzle. A drizzle that barely left droplets on my brilliantly green pinafore.

There isn't much to say to it, but thank you Abba, for sheltering my way home. :)

And you know the cool bit? Sis just came home a few minutes ago, and the minute she stepped into the house, it began to absolutely pour again outside. THANK GOD! And she had made a detour to Siglap because I implored her to grab some cat food. Poor Jerry hasn't had any in 2 days because we ran out of chow on Monday.

God is good.
I can't deny it. (:
Be critical all you want, but my God is real! He's very real in my life. And He loves me so, so much. <3~

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Sunday, November 06, 2005
10:17 PM

They played this in church quite a few months ago. Its really beautiful.

Ray Boltz - Watch the Lamb

Walking on the road to Jerusalem
The time had come to sacrifice again
My two small sons they walked beside me down the road
The reason that they came was to watch the lamb

They said, Daddy, daddy what will we see there
There’s so much that we don’t understand
So I told them of Moses and Father Abraham
And then I said dear children watch the lamb

There will be so many in Jerusalem today
We must be sure this little lamb doesn’t run away
And I told them of Moses and Father Abraham
And then I said dear children watch the lamb

When we reached the city I knew something must be wrong
There were no joyful worshippers there were no joyful worship songs
And I stood there with my children in the midst of angry men
Then I heard the crowd cry out,
Let’s crucify Him

We tried to leave the city but we could not get away
Forced to play in this drama a part I did not want to play
Why upon this day were men condemned to die
Why were we standing right here where soon they would pass by

I look and I said even now they come
The first one cried for mercy, the people gave him none
The second one was violent and he was arrogant and loud
I still can hear his angry voice screaming at the crowd

Then someone said there’s Jesus and I scarce believed my eyes
A man so badly beaten He barely looked alive
Blood poured from His body from the thorns on His brow
Running down the cross and falling to the ground
I watched Him as He struggled and I watched Him when He fell
The cross came down upon His back, the crowd began to yell
In that moment I felt such agony in that moment I felt such loss

Until a Roman soldier grabbed my arm and screamed "you carry His cross"
At first I tried to resist him but his hand reached for his sword
And so I knelt and I took the cross from the Lord
I put it on my shoulder we started down the street
The blood that He’d been shedding was running down my cheek

They led us to Golgotha they drove nails deep in His feet and hands
On the cross I heard Him pray "Father forgive them"
Never have I seen such love in any other eyes
"Into They hands I commit My spirit" He prayed and then He died

I stood for what seemed like years lost all sense of time
Then I felt these little hands holding on to mine
My children stood there weeping and I heard the oldest say
Father please forgive us the lamb ran away

Daddy, daddy what have we seen here
There’s so much that we don’t understand
So I took them in my arms we turned and faced the cross
And I said dear children Watch the Lamb

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9:53 PM

My soul waits in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory and rest; The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. (Psalms 62:5-8)


I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
And I don't borrow from its sunshine
'Cause the skies might turn to grey.

And I don't worry about the future,
'Cause I know what Jesus said,
And today I'm gonna walk right beside him
'Cause he's the one who knows what is ahead.

There are things about tomorrow
That I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

And each step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb.
And every burden is getting lighter
And all the clouds are silver lined.

And, over there the sun is always shining
And no tears will ever dim the eye
And the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains, they touch the sky.

There are many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.
Yes I know who holds my hand.


I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

"Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened." (Matthew 7:7-8)


No prayer will ever go unanswered.
Because the Holy Spirit makes intercession for me.
My advocate is always there to make sure that I receive 100% of the blessings that my Jesus died to give me.

Lord, you are so, so good to me. No matter what happens tomorrow.. God.. you never let me go. Your thoughts were of me as you hung on that cross. For me you died, and for me you gave. And that is why I rest in you... because there's no way you can ever disappoint me.. Your promises are never empty.. and I am secure. So safe in your arms..

You hold my tomorrow.. and because I am in your hands.. I never need to be afraid, I have no reason to fear.. because you lord, are my glory and the lifter of my head..

YOU ARE MY LORD.
IN YOU I TRUST.
And in you alone... What is the wisdom of man? Nothing compared to you Lord.. And in you all my prayers are answered.. in you my life is perfect.. is complete.. Thank you Lord.. that no matter what the world does or thinks of me is unimportant because I know my rest is in YOU!

I'm living for YOU. To live is Christ.
I only like you Lord. And I only love you because you first loved me..

My love for you will never amount to the love you have for me.. and because of thatI thank you Lord, that you love me and you bless me not based on my love for you.. or on how much I do.. BUT BECAUSE GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD. That He gave His only begotten son so that I, a sinner, the filth of the earth.. might LIVE..

I can never comprehend your love for me.. but Lord, all I can say is.. thank you. Thank you that in spite of me, in spite of what I AM... You saw me.. and you saved me.. you took me into your embrace and made me YOURS..

Thank you Lord..
Let me live this life that your glory might be seen through me..

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5:24 PM

WHEE.

CHRISTMAS IS COMING! *throws confetti*

Time to make shopping list..
Can't wait. *dreamy, faraway look*


So much to see so much to doooo~

Mom is finally, against all probable odds going to allow me to highlight my hair for Prom (yay!) although blue is out of the question. :(

Shall be going to highlight/cut it on the 25th itself, which led dear Rish to comment that I must really trust the dude to go cut my hair on the day itself.
And Rish has willingly agreed to do my makeup for Prom. (: (: (: I love Rish. *many many hearts* Friends like her do not make their appearances in my life very often, so I thank God very very much that he has blessed my life with friends like her. X3

Alright, I have purchased Harry Potter tickets. Just to confirm attendance:
01 Von
02 Wy
03 Rene
04 Mel (?)
05 Zhaoey
06 Char
07 Jo O
08 Jo W
09 Sonia
10 Joce
11 Joy
12 Mich
13 Sher

Righters? SGD$9.50, payable in pairs, exact amount please! (:
9.30PM show at GV Marina, 18th November 2005. Probably meeting around 8.00PM for dinner at Carl's Junior (Rene wants Thai Express, so please vote. =x) and possibly a few games of pool before that. Hehehe.

Do you all not feel joy? Its 12 days to liberation!! Woo!
This is the last leg of our 2 year race. Just 12 more days to go!

WE CAN DO IT! >:D

All the best everyone. And for all my fellow sisters and brothers in Christ, all HIS best!
Because even the weakness of God is stronger than man, and the foolishness of God wiser than man.


WE SHALL NOT BE WEARY.
For our God is for us, who can bring a charge against God's elect? For it is by His death, His shed blood, that we have been justified.

LOVELOVELOVE.
12 more days..
and 11 to Potter! <333333333~

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Saturday, November 05, 2005
11:33 PM

Worthy is the Lamb... seated on the throne.. crown Him now with many crowns..


Lord.. you are so good to me.
Not because of the good I do.. not because of the bad I do.. not because I do enough, more than enough, less than what I should.

Not because I'm good.
But because I'm not.
Because I cannot.
Because my intelligence is nothing compared to what your grace can do for me.

Who am I? That you should lay down your life for me..
But you did.. And yes, I'm undeserving. My flesh is undeserving.

No matter how imperfect I am, Lord, you are my perfection.
Christ died that I might live.

And live I will.
My life is His.
Lord, let your glory be seen in me.
That it is not of my own but of you.

You're worth more than the most precious jewels. Than any amount of approval from my friends. More than any quantity of love that human acceptance can buy me.

Because I have You. I have everything.




Anyway. On to other things. Whats this I hear about long-term rumours that Rene and I are together? I mean of all the ridiculous rumours that people could come up with? Think the worst one was still about me and Jod being together. But Rene comes close.

We've known each other for ten years. I buy matching stuff with my good friends. I have matching earrings with Himi and Rish. Wait, I have lots of matching things with Himi and Rish.

What did we use to buy? Matching shirts.. earrings.. handphone pouches.. badges.. I mean.. practically everything we bought for each other we'd buy matchy matchy stuff.

Yeah Rene and I have the same $59.90 Billabong bags, cept that hers is purple and mine is black. And we have earrings, and anklets, and whatnots.. but so? *blinks incredulously at the spawn that results from a TKGian education*

I can't ever imagine being with Rene. Horrors. She's already got a guppy and a monkey.

And Liz has a God who is more than sufficient, better than any girlfriend or boyfriend I could ever have. HIS love for me is unchallenged. He'd win hands down anytime. Don't even think of trying to replace my Jesus from my life, not because of my love for Him, but because of His love for me.

Anyway yes. Just for the record, Rene and I share a very platonic relationship, occasionally assisting each other in the stalking of our various definitions of the word 'cute' and just basically, being girls. Which includes shopping, clothes, slippers and gossiping. Of course.

The probablity that you would ever see the both of us in the throes of coupledom is about as likely as you being able to surive an hour without oxygen. Which is to say, zero.

Alright. I want to sleep already.
-waves-

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9:57 AM

Okay. Because I plonked myself in the toilet reading Jason Hahn for over 20 minutes, I now have a grand total of fifteen minutes left to procure an entry of great intelligence, change, comb my hair and put on my contact lenses in order to get to Suntec by 11am. Lol!

Although punctuality has yet to be (by God's grace it shall) firmly integrated into my daily routine, I still do make an attempt to leave the house at the appointed hour you know....


Alright. Wanted to blog last night but The Day After Tomorrow on Star Movies was a more enticing distraction. My recent lack of entries is not due to Lizzy finding great interest in the remains of her Bio textbook, but more of her having found more interesting things to do on her beloved computer.


Hmm. You know, how come I never knew anything about Humanities Scholarship application until last Thursday huh? Huh?!

In any case, the scholarship doesn't look at rosy as I thought it was. Sure there's no bond, but Humanities scholars are greatly encouraged upon completion of their 'A' level course to pursue another government scholarship - one of the PSC ones that come attached with 4 or 6 year bonds depending on whether you choose to torture your brain in a local university or an overseas one.

I mean, I love my government and all.. but I can't imagine myself ever being... a scholar. *cringes* Criteria-wise, my grades and CCA records would probably qualify me (except for Chinese, possibly =x) and I have a modest share of related awards that would probably be beneficial as well.

But, the pressure! I hate being pressured to do well. And whats more, being a scholar (I'm thinking a bit far here) means that I'd represent the government. And what would that mean? I can't make cynical blog posts anymore because someone somewhere will be able to find a way to make my words sound as though they're dripping with utterly malicious content and I have to watch my behaviour everywhere I go.

The worst part being, okay so this scholarship is small compared to the post 'A' level ones, but I mean, how early does the government start keeping tabs on their 'potential public service sector' brigh young lads of future? (Read your Sec4 SS textbook. Looking Ahead.)

And also, Lizzy is by nature, one who couldn't care less about competition (except it was exciting to see what projects Von and I could come up with last year because Von has always been brilliant) and generally has had a very 'square' impression of scholars to begin with. (I mean, look at those scholars from our school, can?)

This post wasn't meant to be degrade government scholarships and yadda yadda blah. I mean if you're the next Vivian Balakrishnan and destined for greater things such as being Minister of Manpower or something than by all means go ahead and ace the 'A's with nine inhuman distinctions and go on and do your thangg.

But Lizzy?
Politics?
Public sector? :
Nooo. >_< I think the furthest I'd go to working for any government agencies would be SPH. But that about borders on 'You crazy ah!' already.


Guhh.
Anyhow. LATE ALREADY!
Raining again.
z00t.

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Wednesday, November 02, 2005
11:17 PM

PHEW.
Finally.

Getting it configured was easy.
Getting it to pop-up was not.

Anyway its up now. *points excitely at her brand-new RadioBlog thingamajig*

Go see go see!
Hope it doesn't eat up too much bandwidth. Am realizing that the year is coming to an end once more, and I might have to give up blank-space soon. Aron doesn't seem to be doing very much with it. And all Lizzy is doing is chomping up the space and bandwidth. (Especially since I didn't even pay for this year's hosting. My dear Aron paid for it in whole as a Christmas present of sorts.)

So yes.. from an outsider's point of view, it may seem very cool to share hosting. But after a grand total of two years, let me sum it up that the both of us have done a pathetic amount of work with the space we've bought, and our main page at http://blank-space.net has not been touched or even acknowledged since Aron completed the layout early last year when we first got hosting.

Don't know how I shall be paying for hosting after that, since I don't think my Mom is going to willingly fork out $150 for me on her credit card just for webspace. (Liz doesn't have a cash problem, she just has a method problem.)

Of course, I'm saying all this on the assumption that we're not going to continue hosting next year. Haven't discussed it with Aron or anything, but I think it wouldn't be fair to go through another year wasting all that precious space and me taking up most of bandwidth.


Ah. But we'd deal with that in a month or so, I guess.

Back to my RadioBlog!
Now you can listen to more than one song that I've been shortlisting to play on my blog at one go. (:

And you won't have to put yourself through the mp3s that play on automatic if you don't want to either.

Fwehh.
Comment please, so I'd know what to do in future with that RadioBlog of mine.
Any requests? :D
(Subject to mood and availability.) XP

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9:45 PM

Mmm.

Had a great dinner with Mom. And she bought me a brilliant Dixieland Swing Jazz CD that I'm enjoying right now.

I was just utterly salivating at That CD Shop in Tiong Bahru Plaza.. Everything there's just so.. *___* I WANTS! *fawns*

OH YES! Plugging a roaringly amusing site that I came across on another friend's LJ yesterday.
The Students' Sketchpad
They've done hilarious takes on RGS, SCGS and whatnot. And the Communist one is really funny, but not everyone seems to get it.

Wouldn't really know which one in particular to recommend, but they're all really funny. There's a lil' joke on King of the Castle in Choices, but I doubt they'd ever do a take on TKGS because simply put - we're not notorious enough.

Nyek nyek nyek.
More later.
Trying to configure Radio Blog.

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Tuesday, November 01, 2005
9:36 PM

Mm. Thought U2's Vertigo would be fitting for this layout since it is, after all, iPod-themed.

But I've just managed to get Robert Post's Got None.. :P

Maybe I should put it up to entertaing Rene and Mel.... Nah.

And so I fall into the open
Just singing out your name

I'm quite in love with Starsailor's Four to the Floor melody. Unfortunately, the lyrics are very 'Huh?' so I don't quite feel like playing it on my blog.

Four to the floor I was sure, never seeing clear,
I could have it all whenever you are near.

Four to the floor I was sure, that you would be my girl,
we'd rent a little world, have a little girl.

So yes, I've no idea what the song is going on about but it just sounds nice. You can hear it on their website here. Rene says Silence is Easy is nice, but on a general take I don't really understand what the band is singing about at all. They sound catchy enough though. *shrugs*

Hmm. Eating Hari Raya tidbits that Mom's friend brought over. I came home to find my kitchen mounted with pineapple tarts and other things that I only know how to eat but don't know how to name.


Mom cooked a sumptious meal for me tonight. (:
Sumptious in Lizzy definitions. Of course.
You have no idea how happy it made me feel to just have a bowl full of stir-fried bean sprouts and a plate of steamed fish in front of me.

*HEARTS*

AHHHHHH. Felt so satisfied after that. I can't remember when was the last time I ate home-cooked food. And at that, home-cooked food that wasn't a pot of broccoli, meatball and tofu soup that I boiled over the stove for 20 minutes after another day at the Airport.

In any case, I went to a grand total of THREE Coffee Bean outlets today.
Edmund Low chased us out of the Airport's branch again. He's very metro. Carries tote bags and looks suspiciously married/engaged. Also very fussy. Guess that adds to the metro bit.

I bet if I looked closely enough, he would've had manicured nails.

So yes, with his recommendation, Kit and I tottered over to the Expo's Coffee Bean and got the ultimate culture shock of our lives. It took about 15 minutes to settle in that this Bean was in the middle of absolutely nowhere, not even vaguely close to any form of civilization (Close to Hall 1 and 2. Most events are held at hall 5 or 6, which is nearer to the MRT) and that it was already densely populated by fellow muggers students.

Firstly, the place just utterly undefines what I have to associate with Coffee Bean - dim warm lights, woody interiors and cosy furnishing.

The Expo's Bean looked like a movable trailer that dropped down from the ceiling. Its just a vast, empty sprawling area with a bunch of tables, and throughout the day, there were possibly, three real customers? Parents with their lil' kids. Every other table was occupied by figures hunched over their books with their jackets wrapped around their shoulders and mp3 players plugged firmly in their ears (or not, since the Bean actually played Power 98).

I mean, I don't mean anything bad about the Expo's Bean or anything. I settled down (eventually) and am amused to say that I actually like the place. Sure it redefines Coffee Bean by being surrounded on all sides by clear glass windows that let in more light than your regular dentist, but hey, at least I don't have to worry about Edmund Low shuffling over and testily asking us to leave (which is why we have often been reduced to going in the late afternoons to avoid his shift).

I have nothing against that guy, its just very disconcerting to be continually sit there wondering if he's going to come over in the next 5 minutes and ask us to scram because 'My customers are coming.'

Can't say I disagree with that statement, but sometimes I have the nagging feeling that thats the precise reason why he always takes the busiest shift. Lol. Love that dude.


Gahh.
=)

Anyway, its a blessed 1st NOVEMBER. Because its time to reset the SMS counter. LOL. *kisses October's 1300 SMSes away*

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12:19 AM

Fweh. Pastor Mark's sermon is so good.

Quoting Adora's blog, there ain't much to say really. Just couldn't put it better myself.

"Songs from the heart, and songs for my Saviour. You guys who don't know Him will never understand. Oh, but don't you just want to know what I do? You must, because there's nothing like this in the whole universe, there's no one like Him in all eternity."

Indeed.. You never know what you're missing out in life until you realize how much you've really been missing without Him. After you find Him - no, after He finds you, mannn. Then you'd see.. how could I ever have lived life without knowing Him and His great love for me?

Its especially after going through all that crap in my early teenage years, it takes one to know one. Its only after all that.. and just having been brought this far by His love, looking back.. God.. you've been so good to me.

Oh mann. Just being blessed by Pastor Mark's message on iTunes right now, don't really feel like blogging.

Now is a time for rest!

Rest in His love, His grace, His favour.

When I cannot, He becomes my everything.
When I am weak, He becomes the strength in my life.

No evil can win against this child of God.
Because I am in the LORD.
I am ALWAYS victorious.
My God is ALWAYS for me.
Who can then be against me?

I am made in the image of Christ.

Thank you Lord.

I shall have whatsoever I say.

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Lizzy (04/02); student, teacher, saxophonist, graphic designer, writer, child of God.

Loves God, green tea frap and peanut butter cups. :D

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